For All Have Sinned
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
1. Samantha -- The Tenth Commandment
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, God told Moses.
He said nothing about coveting your neighbor's husband.
You know your logic is wrong, that it's the act of coveting that's referred to, that the object being coveted is almost insignificant.
Almost.
There is nothing insignificant about Jack Malone, and if coveting him condemns you to hell, so be it. You've never cared much for God anyway and when Jack worships your body in the moonlight, you're already in heaven.
What did Moses know anyway? He got the Israelites lost in the desert.
Thou shalt covet to thy heart's content.
2. Jack -- Not In Love
You can't help yourself. You think about her when you're not supposed to (she's even in your dreams) and you almost slip up one morning and address your wife by her name.
And you wonder if this is just a mid-life crisis or if it's something more.
You tell yourself you don't love her (you can't), that this is just about the sex, but you still don't understand what she sees in you.
This is not love, because if it is, you're screwed.
When she smiles at you, you forget what you're thinking. You smile back and think of tonight.
3. Samantha -- Just Once
You envy Marie. She has what you never will: his children, his name, his ring. You wonder if she realizes how lucky she is, how blessed. She's living your dream and you hate her for it.
You envy her peace. She sleeps easy at night, believing that Jack loves only her. She knows he'll always be there when she wakes up in the morning.
Bitch.
Just once, you want Jack to stay with you. Just once, you want him to choose you over her.
But you know that's never going to happen. You lose again.
The story of your life.
4. Jack -- Screwed
You want to kill him. He hurt your Samantha (put a fucking bullet through her leg!) and almost let her bleed to death. Does he know what being shot feels like? You'll be only too happy to show him.
Asshole.
If he didn't have a gun to your head, you'd have your hands around his neck, choking his last breath out of him. Bastard deserves to suffer.
If she had been dead when you walked in, you would not even be having this conversation right now.
Fuck.
Your Samantha? Did you just call her your Samantha?
You are so screwed.
5. Samantha -- Everybody's Fool
You knew this day would come, knew that sooner or later it really would be over. There is nothing you can do.
There never was. You were doomed from the start.
Idiot.
You won't let him see you weak. And you'll be damned before you let him see you cry. The masochistic part of you even helps him pack.
Stupid.
When he says goodbye, all you can think of is his lips on yours, his hands on your skin, how good he feels inside you . . .
How your heart is breaking.
What were you thinking?
The problem is, you weren't.
Fool.
6. Jack -- Feast
You'll indulge yourself once more, you think. You can't help it. You're addicted. You've been going mad for want.
She gives herself to you freely, as she always has. There's something different about this time.
It hits you: it's the last time.
Not like any of the other so-called last times. You'll never see her again.
Never.
This is the last time you'll kiss her, touch her, look at her, hold her, hear her laugh, and make her smile . . .
You're not sure what you'll do without her in your life. All you can do is close your eyes, and feast.
7. Samantha -- Fade
He lets himself out. You stay in bed and listen as his footsteps fade away.
What now?
The office won't be the same without him. The team won't be the same.
You won't be the same.
Right now you don't care. You curl up into a ball, your pillow clutched to your chest. It's okay to cry now - no one is here to see you.
That thought makes you cry even harder.
You decide you'll start getting over him tomorrow. Today is for you.
Yet you have a suspicion that all the tomorrows in the world could never be enough.
8. Jack -- Penance
You're sure you're dreaming.
Then, slowly, you realize you're not.
Some part of you knows you should be upset, hurt, even angry, betrayed.
You feel free.
So what if your life's a mess and your career's is all jumbled up?
Your wife wants a divorce.
You have a chance to make it right.
It's been so long since you've had to romance anyone, you wonder if you still know how. You can only pray that she'll take you back.
You buy flowers (daisies, her favorite) and take the stairs two at a time.
You knock on the door, and wait.
9. Samantha -- Sorry
He's not really there, you think. God has never answered your prayers before, so why would he start now?
If this were real, he wouldn't have flowers. You'd be in bed already.
This is not real, because your tears were.
And then he explains.
You pinch yourself, just to be sure. Imagine that. You're not dreaming this.
You let him in, put your flowers in water, make tea. He orders Chinese, and makes himself at home on the couch.
And you talk, really talk, for the first time.
You think you might be okay after all.
Who would have thought?
10. Jack -- Absolution
You make love slowly. You want to savor each moment.
She runs her fingers through your hair, pulling you closer to her. You take one of her breasts in your mouth, tasting her as if for the first time. You palm her other breast, playing with her hardening nipple. She is warm underneath you. Warm, soft and oh, so ready. You part her legs with your hand.
She whimpers.
Settle between her thighs, teasing her. She raises her hips, pants your name. You surrender.
She wraps her legs around your waist. Her rhythm matches yours exactly.
You're a perfect fit.