Remedial Potions
Ginny Weasley was the only Gryffindor who didn't dread potions. In fact, she looked forward to double potions where it was three hours instead of the normal hour and a half. She was exceptional at the subject. She was generally good at every subject but she'd never gotten lower than a B on any given assignment in Snape's class and even Hermione Granger struggled to pass that class. She didn't understand why her classmates feared the potions master like they did. As long as you did your work correctly and weren't cheeky, he generally left you to yourself.
For the first four of five years Ginny was at Hogwarts, Snape hardly said three words to her. He had little to insult her about but he wasn't about to praise her -- she was a Gryffindor and a Weasley. She understood that. It was in the third week of her sixth year that she first noticed a change about him. They were making a particularly difficult healing potion. If it were made incorrectly, it would be even more fatal than the illness it was intending to correct. She sat near the back of the potions dungeon at a table to herself -- she worked better alone without a classmate to distract her -- and was concentrating intently on the cauldron before her. She added the last ingredient and the potion in her cauldron glowed golden. She expected the glow to lessen but the longer she watched the brighter it became. Suddenly Snape was at her side with an empty bottle, ladling the concoction into the glass jar and hastily putting a cork in it.
"Brilliant, Miss Weasley, just wonderful. Ten points to Gryffindor." He said, looking at the iridescent bottle that was warm in his pale hands. The class stared at him, jaws agape. He'd never given points to Gryffindor before. The Slytherins glared at her. She looked around at the other cauldrons. Some were vaguely yellow. A few were giving of a sickly green glow. In her cauldron, the glow was beginning to fade and then was gone completely. The potion inside now looked as clear as water.
"Why did it do that?" she asked Snape who had returned from his supply closet.
"It must be bottled very quickly, it has mere moments before the potency is lost." he explained in a gentle voice. She nodded her understanding.
"It breaks down in to its most basic elements, afterward, doesn't it? Hydrogen, Oxygen, perhaps Carbon because of the animal parts." she mused.
"Yes." he said. The class was still staring. He whipped his head around, his face suddenly marred by a vicious snarl. "Get back to work." he barked. He stalked back to his desk. She opened her text to read more about medicinal potions and when she looked up again, students were putting unpromising looking vials on his desks and leaving the dungeons. She packed her knapsack and moved to leave. She glanced at Snape and saw him staring intently at her. She looked down and hurried away.
She hadn't spent the summer at the burrow with her brothers and Harry and eventually Hermione. Ginny had decided to work as an intern for the ministry of magic. She got the opportunity because of her father but he worked with Muggle artifacts and she had worked in the herbology and potions lab on another floor. Mostly, she tended to plants along side Neville Longbottom. When the plants were ready, she chopped them up and stored them in labeled containers. Wizards and Witches came in and out all day, picking up orders. Sometimes she worked the front desk where she found the correct packages. Most orders were owled but some of the larger and more unstable ones were picked up in person. One week before she was due back at Hogwarts, Severus Snape billowed in to pick up an order. She jumped up when she saw him.
"Professor Snape." she greeted. She felt as if she looked a wreck -- her now waist long, wavy red hair was put haphazardly into a bun, unsafely held in place by her wand. She was in her white lab robes that were covered with various stains and her glasses that she used for reading the small print on the labels of the bottles they used were sitting on the tip of her nose. She was no longer the small, straight girl who had opened the chamber of secrets. She was taller, had grown into her figure -- she was a beautiful woman. But seeing the potions master now, out of Hogwarts, made her feel like a child, still.
"Miss Weasley," he said, "My parcel is ready, I assume?"
"Yes, let me get it for you." she said and went into the back storage room. Her face had flushed red even in the cool, stone room where packages were stored. Snape had never frightened her like other students, yet he made her uncomfortable. She respected him greatly and thought him to be a good, if somewhat strict, professor. She found that, most of all, she wanted to please him. She wanted him to think she was a good student. Maybe even like her as a person. She located the small box with the words 'Snape, Severus' written on in black ink and she brought it out to the front. "It's 12 sickles." she said. He reached into his robes and handed her the silver coins.
"This, this internship -- for you," Snape started to say. "You are very adept in potion making. I'm glad to see you are not wasting your talent." he said. She stared at him. Why, that had almost sounded like a compliment. She blinked.
"Thank you, Professor." She said. He nodded briskly and left in much the way that he had come. Silently, in a cloud of black cloth.
She was sixteen now, and was beginning to wonder what she wanted to do with her life. She would no doubt spend her summer at the ministry again and would probably be offered a job there after graduation. She liked the work but wasn't sure she wanted to do it for the rest of her life, nor did she want to work for the ministry. She didn't want to be just another red headed Weasley. She had always wanted to, someday, come back and teach at Hogwarts but she knew that Professor Dumbledore wouldn't ask just anyone to teach for him. It was nothing to rely on, the silly dream of never having to leave the castle. She supposed she still had almost two years to think about it. It was Harry, Hermione, and Ron's last year. They were still some of her closest friends at Hogwarts. She was a loner, but she didn't mind. She spent a lot of time studying with Hermione and alone. She often tutored kids, Harry included, in potions. She was better friends with Neville after they had spent the summer together.
Now, it was after dinner and most students had filtered back to their respective common rooms to study or play wizard's chess, or do whatever students did. Neville and Ginny sat side by side. Neville was writing a three foot essay on Herbology and Ginny was studiously filling out her astrology chart. She was using the charmed ceiling to look at the night's constellations. She was lucky it was clear outside, and the great hall was a lot warmer than outside. She felt a tapping on her shoulder and she looked up from her piece of parchment. It was professor Dumbledore.
"Professor." she greeted quietly, standing to face the old headmaster.
"Ginny, would you mind taking a small break and accompanying me to my office?" he asked merrily, "I'm sure Neville wouldn't mind carrying your beautiful charts back to your common room for you."
