Pretty Simple
Life used to be pretty simple in my early teens. I went to school. I shopped. Studied. Gossiped. I partied with friends, and whomever I happened to be seeing at the time. And then one day, in the local mall, my life was forever changed. Of course, I didn't realise it until a few weeks later when he showed up at my school.
I can't really explain why I trusted Merrick from the start, I mean let's face it, he was a tad creepy. But there was something deeper, something almost familiar about him. I miss him, still. There are times, when it's real quiet and I'm laying in bed that I think of him, and in my mind change the outcome of his death. Don't get me wrong, I love Giles and wouldn't trade him in for the world, but you never forget your first Watcher. Or at least I assume that's true. Come to think of it, Faith and I may be the only Slayers who've had more than one Watcher. I've got to ask Giles about that.
"The rest is silence." Merrick taught me that, long ago. A couple of lifetimes ago, really. During my first big show-down at Hemery High with Lothos, I knew what he meant by that. I knew it so completely. After transferring to the Hellmouth, I realised how wrong I'd been. I thought Merrick was refering to that one fight. He wasn't. There's been a lot of silences. Too many. My first death. Killing Angel. Mom's death. My second death. Silence and death. Death and silence. In my life, you get one with the other.
I never should've come back. I don't understand how Willow and the others were able to pull me from Heaven. As much as I love my friends and sister, a part of me will never forgive them.
I want my silence back.