What's So Great About Being Nice?
Izzie had hidden out in the corridor because she wanted to be alone. Not dealing with the Alex situation, not dealing with the Denny situation, just being free of the complicated realities of being a surgical intern and a red-blooded American woman who liked sex and being treated well.
Of course, that was when Cristina showed up, with a coke, an apple, and her usual heaping helping of attitude.
"Congratulations! I heard you told Alex where he could shove it," Cristina said. "The sex could only save him for so long, I guess."
Izzie shot Cristina a dirty look. "Thanks."
"Hey, it's a good thing. You should be dancing in the street, not hiding out," Cristina said.
That did it.
"Why can't you act like a human being, just for thirty seconds?" Izzie asked angrily, red-eyed and stung. "You know, if you broke up with Burke, I'd be all sympathetic."
Cristina shrugged and snorted. "That's because Burke is a good guy, and it would be sad if we broke up," she said. "Alex is hellspawn, a total jackass, and you could do a lot better than him, even if we're talking booty call."
Izzie sighed dramatically. "Cristina, this is why you have issues with patients," she said. "My jackass left me. Would you be happy if you heard, I dunno, Bailey telling Burke to cheer up over the break-up, because you're a soulless bitch?"
Cristina paused for a moment. "Bailey would do a better job than telling Burke I was a soulless bitch," she said. "Bailey and I have a bond. She'd tell him that I didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground, and that he should thank his lucky stars that he wasn't the one who had to curb my smart mouth at hospital functions."
With a glare, Izzie snorted, and then started to chuckle a tiny, tiny bit. Cristina grinned smugly and leaned against the wall.
"Come on, Izzie, it's funny cuz it's true," Cristina said, taking a bite out of her apple.
"How do you do that?" Izzie asked. "Make it a good thing to be a hateful bitch?"
"Because it's not being a hateful bitch," Cristina said with a shrug. "It's knowing who I am and not caring if other people like me or not. I'm an impatient surgical intern with more ambition than the rest of you put together, the brains to back it up, and very, very little interest in all this touchy-feely squishy crap people claim is so human. So what?"
"So, you alienate people, you embarrass yourself in situations where I know you want to be seen as competent, AND despite all the tough-girl bullshit, you're dating Burke, who is like, kind and good and all those things you claim don't matter to you," Izzie replied. She was not about to be cowed by Cristina's routine. Not after all the time she spent with it, and Alex's arrogant ass.
Long pause from Cristina, who covered it up by taking another bite out of her apple. Izzie allowed herself a little smile -- usually, nobody shut Cristina up like that, except Bailey on the rampage.
"Okay, so maybe I'm not against the nice people of the universe. Well, not all of them, because most of them fall under dumb, and I am against the dumb people of the universe," Cristina said, glaring at the apple. "But what about you, huh? What about Burke?"
"What about us?" Izzie asked.
"So if I don't hate nice people because I'm sleeping with Burke, doesn't that mean that by dating me, maybe Burke doesn't entirely want a girl like you? No offense," Cristina said. Izzie snorted. "Hey, you know what I'm saying. You fucked the hellspawn while sober."
Izzie sighed and ruffled her own hair, scratching idly at an itchy spot over her ear. Cristina waited, just waiting for her moment to smugly grin.
"You never know," Izzie said. "Maybe someday Burke and I will be having dinner parties where he cooks and I clean that are civilized and without drama."
Cristina glowered. "You touch Burke, even in fiction, ever again? I will cut you," she said.
"Or maybe you and Alex are meant to be. Who knows?" Izzie said, warming to the topic. "Your children would be so arrogant that they'd announce they were God in kindergarten."
"Oh, that's it, you're dead and I'm going to kill you," Cristina said, casting aside her apple and going after Izzie. "I am going to pull your hair until you cry, Stevens!"
"Yeah, let's see it, 90210," Izzie replied, fending off Cristina's pitiful attempts to scrap by seizing the other intern's wrists and pulling them up. "That's right, trailer trash represent."
"Hey!" Cristina said. "Hey, ow, wrists. Valuable surgeon hands being maimed here."
Izzie twisted on them, and Cristina shrieked, kicking futilely at Izzie. Izzie waited, and Cristina stopped pushing and kicking. Izzie, with the world's biggest sneer, let go, and that was when Cristina attacked, hands going right for Izzie's throat.
"You are such. a. bitch," Izzie rasped when a quick knee into Cristina's stomach knocked her off Izzie. "I should get you, but I keep thinking George or Bailey or Meredith's going to show up out of nowhere and we're going to be boned, so, out of respect for our professional careers, I'm going to refrain from kicking your ass."
"That's so NICE of you," Cristina said, snorting and half-laughing. "But see what I mean? Underneath that nice girl who cares so much, you're someone who fights dirty and insults your enemy, too."
"And you use insults to cover up how much you care, so whatever floats your boat, Yang," Izzie said, throwing herself back against the wall. "I wish I could make Alex catch on fire with the power of my mind."
"I wish Meredith and George would make up so I didn't have to feel guilty for cheating to get him out of my apartment," Cristina confessed.
"Seriously," Izzie agreed.
Before Cristina could say anything, her beeper went off, and she took off, abandoning her snack and Izzie.
But that was okay. Izzie took Cristina's apple, and taking a big bite out of it, realized that she did feel better.
After all, now there was proof she could totally take Cristina in a fight, and that was something she couldn't wait to tell George, Meredith, and anyone else who needed to know.