Ok I'm about fifteen minutes away from an interview with none other then Jay Leno himself and I'm gonna have to lie. Me, Cordelia Chase, is going to have to tell an outright lie. I never lie. I'm blunt, I tell the truth no matter how annoying it is. I like being blunt. I like being bitchy, but now I'm gonna have to lie.
Yeah I bet you're saying, "tell the truth." Well damn if it isn't so simple. Let me see. Oh yeah, Mr. Leno, you know that tv show I'm on, Jenny the Vampire Slayer, well... It's based on real life. Uh huh. No I'm not crazy. Oh you want me to go with those guys in the white coats. Yeah sure.
Like anyone's gonna believe that vampires are real. That for two years, before I got my big break I worked for one. Yup, those guys in the white coats again. No one's gonna belive that for most of my life I lived over a Hellmouth. That I've seen things that still give me nightmares. No one is going to believe that little ol' me can gut a demon in ten seconds flat. Yup, I'm gonna tell him that.
That's not even the biggest lie I have to tell. He's gonna ask me about my love life. I just know he is. I'm gonna have to lie about that too. That hurts the most. You see I love her. I really really do. It surprised me. Hell it surprised her.
Oh my God. Jay Leno is about to call my name. I have got to be perfect. I can't let him see me sweat. This won't be so bad. A few little white lies and then it will be over. I can go home and kiss her. Go home and well..... You can figure it out. She knows that I'm not going to tell him about her. She understands. I'm the one who doesn't.
Here I go. One foot in front of the other. Shake his hand. Smile. Sit down on the couch. There. That wasn't so hard.
"So Cordelia, is there anyone special in your life?"
The moment of truth. Open mouth. Lie. Just one little white lie and then you can go home.
"Yes. Her name is Willow Rosenberg."
Oh my God. Did I just say that?