"No, of course not." Neville said, gathering up all their work and smiling as he headed out of the great hall.
"May I ask what this is about?" Ginny asked softly, walking alongside Dumbledore.
"All in good time, my dear." he said. "How are your classes this year?"
"Good. I think I'll be very prepared for my N.E.W.T.s." she said.
"Severus tells me you took an internship at the ministry." he said. She stared up at the headmaster. Snape had been talking about her to him? "Ah, here we are." They stood at the base of the Gargoyle. "Licorice Whip." the stepped on the stairs and slowly were raised into the office. She'd never been inside before. She thought it was beautiful. She was, however, startled to see Snape waiting in the center of the warm room. She felt that he was everywhere, these days.
"Hello, Professor." she said and he raised his eyebrow.
"Hello, Virginia." he greeted. She liked the way it sounded when he said her first name. He always snarled the word 'Weasley'. She felt herself start to blush and willed her pale skin to stay calm.
"Now, Severus has made a very interesting proposition and I thought that we might all discuss it." Dumbledore said, sitting in the overstuffed chair behind his desk.
"I have accepted a part-time position with the ministry of magic just for this term." Snape said, looking at Ginny. "I will be away from Hogwarts two days a week."
"I don't understand." she said. How did this involve her.
"Severus said you made a very successful healing potion the other day." Dumbledore said. "Ginny, would you be willing to teach remedial potions while Professor Snape is away?" Ginny didn't know what to think. This is definitely not what she expected.
"It's... an honor to even be asked." she said. "But, if I'm not mistaken, you teach remedial potions when I have divination." she said.
"Yes, and it is completely up to you if you wish to drop that class from your schedule. It is not required for testing, it is an elective." Dumbledore reminded her.
"Yes, please, yes." Ginny blurted and even Snape looked amused. "I'm afraid I haven't the courage of Hermione Granger where divination is concerned but I would much rather teach potions."
"Very well. Severus, you will take it from here?" Dumbledore said. "Congratulations, Ginny." She followed Snape out of the office and down to the dungeons.
"I have lesson plans for you." he said.
"Professor, I don't mean to be rude or, or ungrateful but... why ever did you choose me?" she asked.
"You are the most proficient student I have." he said. She did not push it.
"Well... thank you. You are the most proficient professor I have." she said. He looked at her, gave her the once over. She felt as if under a magnifying glass.
"I will be back the day after tomorrow. You are allowed, for remedial students and during class times only, to take or give house points and to give detentions that will be served with me. I expect you will use good judgement." he said.
"Yes, sir."
"I will help you with your grading, when I return, if you would like." he offered. They stood in the dungeons and he handed her the book of lesson plans. She looked up at him. He was looking at her almost kindly. She really did not see what was to fear about the man.
"Of course." she agreed. He did not say goodbye. She was soon alone in the classroom.
Snape had been watching her blossom for years. At first, he'd hated that his best student was a Gryffindor and a Weasley no less. But he saw no characteristics that plagued those wretched twins or Ron who followed around Potter like a lovesick dog. She was quiet, respectful, and meticulous in her work. She wasn't self-centered and careless like many of the Slytherins who showed potential. Though he would never admit it, even to himself, he thought she was breathtaking. Her skin, her red hair, her brown eyes, the was she bit her lip when she chopped ingredients or hunched her back when she was looking at something intently. When he saw her at ministry, her hair up and glasses, he thought she looked about thirty. He dreamt of her that night in a decidedly un-student like manner. He made sure never to go out of his way to see her or speak to her, but when he was needed more at the ministry and for the order, he decided that she would be, by far, the best to take over his missed classes. It was highly unorthodox and truthfully he hadn't expected Dumbledore to go along with the idea but the headmaster and loved it.
"Ginny needs something. She seems a bit, lost, doesn't she Severus." he had said. "She's a bit like you, in that way. It would do you well to befriend her, I dare say." he said.
"I do not befriend students. She is, against my hopes, the best choice." Snape had snapped.
"Oh, posh. She is excellent Snape and even you could not loathe her." Dumbledore dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "We'll tell her after dinner." And so they had. He found himself watching her. They way her hair shone. They way she wrote and walked and spoke. He looked forward to her class times and to the grading they had scheduled together. He didn't have any delusions of her having feelings toward him -- that would be silly, but for the first time ever, he had begun to think that being with someone, being with her, might be better than being alone.
Ginny was beyond nervous as she waiting in the empty dungeon for her first class to take place. She had decided to wear her lab robes over her uniform instead of her student robes. She didn't want to wear just anything but she didn't want to rub it in their face that she was a student just like them. She felt that the lab robes were a nice medium.
When her class filed in, a mix of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, they looked more relieved than anything else.
"You're all probably wondering where professor Snape is." she said. "He's away doing business, and I'll be taking over Remedial Potions for the rest of term." she said.
"Aren't you a student?" One of the Hufflepuffs asked, a second year she didn't know.
"I'm Ginny Weasley, I'm a sixth year Gryffindor." she said. "I know it's probably a bit odd to be taught by another student but I assure that I know what I'm doing. Also, I answer to professor Snape. If you earn a detention, you'll be spending it with him, not me." she said. "I don't expect any problems." she added. She waved her wand at the blackboard and the ingredient to a simple plant growth potion came on the board. "I thought we'd start of simple so I can get a gauge of where all of you are at." she said. It took a while before the students realized that it was safe to ask questions, even ones that seemed to be stupid. No one received detention or lost any house points. Most of the class turned in decent looking potions at the end of class. She assigned them a short essay.
The next day, her second class came in. In it were both Harry and Seamus.
"Oh, Harry. I thought you were doing well?" She asked. He shrugged.
"Snape hates me." he said. "I heard you were teaching this." he said. She blushed slightly.
