from: "tara" <tara45@sg.net>
_-SuN-_
Subject: Willow
Date: Sat, 13 Jan 2001 15:19:04 -0600
From: "Tara" <Tara45@sg.net>
To: Tara45@sg.netThere's only one reason you'd be reading this now... It was bound to happen, no-one lives forever.. or.. at least... I mean... Hmm.. Well, I'm saving this in my inbox with trust that you will move to clear out my computer and... eventually find this here.
I know you already understand there's no one that could mean as much as you do to me. I've always tried my hardest to let that show. I never held back... I know you know that too, but... You were the love of my life, Willow.
I trust you.. trusted you with everything I am and hoped to become.
.. and I don't want to upset you... But if for some reason we failed and evil came and swallowed up the world... Or if maybe I tripped on a shoelace and fell in an open sewer hole... Well, I had no regrets.
I waited all my life to be apart of everything you stand for. And... Really.. I look up to you. With your hopes, and ideals. Your collective courage and strength... You bring out the best in me. You changed my life, and I would never take back a second spent with you. The only time I've ever been happy was when I was standing by your side.
Remember all the times we met under the tree's in the park across campus? Sometimes you were late, and I would sit and stare at a book unable to focus on the words. I'd turn the page, and read a sentence, and wonder how that fits into the story. I'd smile and roll my eyes, re-read that last page once more, and still be unable to focus. But then you'd come. I'd look up and see you, your hair always glowing in the sun, and your dress wrapping around your legs.
And I smiled to know you were finally here, and I'd close that silly book.
There's no will. Everything I have is yours now. You, being the first person to believe in me. To balance out my. You taught me so much, and... Well, all these silly possessions always belonged to you as much as me anyways. Tell Miss Kitty to be good when I'm away too, don't let her eat herbs or cry so loudly when it rains... I think our neighbors suspect she's living with us. I couldn't bare if they took her away.
Then... Sometimes, when we embraced, there was always someone to point or.. Or shake their head at us. But you never cared, you never yelled at them for their blindness or bow your head to their prejudice. Even after all the times you put your own life anonymously at risk for them. And when I became flustered, and craved their understanding... One look to you though, and I didn't. I just went on with no need to acknowledge them.
It was because of you that I achieved my true potential. After years of growing up, being held back by the ones meant to guide me forward. Growing up in psychological restraints, I spent my teenage years in shackles of fear.
But I have no fear now. Of the unknown, or death, or magic. I have no fear of myself and you gave that to me.