beats being a lawyer
I'm pretty sure you're not expecting this letter. That is, unless you and my evil hand were in cahoots from the start. Quite honestly, I wouldn't be surprised.
Well, I'm dead. Currently residing... elsewhere. I was given the opportunity to write a final letter (not write exactly... dictate?) to somebody down on that miserable little planet, so I figured I'd harass you some more.
I suppose you want to know the how and when. I'm not going into great detail but let's just say: never accept body parts from Wolfram and Hart.
Since starting with Wolfram and Hart I've seen and done a lot of things that nobody should ever deserve to see or do. But I did them, often without thinking twice. My twisted ambition to be better than I was is what got me here, and let me tell you, here sucks. Whatever you want to call it, god or light, or -- we'll just call it 'him' -- has put me here because of the things I "accomplished" as a lawyer for Wolfram and Hart -- all of the pain and suffering we've caused. Well... except for shooting that guy in the foot, I think he might have liked that one...
But this letter isn't meant to be some kind of whiny-assed complaint about my life. I'm over it. But I've got this one chance, so I'm gonna use it. Put some points in my plus column.
Get out now, while you can...and don't ever, ever, look back. Wolfram and Hart will destroy you... or they already have. On the off chance they haven't, you need to know that there's no single shred of humanity left in that firm. That whatever goodness or human decency you have left in you will slowly drain away until you are an empty shell - a walking, talking, mindless idiot, and guess what? Wolfram and Hart have the remote.
I was nearly there, they nearly had me one hundred percent, but then they made a mistake. They played the wrong card, and with the... god, I don't want to say help... of a certain pain in the ass vampire I was given the most mind-shattering wake up call in history. It's what led me here, I must admit... but I wouldn't trade the short time I spent with true freedom for a thousand years of working at Wolfram and Hart. In all truth, I condemned you by turning the position over to you that day... and I'm sorry.
Well, not really. You pissed me off a lot, and I think I returned the favor. But ... not even you deserve what they'll do to you if you play their game. So don't. Quit while you're ahead. Or, well, alive...
Time isn't passing, Lilah. It's stationary. We're the ones moving. And death? Death is when you stop.
Wolfram and Hart can plot all they like, but I'm the one laughing. They had me in the palm of their hands and I slipped through. Sure, I'm dead, but it beats being a lawyer. It's done now, Lilah. The fat lady is singing.
d e a d l e t t e r s h o m e