"I think, Harry, that you more want to upset Snape then you are bad at potions. Let see if we can't get you out of here, okay?" she winked and started the class.
The next night, she was sitting in the empty classroom with a desk full of multi-colored vials and a stack of essays. She knew which potions were right and which were questionable and which were flat out wrong. She didn't know if she was supposed to judge it by color alone or did Snape actually test it one something... and if so on what? Plus, she didn't know how many points the essays were worth, it was nowhere in the lesson plans. She had read them twice. She didn't know when Snape was due back, but he had mentioned help if she needed it. His desk chair was soft, and she sat in it while she waited, working on her essay on the Troll revolution for History of Magic. The chair smelled of him. He smelled of cinnamon spice, and of the earth just after rain. He did not smell mean, or greasy, or evil. He smelled comforting and, to her, safe and solid. She didn't remember nodding off, but she heard the door open, wood scraping against stone, and opened her eyes wearily.
"Virginia, it is past curfew." he scolded, moving to stand in front of her.
"Is it?" she said, standing. "I'm sorry. I wanted to grade these but I didn't know how, and you mentioned... well, I didn't know when you'd be back." she explained.
"That's no excuse." he said. "I bid you goodnight."
"Professor, what about the grading?" she asked and he raised his eyebrow.
"Eight o'clock tomorrow." he said. She reached for her bag on the floor and he bent to pick it up for her. His sleeve stretched back and she saw a long, bleeding gash on his arm.
"Professor, you're hurt!" she exclaimed.
"It's nothing." he said, thrusting her bag at her.
"Please. I grew up with six brothers. I know how to heal scrapes." she said, pulling her wand out of her hair, so that the curls tumbled down around her, glinting in the candle light that barely lit the room.
"Miss Weasley, I assure you worse things have not killed me." But she had already grabbed his wrist and pushed the sleeve up. Her fingers burned his skin. He wanted to jerk his arm away but the look on her face was so intent and she was touching him. He couldn't bring himself to end the contact. She pointed her want at the gash and muttered the spell. His gash knit itself up and only a thin red line of dried blood remained. She ran her cool finger over the line to soothe away the last of the burning.
"There." she whispered. He looked at her, and swallowed. She gazed back, steadily.
"Ginny," he said but she just smiled.
"Good night, Professor." he watched walk away. He wasn't sure what he would have said to her anyhow.
It became a sort of pattern for them. Ginny would wait in the class room on the nights he was to return. She no longer needed help with her grading -- usually by the time he returned it sat complete in neat rows and piles on the desk waiting for his approval. But she liked to know that he returned safely and he was often hurt. He came in limping, or clutching his sides with broken ribs, or covered in burns. Ginny would take one look at him and charm him well, or make a potion to soothe the burn or knit the bones. He could have gone to Madame Pomfrey, she of course would have gotten out of bed for him, but Ginny assumed that Snape wanted all of this to remain a secret and she just wanted to help him in any way that she could.
He was mad, at first, her breaking curfew but even he had to admit she was almost as good as a mediwitch as she was in potions or herbology or anything, really.
"How did you learn all of this, Virginia?" He asked, once, when she was healing a burn on his scalp and murmuring a charm to have his burnt hair grow back to it's original length.
"I'm sure you of all people, Professor, are aware that I do not come from wealth. You learn what you need to, in a crisis, in a house full of boys." she answered softly. She reached out to touch the new hair that was falling in his eyes. She ran her fingers down it, giving it a slight tug. "Good as new, sir." she said. He reached out and placed a hand on her arm.
"You should return to your tower, now." he said but she didn't move her hand and he didn't let go. Ginny gulped and couldn't help looking at his mouth. When had she fallen for this man, why had she let her self? she was sixteen and he must be almost forty, at least, yet she they had something in common. He didn't treat her like another sniveling student and she didn't fear him or hate him. She rather liked the time they spent together, truth be told.
"Yes, sir. I should." she said. "I do hope you're taking every precaution, though, on your work for the ministry. I couldn't bear it if I should wait here and you never return." He swallowed heard and found himself nodding.
"You should take this key and wait in my office. It would be more comfortable." he said. She took the thick, ornate key he offered still warm from his pocket, to the one door in the classroom that was always locked.
"I thought you didn't want me to wait at all." she smiled. "Goodnight, Professor."
"Goodnight, Ginny." he said, after she was gone.
In her bed, with her drapes pulled around her, she wondered what it would be like to kiss him. Would he slap her? Was she reading him all wrong? Part of her longed for her to treat him just the same as the other students and part of her reveled in the special treatment. She listened carefully. Three of her roommates were gone. Hannah was probably still in the infirmary from her Quidditch accident and Susan had been sleeping in the boys dormitory since her fourth year. she hadn't a clue where Gemma was but... well, no one had questioned Ginny's whereabouts the last few weeks and so she wasn't going to pry, either. She slept a dreamless sleep.
The next week, she didn't feel well. Harry and Ron asked her repeatedly if she was all right and it was Hermione who finally marched her down the infirmary.
"I have to teach my class." she mumbled as Madam Pomfrey tucked her into the lumpy cot.
"I'll talk to Professor Dumbledore." Hermione promised.
"You have a nasty fever, Miss Weasley." Pomfrey clucked. "Drink up, drink up." She gave Ginny a sleeping potion and Ginny closed her eyes. The next day was a blur. Every time she woke up, she was made to eat some chocolate and put back to sleep. She felt weak and nauseous. She remembered Harry there, and then Ron reading a letter from their mother. She couldn't eat, and couldn't stay awake. During her third night, she heard voices, shouting just outside the closed double doors.
"Let me in!" she heard and muttering, trying to calm whoever was irate in the corridor. She tried to sit up but couldn't, and the lights were out for the night. The doors flew open and she could see someone rushing towards, her looming and dark.
"Virginia." she sighed in relief, wanting to cry. It was Snape.
