Sonny In Space
"Wow, he's Sonny in space!" Cadman said toward the viewscreen, falling into McKay's lap without so much as a by-your-leave. "And like, this other guy? The drunk masochist? Is so his Jason."
"What, what are you talking about?" McKay asked, trying to be annoyed that someone was interrupting his precious Battlestar Galactica time. He'd bribed a crewman on the Daedalus with a sweet program that hid computer game time from the brass to get the entire second season so far burned on disc.
But it would keep, and Cadman was doing the "my ass makes McKay-cock solid as a rock" routine which meant he would only get sex after he listened to whatever ridiculous tangent she was on today.
"Okay, you've NEVER heard of General Hospital? Blasphemer," Cadman grumped, all the while rubbing her nipples with her thumbs through her top. "Okay, imagine if um, Edward James Olmos was a mobster who ran a town instead of a ship. And he was all emotional all the time and that his drunk masochist was younger, hotter, and competent. They would then be Sonny and Jason from General Hospital."
McKay stared at her. "You're insane," he said. "You're comparing a classic science fiction character, re-imagined, to a mobster on a crappy daytime soap?"
"They're in love, too," Cadman said. "I mean, they're not gay, but like, you know how Adama has 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one except when the chick from Independence Day is macking on Adama's hot son?"
"Mary McDonnell is NOT macking on Adama's hot son! That's disturbing!" McKay said, feeling his cock harden because now Cadman was doing the thing where she was kind of bouncing in his lap? And it was really unfair, because how could she say that Mary McDonnell was flirting with Lee Adama, because that was Oedipally wrong.
"Oh, whatever. Why are all her staffers young and hot and male? She totally wants to climb those manly arms," Cadman said. "She's kind of Alexis, but not really. And Jason's bitchy wife is so the Carly, except eviler."
McKay choked, but that was more because now Cadman was doing the thing where she started scratching him with one fingernail right above where his cock was at attention.
"I know NONE of these people," McKay said, trying to focus on the battle at hand. "And if you know who all the characters on Battlestar Galactica are, why do you want to make it complicated by saying that Adama is Sonny in Space?"
"Because it's funny," Cadman said. "Because now I'm imagining the true love of Adama and Tigh, and now Tigh is like, 'Sonny, I won't take the fall for you this time!' and why is it that you fuckers can get like, unaired episodes of Battlestar Galactica, but oh no, not even one episode of General Hospital? That's sexist. I want to know what's going on with Skye and Luke. I bet they've broken up. Fucking soap opera."
McKay snorted, and got, for his pains, the ankle hook of doom, because that meant that she was bouncing even harder on his cock, and if Cadman didn't unbutton him soon, he was certain, damn certain, that she was going to bruise him and cause sperm damage.
And she knew that, which is why she did it, because she felt he was being a pussy when he whined about it.
"What? It couldn't be because Battlestar Galactica is a modern classic and General Hospital is crap, could it?" McKay asked. "Ow! That's causing potential nerve damage!"
Cadman stuck her tongue out. "Rodney, you're such a cockbite," she said. "You're getting pissy over a remake of the world's crappiest seventies sci-fi series. I mean, at the very least, get upset because I'm bagging on Babylon 5, you goddamn bandwagoneer. Or frelling Farscape."
McKay had not thought it was possible for his dick to get harder, but hearing Laura Cadman use the world frelling almost made him come in his shorts.
"You...know B5 and Farscape?" he asked, suddenly cupping her breasts. Laura smiled triumphantly. "That's, like, incredibly hot. I mean, so hot that I need to fuck you now."
"I know. I felt your dick go rigid," Laura said. "You are SUCH a geek."
"And you watched B5," Rodney replied. "Let's go."