Dear Diary
by Nicole

Dear Diary:

Today couldn't have been any better! We were in science class (boring I know). Mrs. Baxley assigned lab partners, I got Buffy Summers. I have been crushing on her since the first time I met her. I wanted to be her friend until I found out that she got kicked out of school for fighting, then she dissed me for the loser squad Willow Rosenberg, and Xander Harris. Why did I go out with him? The world will never know, but it did get me close to Buffy. I had it bad for her in junior year but she was going out with Angel O'Malley football jock. So I had to pine for her from afar, I wasn't about to let my friends know I was drooling over her. Now she and Angel are history because he moved away to LA or something. I say good riddance, now she can be mine. Buffy is coming by the house tonight to come up with an idea for our project. Her ideas are better than mine. I have a plan; by the time this project is over Buffy Summers will be mine.

Cordelia Chase.


Dear diary:

Buffy came over tonight to work on our project. I do not remember what it is about, wasn't paying that much attention. I was too busy admiring what she had on, boy was it hot! She had on a black knee length skirt that showed off those long legs. I could of just sat there and licked em for days(getting off track). The halter that she had on gave me a sneak peek of the twins. Oh how I wanted to lick and suck on them until they were standing out. I am getting so turned on I could just touch myself. Ok we were working close I could smell her Herbal Essences shampoo. I wanted to run my hands through it to feel its softness. Too bad she is straight or pretending to be. I see the way she acts around Faith and her innuendos! Talk about sexual tension gone wild. I keep going off topic, that is how bad I have it. So we were at the table and she asked, "How come you lack a That question came out of left field. What did it have to do with our project? So I told her " There is someone I like but; they don't know She responded with "Isn't that the truth, I feel the same way about I wanted to ask who? The phone rang it was her mom. I offered her a ride home, she said that was okay. I walked her to the door, she gave me a hug and said, " I think they know how you feel, cause they might feel the same.' Did she know? Am I that transparent!? I was in complete and total shock. Tomorrow at school step one will begin.


Dear Diary-Step one: Getting Buffy

Today was an awesome day! Step one went off without a hitch; I wore one of my most revealing outfits. I turned some serious heads, but there was only one head I wanted to turn. I walked into the library and saw Buffy and Faith studying, Buffy must have heard me because she turned around. I must have taken her off guard because she fell out of her chair. I rush over to make sure she was okay; Faith was too busy laughing her ass off. Xander and Willow chose that moment to come in, just what I needed. Before Xander could comment on my outfit Faith beat him to it. She said, "Cordelia what corner are you standing on tonight?" Everyone started laughing; Buffy got mad and said, "Leave Cordy alone! She looks hot, you are just jealous because she looks better in it than you!" Xander was doing a great interpretation of a fish, Willow stood there with her mouth opened. All Faith did was say, "Damn B defensive much!" She looked sheepish, and mumbled something about walking me to class. I asked her "What the hell was that all about!" She looked at me and said, "Nobody messes with my Cordy." She blushed and said, "What I mean was my friend." She turned and walked away before she said, "I love the outfit, looks good." I couldn't help but smile, so far everything is going according to plan. Tomorrow I will make her realize her feelings for me.


I can't believe what I let slip. My cordy what the hell is wrong with me?! Could I have been anymore obvious? I already said too much at her house the other day. She may not feel that way about me though, seeing her dressed like that sent me for a tailspin. Never did she ever look so delectable. I wanted to throw her down on the table, and just rub my hands all over her body. Make her moan and shiver until she wants my fingers in her tight cunt. I am in school, I need to stop but it is so hard. Willow is looking at me like I have gone crazy. She asked me if 'I am alright?' Sweet little naive Willow she wouldn't understand. I tell her that I am alright, just not feeling well. She looked at me skeptically, but bought it anyway. I couldn't explain this too her, she thinks I am straight. Hell! I don't even know what I am. Am I straight, bi, full on lesbian, confused? Who knows, but I am head over hills crazy for her. Problem is what do I do now?

At the beginning she was like a long distance associate, someone who always had something evil to say. Then I started dating Angel, she started dating Xander. I was mildly attracted to her, but I was so busy being a trophy girlfriend for Angel. We would go back and fourth like two little old ladies. Faith sad, 'It was UST.' Leave it to Faith to make it about sex. Xander broke it off with her because of her persistent flirting with other guys. She had the woman scorned thing going on, I wear if there was a vengence demon. I don't want to go there. I mean we had the same science class together this year, she is my partner. At first it was all so surreal QueenC being partnered with a 'loser'. Once I got to know her she was pretty okay. That doesn't explain my feelings, geeze obsessive much? How do I act the next time I see her. Just brush it off as nerves or a slip of the tongue? This is like so hard. Why do I have to fall for my worst enemy?