"Professor, I'm so sorry I had to miss classes." she mumbled, her eyes open, but glazed.
"I came and you weren't there. I -- I was worried. I couldn't find you." he said and she swore she could hear his usually cool, calm voice break.
"I don't feel well." she said and reached out her hand to him. His face looked ashen in the pale moonlight. "Where are you hurt, Professor." she asked him, in a whisper. He looked at the tiny hand, for a moment, and then wrapped it in his own.
"Nowhere, just rest." he said. She knew he was lying but didn't think she could mend him now if she had wanted to. She closed her eyes and he made no motions to leave. He held her hand. She woke again she when the sun was rising but didn't open her eyes. She could hear footsteps and she could feel Snape still at her side.
"Severus," the voice belonged to the headmaster. "Severus, come along. We need to talk." She felt her fingers untangle from Snape's and she wanted to call out but she didn't. She kept her eyes closed and her breathing even. She listened to them go.
Ginny was desperate to know what the headmaster said to Snape. She could only imagine that Dumbledore knew there was something happening between them because Dumbledore always seemed to know everything about everything. They'd never done anything inappropriate but Ginny didn't feel for anyone else the way she felt for Snape. By dinner she was out of the infirmary and locked away in her common room trying to catch up on the class and homework that she'd missed while ill. She noticed the whispering and snickers of students passing by but she decided to ignore it. Finally Harry sat down across from her.
"Hi Ginny." he said, looking uncomfortable.
"Hullo, Harry." she responded, looking up.
"What's up?"
"Homework." she said.
"Oh, yeah. Um, hey, so I have a question." he said. "About..."
"Harry?" she asked, wondering why he was so pink, all of a sudden.
"Did you spend the night with Professor Snape?" he asked, quietly but the whole common room stopped to listen, frozen in time. Even Ron's wizarding Knight had stopped mid-blow.
"Oh, come one Harry, I've been in the infirmary." she said.
"Because Hannah said that you sometimes don't go to bed before late and you are his new apprentice, of sorts, and then we all saw him leaving the hospital wing so early and..."
"Harry Potter! You know what you can do with your rumors, your hurtful rumors? God, Harry, you of all people should be able to realize the sort of lies students spread about one another..." and suddenly she was yelling and there were tears spilling down her cheeks. Outside she was screaming that nothing was happening and inside she was whispering everybody knows! She just shook her head at everyone and gathered her things, fleeing the common room.
She felt the big, heavy key in her robe pocket. Snape wasn't away from the castle, he could be anywhere on Friday night like this. He didn't have classes in the morning. Should she risk it? She didn't care, at this point, who saw her marching angrily down to the dungeons. His classroom was empty, and when she pushed on the door to his offices, it was locked. Quietly, shuffling her bag around so nothing dropped, she inserted the key into the lock and felt the spring release. She was in.
The room was empty, and she was a little relieved. He had given her the key for specific nights and this really wasn't one of them. But the room was lit by a roaring fire in the stone fireplace and there were rugs covering the cold, stone floor. There were shelves of bottles containing ingredients, some of which she could recognize, others which were completely foreign to her. It must have been his private collection. There was a large, ornate, wooden desk stained black with carvings of snakes and snakes for the feet. Behind it was a large winged back chair in a pale green. Sometimes she forgot how -- how Slytherin he truly was. There was another big chair in the corner next to an empty round table and this is where she deposited her things and sat down to work in peace. She was nearly complete when she heard his footsteps coming. She started to panic but there was nothing she could do. She had run the risk of him coming to his own office and now she had to wait and see if he would be angry, or not. He hardly even got angry at her and he did, after all, give her his key. She hadn't seen him since Dumbledore had led him away, and she had pretended to sleep. The door opened. She had forgotten to lock it.
"I do hope it's you, Miss Weasley, for if someone has broken into my office, they shall swiftly be expelled." she heard his voice before she saw his face.
"It's me, Professor." she said, a little too brightly. He was looking at her now with a sort of sad, soft gaze,
"You shouldn't be here." he said.
"I had no where else to go." she begged. "I -- you sat with me all night."
"Yes."
"And then Dumbledore took you away and... and he knew, didn't he?"
"Yes." he said again. "He strongly cautioned me against... temptation." Snape said, moving to his desk and sitting down.
"I wanted to be here when you got back. I love to be here when you get back but I was ill and I couldn't... I never meant to worry you." she said, still curled in the big chair, her work all but forgotten.
"I thought that... well, no matter." he said.
"Thought that what, Professor?" she pried.
"I thought perhaps you were through with me." he said, looking into the fire.
"Never." she whispered. He looked down at his hands, his reflection in the window.
'I'm too old for you." he said. "I'm too old and you, you should go."
"Professor please, please." she said. "Let me stay." He stared at her, her red hair wild in the fire light, her face small and hopeful and so pretty. She was so pretty. But it was her brain, her precision, her dedication that he was in love with.
"In this room... there are rules. You are a student and I your teacher and we never, ever can forget that, do you understand me?" she nodded, suddenly fearful. He had such power. "But in this room, if you would like, you can be Virginia and I can be Severus and we will be friends." he offered.
"Friends." she repeated.
"Nothing more." he said and she nodded. For now.
Ginny tried not to abuse -- to overstay her welcome in Snape's office. The rumors could not be stopped, especially now that she spent so much time in the dungeons. People whispered things. The Ravenclaws called her a teacher's pet and the Slytherins called her the teacher's slut and the Gryffindors just looked betrayed. She was relieved when Christmas holiday came. She wanted to stay at the castle, to have Hogwarts mostly to herself, but she knew she had to go home. Her family expected her. She just prayed Ron, and inevitably Harry, wouldn't mention how Ginny had been choosing to spend her time, as of late.
The last day, she stood in her chambers, shrinking her trunk down to a more manageable size when Professor McGonagall tapped on her door.
