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The first time Logan Echolls thought about Veronica Mars 'that way' with any detail or enthusiasm, she was thirteen. He was thirteen too, though, so it wasn't as fucked up as all that. Or maybe it was and he's too damaged to see it. Most days, he's pretty sure he is.
He had that first real dirty thought in homeroom the morning after one of his dad's rejects stumbled drunk into his game room, pulled the controller from his hand and proceeded to go down on him. She stank of booze and weed. He'd picked the controller back up and tried to keep playing, but the things she did to him made him lose the fight. The bad guy ripped his head off, drippy spine attached, and shortly after that he came in her mouth.
His dad had congratulated him. His dad had sent her, probably paid for her too, he later found out. But as grievances against his father went, well, that one didn't even make the b-roll, now did it?
The next morning in homeroom, Logan bragged about it to all his friends. Veronica Mars came in late and sat in front of him, a few chairs up and one row over. After she got settled, she looked over her shoulder and smiled at him for no reason at all. He imagined her continuing to smile at him as he got out of his seat and walked up the row to her. He imagined grabbing her ponytail and pulling her head back. He imagined pulling her smile down to do what the lady did the night before, only Veronica would giggle the whole time. When he let her up for air she said his name. She said his name, not his father's when she kissed him after, with wet lips.
He still gets mileage out of that one on occasion. At least he feels a little guilty afterwards.
It was about a month before she died that Lilly brought up the idea of fucking Veronica. This happened while they did it on Mrs. Kane's favorite white couch. He suggested putting his jacket down, but she just hopped up on her tiptoes and kissed his nose. "And where is the fun in that? Just sit down and whip that puppy out, big boy."
He pushed his shorts to his ankles, then wiggled it at her. She rolled her eyes and climbed onto his lap, not even bothering to take off her Sketchers.
After she sank down onto him, she just sat there, not moving. She liked to torture him like that. She liked to talk dirty, barely moving, casting around for new words to make him take control and pound her silly. He liked to make her wait and squirm on top of him.
"How much tighter than me do you think Veronica is? Oh. Oh, I see. I think Logan Jr. likes the idea of Veronica's," she leaned in and pressed her tits to his chest. "Her tight, little, yeah. You want that?"
He grabbed her hips then, hard enough to leave marks, just the way she liked it. He kissed her, but she leaned back. Kept leaning back, all the way, until her back lay against his thighs, her head hung back over his knees, her hair tickled his toes. He slid out of his sandals and just let her hang for a while, enjoying the view.
He pushed her shirt up and gave her a grope. No panties, no bra. Typical Lilly. She was quieter than usual today, and he tugged her back up to face him. She locked eyes with him, then moved her hips against his with that laziness he adored. It hard to tell, it was always hard to tell with Lilly when she was looking at you, and when she was letting you look, daring you to look. He'd learned to pay attention, because if you timed shit right, Lilly would miss all sorts of things.
But sometimes, she wouldn't. And right now, she was looking at something in his eyes, weighing something. When Lily thought out loud, she considered it performance art. She narrowed her eyes at him, gave that "game's afoot" grin that usually lead to a grounding for her and a few hours in the bathroom with a cold compress and some Neosporin from Carlita for him. Usually, the limp was worth it.
"Do me," she said.
He scooped her up and set her on the floor, started to give her what she wanted.
Then she said, "Do me like you'd do her." She pushed him away and scooted back until he slipped out of her, then reached up to cover his eyes. "Go on," she whispered. "How's my big boy gonna fuck that virgin pussy? Show mamma."
"Lilly."
"You be Duncan, I'll be Veronica." She crawled a few feet away, then lay back on the ivory rug and pressed her knees together. She glanced down and said, "Ignore these," as she covered her breasts.
"You're sick," he said, but he knelt next to her and couldn't help grinning while he stroked himself.
"Smell me," she said. "Go on."
He straddled her, rubbed his dick against her belly until she smacked the back of his head. "You can hump me in a minute. Smell." She arched her neck up, towards him and he nuzzled her.
He recognized the smell instantly. Actually, he'd recognized it earlier. However, this was Lilly's production, and he was a good little actor always happy to play his part. Lilly was outrageous, but there was a predictability about it that he loved. He loved her very much. After a good long snuffle, he asked "What's that you're wearing, sugar pie?"
"Before you picked me up at Veronica's, I picked up her little pink bottle of Baby Soft." She pushed him up and started to tug off her shirt. He tried to help her, but things got tangled and she stopped. She grabbed his hands, squealed "Oh, oh you're good. Yeah."
She took her t-shirt almost all the way off. The collar stayed around her neck, and the rest draped up, over her face. "Be gentle with me Duncan, it's my first time." She covered her pussy with one hand and crossed her arm over her breasts.
"She's worried about it hurting," Lilly said. "She asked me what you were like, you know?"
"Me specifically?" He got harder, and started to slide it against her thigh, against the crease between them.
"Who else am I fucking, silly?"
"I don't know." Logan watched her lips move through the thin cotton. "Can we not play a game today, Lilly?"
"Okay, you can play yourself. You'll do it better than Duncan, anyway. Two virgins, what a fucking train wreck."
