He was trying to figure out his favorite part. For some people, the
concentration required for this would have been a distraction from the
task at hand, but, for him, it only enhanced his enjoyment of the
experience. He focused on each individual movement and contact, comparing
and contrasting. His lip scraping over stubble, the salty tang of sweat,
the distinctly non-female scent, moist suckling noises mixed with
definitely male moans, the feel of someone else's arousal pressing into
Finally, he figured it out. The weight. He was pinned to the floor of
the van, but comfortably so. All he could do was concentrate on and
respond to the mouth, hands, and body pressed against his own. Now he
knew one of the attractions of bondage. Not having the option to move
allowed him to focus on the sensations attacking him. At that particular
moment, his attention was caught by the lips, teeth, and tongue tugging at
his ear. The tongue, lips, and teeth moved to his neck, pulling at his
skin almost painfully. Almost. Not quite. He smiled. That was going to
leave a mark.
Truthfully, he had said Xander's name simply to feel the vibrations
created by the response. He had been counting on the fact that Xander
would not want to pull away from his neck. And it was a good gamble.
Except now he had a problem. "Xander, you need to get up. Off of me.
"Why?" Muffled against his skin.
"Because if you don't, it's going to get messy. Literally. And I don't
have any more clean pants."
Xander paused mid-lick before pulling his hips away from Oz's, reaching
down to undo the smaller man's fly.
At that point, Oz gritted his teeth, calling up every last ounce of
discipline he had. "No, Xan, I mean it. Not now."
Hurt, Xander pulled away and sat against the wall of the van. "Okay."
Oz sighed. "Do you think I'm having second thoughts?" His heart fell
when Xander nodded. "Well, I'm not. I just want to make sure you don't
do anything you're going to regret. I want to make sure you really know
what we're doing." He paused, wondering if he was going overboard with
his words. "And you deserve more than just a fast grope in the back of a
"Is that what you told Willow?"
The words were like a sledgehammer to his gut. But as Oz met Xander's
eyes, he realized he was reading more into the question than was intended.
"After this, no more talk of Willow?" Xander nodded in agreement.
"Okay. No, it's not what quite I told her, but the idea is the same. I
told her that I wanted to make sure she was over you. Really, I'm
selfish. I wanted to know I had her full attention." He reached out to
stroke the back of Xander's neck. "And I want to make sure I have your
full attention now. I want no regrets. No 'I only did it because I had
nothing better to do.' I want to know that you've had time to think about
it and decide that you want me, not just some fast action because you
don't have a girlfriend at the moment." Now he grinned. "And I really
don't want to remember our first time as being in the back of my van
because someone was too anxious to wait."
Xander bit his lip. "Our first time? As in, more than once?" He
smiled, reaching for Oz. "Works for me."
"No, Xander." Gently, Oz pushed Xander's arms away. "Think about this.
I mean, this is a big thing. Once we go past kissing, it will be a
full-fledged homosexual experience. We're not going to do this now
because I want to make sure you really know what you're doing."
"I think I can figure out the logistics, Oz."
He shook his head. "No, that's not what I mean. I need to know that you
really want this. That you're not just here because you have nothing
better to do. That you want this as much as I do." Now Oz looked at the
clock on the dashboard. "Hey, we should go get your car now. If we're
back by one, my aunt will spring for lunch."
Now Xander sighed. "You know, having time to think about things means
that I might reconsider this whole thing.
"I know. But, you know, I've thought about this. A lot. And I've
realized that you can either be spontaneous and regret things later, or
you can be very deliberate about it." Turning his attention back to
Xander, he decided that a demonstration was in order. "Which do you like
better, this?" Quickly, he grabbed Xander's head and kissed him harshly,
not wasting any time in getting their tongues tangled. "Or this?"
Slowly, carefully, he sucked Xander's lower lip into his mouth, gently
tracing the other man's jaw with one hand while cradling the back of
Xander's head with the other. Then, just as Xander moved his hands to
Oz's head in an attempt to hold him in place, Oz pulled away and moved to
the driver's seat of the van.
Breathing heavily, Xander climbed into the passenger's seat. "You know,
I'm not going to be able to think about anything else now."
Oz smiled, keeping his eyes glued to the road. "That's the plan."