"Ah good, you're still here." she said, smiling unsurely at the youngest Weasley who was not so young anymore.
"Just barely. The train leaves soon." Ginny said, hefting her smaller trunk into a duffel bag and throwing it over her narrow shoulder.
"I'll walk you out, then." McGonagall said and Ginny had no choice but to agree. "I think time away from the castle will be good for you, dear." she started.
"Yes," Ginny agreed, automatically.
"And now that the term is over, you don't have to teach -- not that we aren't grateful -- but you can focus more on your studies." Ginny had never heard her head of house hedge around a subject like this before.
"Has my grade slipped in your class, professor?" Ginny asked, somewhat icily.
"Well, no..." she admitted.
"I appreciate your concern, professor, but I think there has been enough collective attention on my actions for one term." she said, her biting words saccharin. She hated to be rude to a professor that she respected so greatly, but enough was enough. She climbed into the horseless carriage and McGonagall watched her ride away.
She sat in a compartment with Ron, Harry, and Hermione. They had saved her a seat. She had not said goodbye to Snape before boarding the Hogwarts Express. She had wanted to, of course, but knew not to toe the line that they were always dangerously close to crossing.
At the burrow, her mother hugged her for minutes, refusing to let go. She hadn't seen her since receiving word of her illness.
"Mum, please." Ginny said, embarrassed by the attention.
"Ginny, you look so much older." her mother commented, holding her face in her hands. "But after all, you were a professor." Ginny blushed.
"You heard about that?" she asked.
"Severus told me himself at the order meeting." her mother said.
"Severus..." Ginny whispered. "What else did he say?"
"Yes, what ever else did dear Severus say?" asked Ron, bitterly.
"Oh, I know you children dislike professor Snape but he does good, dangerous work for the order." Molly scolded. Ginny knew this to be true. She prayed for a subject change while glaring fiercely at her brother.
At dinner, Ginny didn't speak. Christmas break would be lasting forever. She didn't want to upset her parents, though, or the twins or Bill or Charlie when the arrived. No one spoke of Percy. It was easy to get lost in a place like the burrow. No one paid much attention to her until Christmas morning when the flurry of opening presents was almost through.
"You have one more, Ginny." her father said, handing her a tall, skinny box.
"From who?" she asked, looking around at her large family.
"It came by owl last night. I figured a friend from school sent it." her dad said. "There wasn't a note, just a bit of parchment with your name on it." She knew, instantly, it was from Severus. She didn't want to open it there, in the living room, but everyone was watching and waiting. Her hands trembled as she removed the paper. A bottle was inside, full of blue liquid. A potion. She pulled out the cork and a billow of smoke rose out of it. First the smoke formed into the shape of a lion which roared, and then a snake formed from the smoke and wrapped itself around the lion, hissing softly. The lion lay down with the snake and both went to sleep, contentedly, and then the smoke dissipated. The bottle was empty. It was a beautiful symbolic interpretation of Gryffindor and Slytherin putting aside their differences and becoming friends. Or falling in love, as the case may be.
"That's it! It's enough! I am your older brother and I will NOT stand for that oily, greasy, disgusting man soiling my little sister!" Ron yelled. Ginny looked up at him, too shocked to do anything. He wasn't joking, he looked outraged. "Mum, dad, you HAVE to know what's been happening."
"Ron, no." Ginny said, finding her voice.
"Ginny, it's not right." Ron said.
"You don't even know if any of it's true." Harry said, tugging on Ron's sleeve so he would sit down.
"Know any of what? What's going on?" Molly asked, upset.
"Well let's find out what's true, right now." Ron said.
"Ronald Weasley, what are you going on about?" Molly yelled again. Ginny had her head in her hands.
"Snape! Snape is what I'm going on about. Ginny is always down in the dungeons with him, always teaching his classes or watching him at meals. He sat with her ALL night in the infirmary when she was sick." Ron said. "And who do you think could be able to make a potion that complex? Snape. And sending it to our home? It's just sick! He's totally infatuated with her." he said. All heads swivelled to look at Ginny.
"Ginny, dear?" Her father asked. "Is any of this true?"
"I -- It's not what it looks like." she started lamely. She didn't want to do this in front of everyone. No one, however, was going anywhere. "He asked me to teach his Remedial Potions class two days a week, is all, and he helps me with the grading sometimes." she said. "Maybe I have been down in the dungeons more but he hasn't done anything wrong, I swear it." Ginny was determined not to cry and to stick up for herself properly.
"What about when you were sick?" Ron asked.
"What about it, Ron?" she asked, sharply. "No one has ever taken any time to try to get to know him."
"Why should we? He's evil. He hates me." Harry said.
"He hates your father, Harry, and you know it. Besides, you aren't doing anything to change that perception, are you? If you respected him even an ounce he might not act out so harshly toward you." she said. Harry looked stricken and then angry. He was touchy about his parents and with good cause but he knew she was somewhat right after his occulmency lessons in his fifth year.
"Okay, enough." Molly said. "Let's not ruin Christmas with this." she said, looking at Ginny. Everyone slowly dispersed. Ginny took her empty bottle and stormed up to her room. It wasn't long before she heard her mother's tired knock on her door. Some day, Ginny thought, I won't have to come home for the holidays any longer. Her mother came into the room where Ginny sat sullenly on the bed. "I think we need to have a chat, don't you?" She said.
"Everyone wants to have a chat with me, like I can't take care of myself." Ginny said, but she was tired and her statement didn't have the spitfire that it held downstairs.
"Well, for my sake, why don't you just start from the beginning?" her mother said, sitting next to her.
"The beginning is I am good at potions, something that isn't a secret by the way, and when Severus had to leave to do God knows what for the order, he asked me to teach remedial potions." she realized her mistake too late.
"Do you often call your professors by their first names?" her mother asked.
