Elena, Aged
Elena, aged 17, with a strange smile on her face when they leave that shitty town forever, telling him that she will never look back. Lies never sound that beautiful again.
Elena, aged 21, almost throwing him out of their apartment: because, damn it, she needs to study, she needs to understands this. He knows that she doesn't mean Melville when she says that; he knows that she doesn't know it herself. But he doesn't say it and she doesn't think about it, and so he keeps quiet while she reads "Bartleby". When she's finished she goes to bed without kissing him, and he whispers the story's end to himself until he knows she'll be asleep when he enters their bedroom.
Elena, aged 24, dragging him to a party. She looks like a flame that night: and when they dance, the fire that's burned warm and slowly in him since he saw her for the first time, explodes again - and she laughs against the skin of his neck and he smiles so hard that his teeth turn sharp. But she doesn't mind, she never did; and her blood is salty in his mouth.
Elena, aged 27, asking if vampires can have children. He tells her no, and so she leaves. Stefan knows she cries in the bathroom. He tells her through the bathroom door that they can get a child another way. He can hear her bitter laughter. And he knows she wants his child.
Elena, aged 28, starting a food fight. He hides under the table. Not that it helps him much.
Elena, aged 29 and eleven months, standing in front of the mirror and looking at it with something like hatred in her eyes. She traces the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth with her fingers, and he wants to tell her she's beautiful. Because she is. But he doesn't, because she ages and he doesn't, and there are things she won't believe he understands.
Elena, aged 32, crying silently because Margaret is getting married and she can't go because she's still dead in Fell's Church - there is still a grave in that damn city with her name on it.
Elena, aged 34, and Bonnie and Meredith are there, too. One full of life and energy, the other one calm and collected. Stefan feels like it's years ago, and he needs to look out of the window to make sure that they aren't in Fell's Church.
Elena, aged 37, and Damon is in the city. Dark and charming and for the first time Stefan is not happy to see him. Damon takes her out and invites Stefan along because it's Stefan and Elena, and Damon knows that he had lost that battle decades ago. Still Stefan can't help but cringe when he sees her in his brother's arms, laughing and dancing wildly to the music. In that moment Elena looks 17 again. And it's Damon who made her look this way.
Elena, aged 39, talking to Matt on the phone. Awkward pauses and stilted phrases, and Stefan misses Fell's Church for the very first time. The call is over after half a hour and Elena doesn't say anything for a long time. Then she smiles and shrugs and makes herself a cup of coffee.
Elena, aged 43, away for a conference, and Stefan walks through their apartment like a ghost.
Elena, aged 45, angry and frustrated because she lost her job. It wasn't her fuck-up, it was a co-worker; but that co-worker is 24 and sleeps with the boss, and Elena throws the remote control against the wall when they watch TV. She cries then, her face against his shoulder. Cries and curses because she is helpless and she can't do anything. Stefan can't either, and for a moment he wishes he could be like Damon and could just do something.
Elena, aged 50, and him, in a roller coaster, screaming and laughing and holding hands.
Elena, aged 53, in a restaurant where the waiter calls him her son. Stefan offers to kill him when he is gone, but Elena doesn't smile.
Elena, aged 56, in a hospital. The staff never notices that her ID card is fake and their insurance company pays without trouble. A part of Stefan hoped it would be different because Elena's aunt is still alive and Elena misses her. Someone finding out that something is wrong with Elena besides being ill would have been a chance for something. Because Elena would never go back to her family, would never let her family know she's still alive. Because her family wouldn't understand, she says, because she doesn't want to scare them. Stefan knows that Elena is much more scared herself.
Elena, aged 61, still laughing herself silly every time they have sex. Because it's great, because it's them, and Stefan grins at her, his teeth shining in the darkness.
Elena, aged 65, falling asleep in front of the TV and he can't stop staring at her.
Elena, aged 69 and she laughs at her birthday, and Bonnie can't stop making silly little jokes about the number. Meredith frowns but smiles and Damon hovers over them, looking at them with serious eyes. When he leaves he hugs Bonnie, suddenly and hard, and they stare after him when he leaves the room, a feather falling down in front of Bonnie's feet.
Elena, aged 72, reading in the bed beside him, her lips moving slightly as her eyes wander down the page. And he reaches out to touch her, strokes her hair and she looks at him and smiles. And God, it burns inside of him, the lines of her face, the paper of her skin, the fragile bones of her hand. It burns and it hurts and he closes his eyes.
Elena, aged 76, sick and tired, and he sits beside her bed for hours.
Elena, aged 78, behind a black veil at Bonnie's funeral, and he holds her and Meredith holds on to her and he feels like he's the only thing that keeps them from falling apart. Damon is there, too, standing alone; and for a moment Stefan thinks Damon is going to cry. But Damon doesn't, and Damon smiles when he takes Meredith's hands and leads her away from the grave. All Stefan can do is to wrap his arms around Elena and follow them.
Elena, aged 80, and Meredith, Meredith's grandchildren running around them. They laugh and smile and Stefan watches them from the hallway and he wants to watch them forever.
Elena, aged 83; old and brittle and fragile in his arms. He knows he can't live without her; he learned it during these last years. But she's dying now, has been dying since her birth, but now it will be over soon. And he can't live without her, he won't, he refuses to. He bites her again and her blood tastes different now, bitter and old, and it feels like ash on his tongue. He doesn't take much, he knows it would kill her faster, and he wants her to be on his side, he wants her to drink. But she doesn't, she doesn't. He sits with her then, waiting to see the blue of her eyes again, waiting for her to move. She never does and her skin is cold under his, cold and grey. But he doesn't let go, and he doesn't stop waiting, and the sunrise is bright around him.