Hot Water, KY, And The End Of The World
Whenever Jeremiah is away from the mountain, Markus can't wait until he returns.
Markus saves up hot water for him, waits until Jeremiah has washed his hair and skin, waits until he's just stood for a while and his shoulders relax in the steam. Markus moves in behind him and Jeremiah turns and they hold each other under the spray. They kiss, not on the mouth, but cheek and neck and chest, hands moving slickly over hot skin, through wet hair.
Then Markus turns around and Jeremiah fucks him.
They shut off the water first so the lube won't wash away. Markus bends over and braces one forearm against the wall. The tiles mark lines on his skin. Jeremiah wraps one arm around Markus's chest and his other hand splays against the tile. It's awkward, but they manage.
It was Markus who made the first move, the first time, stepping into the shower with a bar of fresh-made soap and a question in his eyes. But it was Jeremiah who took Markus's face into his hands, Jeremiah who produced the pristine tube of K-Y.
There are lots of things they could use for this, things easily replaced. But Markus has got it in his head that the fucks contained in this 4 oz tube of #1 doctor recommended personal lubricant are all the fucks that they are ever going to have. And so he begrudges every cold smear that Jeremiah pushes up inside of him, every sticky drop that runs down his thighs. Markus carefully folds up the bottom of the tube afterwards and examines it for cracks.
Jeremiah isn't a big man, but he's solid, dense even, as though he's made of lead underneath his warm skin. He fucks solidly, intensely, deliberately. He would curl his fingers around Markus's cock and jack him in the same deliberate way, but Markus won't let him. Markus always does that job himself, pumping himself twice for every stroke of Jeremiah's.
Markus doesn't even like Jeremiah. Whenever Jeremiah is around, Markus feels judged, and judged unworthy. Judged inadequate, because he can't solve every single problem for every single person in this sorry world. Markus knows that he has to look after the big picture, that's his job, but when Jeremiah is there, he only feels the guilt that God must feel, looking down at all the people He couldn't save.
So this is his reward and his punishment, to scrabble at wet tile and moan into the humid air until his come splashes on the wall and Jeremiah tightens his arm and buries his face in Markus's back.
They turn the water on again and wash away the stickiness. They stand there for a while, foreheads pressed together, hands on each other's cheeks, and Markus wonders what Jeremiah thinks of him, how Jeremiah feels when Markus is around.
And then they leave the shower and they dress and when they talk, they disagree.
Whenever Jeremiah is at the mountain, Markus can't wait until he leaves.