"It isn't... it isn't like that. You have to believe me. I would never do anything to jeopardize me or him or the school. I'm not stupid or a silly love struck girl. I just understand him and happen to be good at potions and why, why can't we leave it at that?" she begged. Her mother looked unconvinced.
"For now, because I don't want to ruin the holiday." she said. "Come downstairs for breakfast."
"I will when you can get Ron to control himself." she muttered. She knew it would never happen though and now she'd gone and pissed off Harry as well. She went to the window and stared out, wondering what Severus was doing. She found a spare bit of parchment and wrote him a quick note.
S --
Received your package and thought it was beautiful. Perhaps you'll teach me to do that someday? Wish I had stayed at the castle,
V
She woke Errol who often slept in her room for it was the quietest and tied the note to his leg. He nipped her shoulder affectionately and soared out the window.
Errol flew in just as the sun was getting ready to rise. She opened her eyes sleepily when she heard him tapping against the glass and she unlatched the window to let him in. There was a note tied to his leg and she could barely get it off, he was so excited. He flew into his cage and drank water happily. Ginny unrolled her note.
V --
The holiday has past. What is keeping you from returning a few days early? Take the floo into the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmede and I'll be there to fetch you.
S
She stared down at the note. He made it seem so easy. Just go back to Hogwarts early if she wanted to. She could leave before her family even woke and leave a note on the kitchen table. He seemed so sure of himself in his note, that she would come. Decisively, she started packing her trunk. She floated it carefully downstairs and nearly dropped it with a huge crash when she saw her mother sitting at the kitchen table.
"Mum, you scared me half to death." she whispered, disappointed she was caught.
"Going somewhere?" Molly asked, and Ginny lowered her trunk gently.
"I was going to go back to school." she said.
"I thought you might." Molly admitted.
"Well, you know how crowded is here and I thought 'Hey, miss the Hogwarts Express traffic' and such." Ginny said, staring down at her shoes, out the window, anywhere but her mother's face.
"Ginny, you're a woman now and you're beautiful and I just want you to think about what you're doing. No one is every going to accept a relationship with a professor and with a misunderstood man like Snape." Molly pleaded.
"I know it's not going to be easy." Ginny said and it was the first time she admitted to someone that there was, in fact, something between them. "But if you don't let me go now, you're going to lose me just like Percy." she said quietly. Her mother's face fell.
"Then I have no choice." Molly said. "I love you, Ginny. Let me know you get there safely, okay?" Ginny smiled, relieved, and nodded.
"I will." She stepped into the fireplace next to her trunk and took a hand full of floo powder. "Three Broomsticks, Hogsmede!" she said and was engulfed by the green flames. They tickled slightly but cleared away soon enough. The pub wasn't open yet. There were chairs turned over on all the tables. her trunk fell down unceremoniously next to her and she jumped. Snape wasn't in sight but she didn't think he would be, this early. She gathered her trunk and went out the front door, charming it locked behind her. The village was still sleeping and she looked around for a moment, chilled in the snow. Usually, she took a train to Hogsmede but she knew there was a tunnel from the shrieking shack to somewhere on the school grounds. Rather than trudge miles in the snow towards where she thought Hogwarts was, she headed towards the abandoned shack. It wasn't long before she saw a dark figure coming towards her. It was Snape. She waiting for him to come to her, her trunk bobbing behind her.
"Hello." she said, a little out of breath, her face red from the cold.
"Hello, Virginia." he said. He was in his normal robes with big snow boots and a Slytherin scarf. She was in jeans and her grey sweater with a big 'G' on it, her latest Christmas sweater, and her Gryffindor scarf. They were quite the mismatch pair. He opened the door to the shack for her and she ducked in. The place was a wreck and the tiptoed over all the wreckage to the door that led to the tunnel. Once inside the dark, moist tunnel, Snape reached for her hand and wove his fingers with hers. Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest.
"Severus?" she said, her voice echoing against the stone.
"Yes?" he asked, turning to look down at her.
"Does it feel wrong to you?" she asked. He considered the question carefully.
"No. I know that it may seem inappropriate but it doesn't, to me, feel wrong." he said.
"It doesn't feel wrong to me, either." she said. They could see the light at the end of the tunnel. "Where does this come out?" she asked.
"The base of the Whomping Willow." he said.
"Are you trying to get us killed?" she asked, shrilly.
"Relax." he said. They stood at the base and he pushed against a knot at the exit. The movement of the branches ceased. He started to move out but she held him back.
"Will you... will you kiss me first?" she asked. He looked mildly surprised.
"We shouldn't." he said but he was already leaning towards her.
"Just as friends." she whispered and then his lips were warm against hers and his nose pressed into her cheek and his hair fell into her eyes and his tongue pressed into her mouth and she was lost. She couldn't breathe and she pressed herself closer too him, letting his arms wrap around her. She could have kissed him forever but he pulled away and smoothed his robes.
"You try me." he said, his breath shaky. "You try me in every way, Ginny." She touched her lips lightly, her cheeks red. He pushed the knot again and walked out into the brisk, winter air. She followed behind him dumbly, her knees like jelly. Inside the castle, she could see a few students in the Great Hall but the place was still mostly empty. She felt happy to be back. Snape set her trunk down where a house elf would return it to her dorm and looked at her.
"Are you hungry?" he asked. She nodded. "I'll have the elves bring breakfast to my office, how does that sound?" he asked. He was being so gentle, like he didn't want to scare her off after such a stolen moment. She nodded again.
"Sounds wonderful." she said and followed him down to the dungeons. They didn't talk about the kiss or what it meant or who knew she was back or if Dumbledore was away or there or anything. He simply summoned an elf, told him what he wanted, and soon enough a table full of food appeared in the warm office. "You make me brave." she said, over an end of meal cup of tea.
"Do I?" he asked, over the brim of his cup.
"Yes. It would have never occurred to me to just leave the burrow. Just go." she said. "And then you made it seem so easy."