Buffy said that, 'I was hers.' In a way I kind of wish I was, she had me from the first time she said hello. Her personality and the fact that she was form L.A gave her a coolness factor. What really did me in was her green eyes, you could get lost in them. Naturally I had to cast her out when she started hanging out with those losers. You know the ones Rosenberg and Harris. Why did I date him? The world would never know. I am brought out of my musings by my many sheep. 'Love the outfit Cordy, Who are you trying to impress?' This coming from Harmony of course, nothing could ever get passed her; fashion wise that is.

'No one in particular, I just wanted to look good as always.' That seemed to have shut her up for a minute. She starts up again, god does she ever shut up? 'Did you hear that Faith and the freakzilla Buffy have something going on?' this question coming from Aurora. Again I ask, 'Why do I hang around these idiots?' 'Yeah, since Angel left I heard she switched sides', chimed in Harmony. Where they were getting this stuff from was beyond me. I roll my eyes again, 'Buffy and Faith don't have a thing going on, they are just good friends. Besides Faith is totally into Fred, as far as Buffy she is still looking.' That ought to shut them up. They give me strange looks, 'What? I am Queen C I know everything.' Sometimes they just get on my nerves.

The bell rang and I got up to leave the sooner the better. I heard Harmony ask, 'What is her deal?' If they only knew. I was headed to the cafeteria where I knew Buffy would be; after all she is my science partner. I spot her sitting at her usual table with the losers and of course Faith. 'Hey Cordy over here.' I hear Faith yell, I swear that girl got some lungs. She should be a cheerleader seriously. I walk over and take a seat next to Buffy; our legs accidentally brushed one another. We blushed and looked away hoping no one noticed. 'So Buffy are we up for the Bronze tonight?' this coming from Xander.

'Sorry Xander, but I am going over to Cordelia's tonight.' That ought to shut him up, again, why did I date him? Willow choked on her juice. 'What? She is my science partner after all!' I snapped, my gods are they delusional or something. Faith smirked, obviously knowing something we don't. 'What is your project on? How opposites attract?'

Leave it to Faith to try and figure things out. 'No it's not, it's based on the laws of attraction, I mean reaction.' She tried to cover up her slip; Faith and I were the only ones who caught her slip. Xander and Willow need to bye a clue or two. I really didn't want to participate in their small talk; I got up to leave just when the bell rang. Everyone got up from the table, "Buffy would you mind walking me to math? We could discuss our project more." Hey I have to get in some me time somewhere. 'No problem after you your royal ness.' She mocked bowed to me; she never ceases to amaze me. Leaving Willow and Xander there with their mouths open. I heard Willow ask, ' What's up with them?' Are they really that stupid? "It's a B&C thing you wouldn't understand" Faith replied. If they only knew.


We walked in compatible silence, I couldn't have that. "What time should I expect you?" She had a look on her face like trying to find the right time. "How about 7ish? That's when mom gets home." She flashed me a brilliant smile. "Seven it is, I will have the refreshments, and you bring the information." 'Okay seven then" God could we be anymore pathetic? We arrived at my class, "Thanks for walking me to class."

"No problem I was enjoying the company." I couldn't help but giggle she turned around and walked away. That girl is going to be my downfall from grace, but do you think I care? I don't think so.


Free period, I'll go to the library and bug Giles. I don't know what is going on; it's just something about Cordelia. I was head over heals in love with Angel, but there is no such thing as a long distance relationship. I mean the feelings for Cordelia have always been there except for they were more like I tolerate you feelings. (If that makes sense.) I open the door and there's Faith at the table. I forgot she has a free period also, then I see Fred behind the counter. "Hey Fred, how's it going?" I don't know her like talking about, but it doesn't hurt to speak. "I'm good Buffy, how are you?" I flash her one of my famous smiles. "Your dad hasn't come back yet." Faith started laughing, I give her a glare.

Everyone knows that Giles the librarian is my step dad. He married my mom the summer after my freshman year. As long as she is happy I am happy. I approached the table and Faith has a question. "So B what's going on with you and Queen C?" That's our Faith always the one to spot the obvious. "Nothing is going on we are just science partners, nothing more." Keep telling yourself that I say to myself. "Science partners, yeah right!" Faith can't seem to let anything go. "You want to study every bit of her anatomy, and don't lie Twinkie I know you." How could I get myself out of this without letting anything slip out?

"I see the looks and the way the sexual tension rolls off of you in waves. You want to fuck her." I look at Faith like she had grown two heads, how could she know this. "I take your silence as a confession. Listen Blondie I 'm going to give you some advice 'Seize the day'." I look at her, "That's it seize the day?" Could you get more generic? If I wanted that advice I would have asked Willow, but she does have a point. "I think I will 'Seize the day' life is short." I gave her a smile. "Now all you need to do is take your own advice and talk to Fred." She gave me one of those shocked looks; I got up and walked out. Only if people could take their own advice.

To be continued