What Did You Do?
"What did you do?"
Tara sat on the bed. Feeling guilty, knowing that she hadn't done anything wrong but a lifetime of indoctrination telling her that she was bad. Her fathers voice telling her that the evil in her would destroy the family.
There was a pounding at the door that almost shook it off its hinges. Tara trembled as she unlocked it. She'd expected this but still dreaded it.
Buffy was standing outside. She did not look happy.
"B-b-b-buffy."
"What did you do to my sister?" Tara moved aside to let the slayer into the room. Buffy walked in and looked at Tara expectantly.
"I d-d-didn't do anyth..."
"Tara! She is crying her eyes out in her room and saying that you hate her. Now what the hell happened?"
Tara tried to calm herself. She had lived for almost a year after meeting Willow with the belief that someday Buffy would find out she was a demon and kill her. Even now that she had been told she wasn't a demon the feelings remained. She knew she was human in her mind but her gut kept trying to tell her she was demon underneath. She shook the fear from her mind. "I can't. It w-w-wouldn't be right to tell you."
Buffy took a threatening step towards the witch. Tara closed her eyes and steeled herself for a blow. The sight made Buffy stop short and back away. She knew she was overreacting but she was already jealous of the bond that Tara and Dawn had. "I'm not going to hurt you. Tara, she's my sister. I love her." Buffy met Tara's gaze. The slayers eyes were soulful. "You didn't see how upset she was..... It was heartbreaking. Tell me what happened?" She added a final heartfelt "please."
Tara sat on the bed and didn't reply for a moment. She didn't want to betray Dawn's trust but Buffy was only looking out for her. She motioned for Buffy to sit also. The slayer sat but didn't take her off the witch. Waiting for an answer.
Tara started to talk but got stuck on the first syllable and took another deep breath, trying to regain her composure. "Dawn and I w-went to a movie. Afterwards w-we came back here and talked."
"Get to the bit where you hate her." Buffy regretted the words the instant they were said. "Sorry."
"I don't hate her. I could n-n-never hate her. I just can't be what she w-w-w..." She looked away from Buffy. "We talked and she told me that she missed me. That she w-wanted me h-home."
Buffy stood up. "So you're saying she's just upset because you won't get back with Willow?" The slayer's guilt reared its head. She wasn't giving Dawn a good enough home.
Tara shook her head. Her voice gentled "She kissed me, Buffy."
There was a very long silence as Buffy stared at Tara's downturned head. "You kissed my fifteen-year-old sister?"
"N no. She kissed me. I told her it couldn't happen. I tried to be gentle b-b-but she took it hard. She left."
"Dawn wouldn't have done that. Dawn wouldn't have kissed you."
Tara looked at Buffy sadly but didn't reply.
"Why would she do that? What have you done to her?"
"Buffy." Tara said her name gently. "I didn't do anything t-to lead her on. I w was just her friend."
Buffy stood up then sat down again. Her shoulders slumped. "I know that. I know you didn't intentionally do anything but how can she not be influenced by you. You and Willow."
Tara tried to interrupt, to explain. "It doesn't..."
"No. It's my fault. I wasn't there for her. I didn't provide a good example." Buffy stood again and paced. Her hands clenching and unclenching.
"Buffy, If she's gay then that's just how she is. It's not anyone's fault." Tara forced out the words with an effort.
Buffy just stared at Tara. "I didn't say she was gay. I never said that."
"I m-m-mean that..."
"Dawn is too young to know if she's gay or not! She is only fifteen!"
Tara looked away. Unwilling to debate this with Buffy, especially when the slayer was so angry.
Buffy took a moment to calm down, to try and see things more rationally. "Look, I know that you would never do anything to Dawn. I know you care for her."
Tara nodded, the knotted feeling of her stomach relaxing slightly. Buffy would be reasonable.
"But I don't want you to see Dawn again."
"Buffy!" Tara was shocked.
"Dawn is too young to make that kind of decision, it could ruin her life."
"It's not a decision." Tara's voice was steady. Forcing herself to speak clearly. "And if she is gay then trying to suppress those feelings could ruin her life."
"Tara... Just stay away from her. Don't destroy my family" Buffy walked out, slamming the door.
The words left Tara stunned as Buffy's words sunk in, mixing with words already hammered into her mind. She wept softly for a long time and by dawn she had started to pack her bags.