"You are the master of your own fate." he said.
"Ron... well, everyone saw the potion with the lion and the snake. Everyone saw it and Ron kind of threw a fit and then my mother and everyone and I told them that I just graded papers with you but, really, it could have gone better." she admitted. Snape sighed and looked into his fire.
"We can't have moments like that when school starts. There is a long time until you graduate and I will always have been your professor." he reminded her. "It doesn't matter how strongly I feel for you." she didn't respond. She already knew all of that. She yawned and he smiled fondly at her. "You're exhausted and it's barely seven o'clock." he said.
"I've already had quite an eventful morning." she said. "Perhaps I should go lay down."
"I have some work to do. If you would like, you could go right through that door or, if you'd rather, return to your tower but I will be here all day." he said, pointing at anther wooden door, partially hidden by a hanging tapestry. She bit her lip. She had a pretty good idea where that door lead and she knew she should return to Gryffindor tower but she simply didn't want to. She walked towards the door and pulled it open. Inside was an outer sitting room and through an open archway, she could see his four-poster bed, covered in a black, silk comforter. "Go on," he urged. "Rest." she turned to look at him and gave him a small, somewhat lustful smile and pulled the door closed behind her. His private chambers had the same spicy, earthy smell that made her dizzy. Across from the bed was a big wooden closet and she pulled open doors and drawers until she found what she was looking for. She slipped out of her clothes and pulled on the white dress blouse and slid into his bed.
It was past noon when she woke up. She wasn't sure what woke her at first, but it felt like someone was watching her. She sat up, brushing her hair out of her face, and looked around. He was so quiet and still that she missed him at first, sitting in the dark corner of his bedroom. But she looked again, and there he was, watching her sleep.
"Severus?" She asked, pushing the warm comforter off of her and padding towards him, his white blouse hanging down around her knees.
"Please, don't come any closer." he said and she stopped, a little confused. Maybe he was angry she had raided his closet. She pulled the shirt closer around her.
"Is everything okay?" she asked.
"You are exquisite just how you are, just like that." he said. She smiled and gathered her hair up in her hands.
"It's a bit long, really." she said and tied it into a knot. "I should..."
"Yes." he said. "And no. You should go, but no one knows you're back." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "We're not doing a very good job of this, are we?"
"Well, here I am in your shirt in your bedroom. I guess it depends on what your definition of 'good job' is." she said, smirking. "But I am going to go." she said. She turned around and gathered her clothes, pulling on her jeans and her robes right over the shirt. He made an audible gulping noise but she just left without another word. She stopped at the girl's lavatory just outside the potions classrooms and dressed properly.
Back in her tower, she took the hidden shirt out of her robes. She pressed her face in it and took a deep breath. It smelled like him and her combined -- a scent she thought she could get used to. Her own bed, in comparison, looked small and cold. She knew leaving his chambers was the right choice. The tension in there was palpable. She loved him, she was sure, and she wanted him, but she just wasn't willing to risk losing Hogwarts for either of them.
Sighing, she gathered her homework and study materials and sat alone by the fire in her common room. When it was time for dinner, she went down, making her presence known. McGonagall was there but Dumbledore wasn't and neither was snape though she didn't expect him to show. He wasn't that social.
She ate alone at the end of the table. There were only about fifteen students there and most were Hufflepuffs. There were three other young Gryffindors. She could feel McGonagall watching her, probably wondering why she was back before Harry and Ron. She left soon after. Ginny didn't realize how dull school could be at the holidays. All she wanted to do was to go back to the dungeons but knew better. She decided to put on her winter things and go for a walk around the grounds -- perhaps see if Hagrid was in his hut. The ground was covered with snow and it crunched icily under her feet. She walked along the edge of the lake for a while, and peered down at Hagrid's hut but it was dark and there was no smoke coming from the chimney. She was starting to shiver -- the cold had done a good job of cooling her heated skin. She headed for the castle, the darkness taking over the landscape.
Inside, she walked to the kitchens to see if she could get a cup of hot chocolate. Apparently, she wasn't the only one.
"Ah, Miss Weasley." Dumbledore greeted.
"Hullo, headmaster." she said, shyly. "I didn't see you at dinner."
"No, I just got back and the elves are being so kind as to fix me a little something. Would you like anything?" he asked.
"Hot cocoa, if it isn't too much of a bother." Ginny said and two elves came scurrying out with a tray of food for Dumbledore and a mug for Ginny. She took the mug.
"Just have that sent to my office." he told the elf kindly and he vanished before their eyes. "Why don't you join me." he said, and she almost choked on the hot liquid. This was it. He knew. He knew everything and she knew she was completely in the wrong and she didn't think she could lie to such a kind, old wizard. She started to panic. "Ginny, it's okay." he said and led her towards the Gargoyle. In his office, she sat in the chair opposite his desk, still feeling dizzy. She had started to hyperventilate in anticipation of what the Headmaster was going to ask her.
"I'm sorry." she said.
"Whatever for?" he asked, eating a sliced up apple drizzled in caramel.
"For acting the way that I did by the kitchens. For, for being good at potions and agreeing to teach that class." she said. "I know that you've heard the rumors but I beg you, please don't fire him or expel me, please." she said and she could feel hot tears running down her cheeks.
"Do you think anyone's behavior warrants a dismissal?" he asked, seriously. She shook her head.
"No, of course not. He's done nothing wrong. He had been kind and given me an opportunity to teach." she smiled. "You must know that the students don't particularly like him."
"So I've gathered." Dumbledore said. "I've known Severus Snape a long time and while some say he lacks that certain beside manner, he is most talented." Dumbledore said. Ginny blushed, thinking of Snape's bedside. She'd never heard of another student seeing a professor's chambers. She guessed that his were away from where most of the Professors lived, that he created the space in the dungeons for himself.