"What did you tell her? About me, I mean."
"I told her what a sex god you are. Duh. I told her about this," she groped for his cock and squeezed it, stroked it. "About what a lucky girl I am."
"What did she say?"
"She said," Lilly paused and kept stroking him, kept jacking him until he had to pull her hand off and smack it. "She said she was glad she was with someone who took it nice and slow like Duncan. She said that the kind of sex we have sounds uncomfortable."
"Uncomfortable."
"Virgins, what do you want? I showed her the dildo that's your size, and she was like, nuh-uh. And I was like, uh-huh. And she was like no way."
"You showed her the black one, didn't you?"
"The doorstop I bought to scare mom? No. I showed her, you know, the one we got in San Francisco. Logan Jr's evil battery powered twin."
"And that scared her?" He tried nudging her legs apart, but she squeezed them tighter.
She said, her voice higher pitched, doing a respectable Veronica impression, "It's so big, Logan. I don't think it's going to fit in my scared little--"
"This is stupid, Lilly."
She grabbed his dick again and tugged hard. "Say it. Say 'I'll be gentle, Veronica.'"
"I'll be gentle Veronica," he said in a sing-song.
"Say 'Are you sure, Veronica?"
He leaned down and whispered into where he figured her ear was, "Are you sure you want to do this, Ronnie?"
Lilly shivered underneath him. "I think so," she said, her voice trembling. Her nipples were tight and hard and very carefully, very gently, he kissed one, then the other, then opened his lips just enough to taste her.
"Just say the word, and I'll stop, or slow down," he said as he kissed his way down her belly.
"That's good," Lilly whispered.
He kissed her hipbone, then he parted her legs just enough for him to trace the crease where her lips pressed together. Lilly usually shaved. She left a little patch up top, but her lips were beginning to grow prickly.
"Veronica would be furry, wouldn't she?" He drew letters on her lips very lightly. Lilly tried to spread her legs, but he held her.
"It took me six months to convince her to use tampons, you think she's going Brazillian?"
"Have you seen it?"
"Her bush?"
"Or you could tell me about her panties," he said, grinning. "You wanted to play."
"Would you just get to the fucking?"
"Veronica wouldn't say that." He brushed his fingertips up and down a few more times, then just his pinky. Very, very slowly, he pushed his pinky down and in, felt Lilly resist, squeeze. He twisted his ring finger in too. Gave her clit just a moment's distraction with his thumb, then pulled out and pushed in to new, tighter resistance.
Lilly wasn't a huge fan of getting her pussy licked. She liked it well enough, but she got impatient easily. Her idea of a tease involved bending over to pick something up at lunch, ass in his face, no panties at all, then dragging him off to the boys lockerroom to see if they could finish before the bell rang.
Logan licked her, spread her lips and traced the texture change between her outer lips and her inner lips. He licked down to the slickness coating his fingers as he stroked her inside, listened to her elaborate moans. She fought it when he tried to get his middle finger inside her, but when he finally won and pushed in harder than planned, she gave a real gasp.
"I'm ready for you, Duncan."
"Logan," he said, bumping her clit back and forth with his nose.
"Logan, please." She started to grab his hair and yank him up as usual, but she stopped. Then she softened her voice, put her hands on his cheeks and said very softly, "I think I'm ready now."
He kissed up to her mouth, and kissed her through her t-shirt, then he spread her knees wider.
She said, "Say you love me."
"I love you, Veronica."
"Good. Say it again."
Her lips felt bristly against the head of his cock, so he spread her and guided it up and down the softer wetness inside. He rubbed the little patch of hair she'd left top, and that made Lilly chuckle.
"Go slowly," she whispered, "but go already."
He did. He penetrated her so slowly that after a minute, he was only half in. Lilly grew tired of their game and grabbed his ass, tried to force him all the way inside. He pulled out and put a hand over her mouth. "It's okay, Ronnie, we can stop, if you want."
She shook his hand off. "You're totally going to fuck her one day."
"Would you like that?" He pushed just his tip in, then barely moved, just an inch in, then out. He did it again, and felt her wiggle back, squeeze hard to stop his entry. He pushed against her gently, not hard enough to get in, just hard enough to make her work against him. "You'd like that, hmm?"
He slid the t-shirt up to reveal her lips. He kissed her then, and with a slow, steady push, he sank into her all the way.
She gave a real little groan that was pure Lilly, and pure danger for his ability to stretch this out. "Oh baby, not right now. You'd ruin her for Duncan, then he'd bitch to me and you'd hit each other and somehow, Mom would find a way to blame me. No. Let them muddle through," she said, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Plus, my boyfriend is too wildly in love with me to even think about being with anyone else."
"Maybe." He gave her a thrust and watched as her lips stretched into a smile. "And maybe not."
"Whatever. You're so my bitch."
"I love you," he said, moving faster, harder.
"I love you, Veronica."
"I love you," he paused and stared down at the impression of Lilly's face beneath the t-shirt. His Lilly. His crazy, gorgeous girl. After kissing her through the cotton, he began to move inside her again, but much slower. "So much, Veronica. You don't know how much."