"I feel like I've known him a long time. He is not the type to -- connect easily with others and so when he does I think it's really important that he not lose that." she said, trying to articulate herself clearly. He nodded in agreement.
"You seem to be at an impasse then, Miss Weasley." Dumbledore said. "You want your friendship with a professor to stay strong yet you are worried that it is inappropriate for a student to befriend a professor at all."
"Something like that." she murmured. "I need some options." she said.
"Yes, you do." he stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Why don't I think about it, for awhile and see what I can come up with." he offered. She nodded, grateful for his kindness and delicate handling of the situation. He was not angry nor did he jump to any rash conclusions. "Ginny, I know what lovesick teenage girls look like. I hired Gilderoy Lockhart myself, you may remember, and I would not help one of those girls in the way that I'm helping you, do you understand?" he asked.
"You see the difference, then?" she asked.
"I've seen all of the Weasley children pass through this school." he said. "I saw the difference the first day you stepped foot inside." he said. "Not to speak poorly of your brothers, but you, my dear, you are the diamond in the rough, so to speak." She smiled at him, her eyes teary.
"Thank you." she said. His eyes twinkled with wisdom.
"You are, as always, most welcome." Some time had passed and Ginny felt tired after confessing so much to the headmaster. She wasn't, sleepy, however and didn't feel like being alone in her dormitory. She wished Hermione or somebody was there. She wished for a girl friend that she could confide in. She decided to go to the library and try to find something light and humorous to read. She pushed open the heavy doors and peered into the poorly lit library. It was deserted and so she wandered along the stacks, trailing her finger along the bindings of books, looking for something interesting. She heard the library doors open and walked back towards the entrance to see who was coming in. Her heart skipped a beat.
"Hello." She said.
"Hello." Snape replied. They stared at each other. "This is silly." he said.
"I agree." she said. "I'm trying to find something to entertain myself when all I really want to do is go see you." she said.
"I'm brewing, preparation for this term. Just basic stuff, really, but things I'll need in bulk. I really could use someone who knows what they are doing, if you'd like to help." he said.
"Sure." she said and he quickly got the book he came for and she followed him out of the library. "I spoke with Professor Dumbledore today." she said carefully, wondering if she should just keep the conversation to herself. She didn't like keeping things from him, though. She felt like telling him everything, especially things which involved him.
"I thought he would have returned by now." Snape said, neutrally.
"He called me a diamond in the rough." she said. "He offered to help me."
"Help you do what?" he asked.
"I'm not really sure. Help me to love you and not lose Hogwarts all at the same time." she said. "I didn't meant to tell him anything but he already knew."
"He has always been insufferably knowledgeable about the most private of affairs." Snape said. He opened the classroom door and let her walk in first. She perched on the edge of his desk and he stood in front of her. "Did you really mean that?" Snape asked, as an after thought.
"Mean what?" Ginny asked.
"That you love me?" he said. He did not look like a grown man or respected professor but the young student who had been hurt all those years ago.
"I'm afraid so." she said, in almost a whisper. "I tried not to, I did, but I can't seem to help it. It just keeps spilling out of me. You're all I want, Severus, and I can't have you now, at least for a year and a half, and I'm afraid I won't ever be able to have you." she said. He reached out and put his hands on her cheeks which were warm under his cool skin.
"I've never loved anyone before now." he admitted. Ginny smiled, relieved to hear him say it too. "I've lived at Hogwarts for a long time, Virginia. A long time." he said.
"What are you saying?" She asked.
"I do have a life outside of this school. I needn't stay her forever." he said. "I could leave. We could be together." She couldn't believe he was offering this to her. "I could work full-time for the ministry or not work at all, it doesn't matter." she felt overwhelmed at what he was offering her. This was no longer secret looks or stolen kisses. This was a real relationship, a real life. She tilted her head up and brought her lips to his. A gentle kiss.
"We'll have to think about this." she said. He nodded, respecting her levelheadedness when he himself just wanted to grab her hand and head for the hills. And then she did something to him that hadn't happened in as long as he remembered. She pulled him close and put her arms around him. She hugged him, laying her cheek against his chest. He hugged her back. She smelled like flowers in the spring time, like life itself. She didn't let go for a long time.
At the end of her sixth year, Ginny had a choice. Well, she had a few. She could continue at Hogwarts like she'd always done with nothing changing or she could go spend the summer at Snape manor and have a new potions teacher in the fall. Or, she could continue the illicit relationship she had started with Snape and always be dancing at the edge of being caught. She couldn't live with the pressure of how things were now, though. Every time she kissed him, she was listening for footsteps or voices, praying no one would catch them. Dumbledore pretty much looked the other way in regards to just how much time Ginny spent in the dungeons but she knew there would be a point where he would have to take action and that was the more physical side of their relationship. If anyone were to find out that Ginny snogged the potions master on a regular basis, it would mean the end.
She knew she didn't want to go home to the burrow for an entire summer. She had outgrown her childhood home. If she decided to work at the ministry again, she would take a small flat in London. If she decided to stay with Severus, though, she would have the whole summer to decide if what she felt for him was real. If she didn't go, she might always regret it. She knew, though, she knew she could not take another year of waiting. It either had to work or it had to end. This limbo was eating her alive.
So when she set down her quill after finishing her last exam, she went to her room, packed her things and waited for Severus to lead her where he would. She didn't take part in the celebration of Ron, Harry, and Hermione's graduation. They were her friends but she never was truly part of that group. So while they celebrated and the Hogwarts express left punctually for platform 9 3/4 at Kings Cross Station, Ginny was walking softly down to the dungeons where Severus was packing his things. She had her trunk behind her and he broke into a relieved smile when she came in. They climbed into the fire place and he said in a booming voice,
"Snape manor!" The green flames engulfed them and she felt his hand grab hers. She wasn't scared though, just excited and confident in the choice she had made.