"If I die, you have to promise me something. You have to fuck her right."
"Lilly."
"Promise. You know Duncan, he won't do it like you do. She'd like it, she just needs someone to kick start--"
"You're not going to die."
"But I am too fabulous to live." He tried to pull the t-shirt off her face, but she tugged it back down. "I'll leave a beautiful corpse," she said, rocking her hips against his for emphasis, "And you'll all play some stupid Green Day song at my funeral and then," she said, "then you will fuck her properly. She'll need it."
"You're not going anywhere," he kissed her, "so stop talking."
"Promise."
"No."
"You promise me because you love me and I love her and," here she vamped it up and kept undulating beneath him, knowing exactly the effect she was having on him. "She deserves to get the best, baby, if I can't have it."
"The best?" He could feel the inevitable coming, and he tried to slow down, but Lilly bucked beneath him, dug her nails into his ass and yanked him closer.
"Tell her I gave you permission. Tell her I wanted it."
"Tell her yourself."
"I'll be gone," Lilly said.
"Shhh."
"Show me," she said. "Show me how you're going to come the first time with her."
"You'll be watching," he said, hearing the strain in his voice, "Casper the peeping ghost."
"You know it."
He was almost there, and he felt Lilly's legs slide from his waist. She lay beneath him, squeezed her pussy hard around him and made a soft whimper. "Gentle," she said with a grin. "Oh, it's so big, it hurts but it feels good, oh Logan, oh--"
He clamped his hand over her mouth, then leaned in and whispered, "I love you, Veronica." He pressed his nose to her neck and breathed her scent. He knew it earlier, before she told him about it, and yes, it had turned him on. He would never tell Lilly that. And they would never speak about this conversation again.
After a few more gentle thrusts he started to come. She slid back and pulled him out, catching his last few bursts then walking on her knees over to the white couch.
He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling as his cock made one last half-hearted spurt onto his stomach. Lilly was giggling, so he raised his head. She was writing something on the sofa, smearing the gooey mess and finishing her invisible message with an exclamation point.
"Got any more?"
He gestured at his belly, and she crawled over to scoop it up with her outstretched tongue. Then she kissed a pink lip print onto the white and cream striped sofa. "You're the best," she said, hopping to her feet and adjusting her clothes. "C'mon. Let's go shopping."
Every time he's fucked since Lilly died, she's been there, watching. Sometimes she offers running commentary. Sometimes she plays with herself. Sometimes she yawns, then disappears.
When he was next door to Veronica and Duncan, in Duncan's hotel suite, trying to fuck himself into oblivion, trying to keep his mind away from the other side of the wall, he realized Lilly wasn't there with him. He felt relieved, then sad, and fucked whats-her-name harder, focused on making her moan louder.
"She can hear you," Lilly whispered into his ear. "She's thinking about what I told her about your dick. She's thinking about what I said about how you made me feel. She's thinking about you over here while Duncan does her all respectful and gentle and bla bla bla." She yawned. "Veronica needs you, Logan, why are you in here?"
"I don't care," he grunted.
"I wish that was you in there. I'd settle for a threesome at this point."
"Yeah?"
The girl moaned. "Yeah, like that."
"You need to fuck Veronica just like that," said Lilly. "Show me." She slid her shirt up, almost off but covering her face. She started to touch her beautiful, god he missed Lilly's breasts. The chick beneath him got very expensive implants for her eighteenth birthday and he could still see the scars.
"Do it, Logan. Just like she needs. She doesn't need you to be gentle anymore. She needs a good, hard, yes. Like that. Good boy."
He finished hard, and the girl beneath him screamed and moaned and may have come. Probably faked. He didn't care. He rolled off of her and pushed away her hands when she tried to touch his chest. "Give me a minute," he said.
He became aware of the steady, soft thumping coming from the other side of the wall.
"Hands and knees, now," he said, and the girl complied.
Afterward, when Veronica was getting on her shoes next to him in the main room, he told her he loved her. He told her she belonged with him and he missed her. He told her all this his head, but what came out was, "If the cuddling's the best part, you're not doing it right."
Lilly smacked him in the back of the head.
Logan detoured during his drive home. He parked on the beach and finished the flask he filled from Duncan's mini-bar. Then he stripped, and swam away from the shore until his arms got tired. He waited and waited for Lilly to arrive, but she never did. He screamed. He screamed for her and at her, and at the moon, but she never came and after his throat got tired, he was still alone.
After a while, he started to shiver and feel stupid. He decided drowning himself lacked originality, at least for an Echolls, so he looked for the shore. Nothing but black all around him, above him only stars. Perfectly quiet and perfectly alone and he wished his buzz hadn't worn off. He tried to muster up some panic, but he'd already seen Polaris. He couldn't pretend he didn't know the right way to go.
The swim back sucked, and once out of the ocean, he passed out face down in the sand. After the beach patrol woke him, he drove home and showered. He sat in his big empty house, ate Fruit Loops and dusted off the original Mortal Kombat.
Lilly sat next to him on the couch and rolled her eyes as he ripped off head after head until his thumbs got tired.