It's Just A Little Prick, And Then It's Over...
It was a bad day for Buffy. After being late for two weeks and a positive pregnancy test, she thought it was time to go to her doctor. Maybe the Mayor did try to bring an end the world as we know it, but he did give everybody free health care, even if it didn't include paid in full family planning.
None of the other Scoobies seem to care. Not even Willow and Xander.
Willow had freaked out the night before and turned her biology professor into a horse. He now knows it isn't wise to give that gal an A-! She spent the day breaking down after Tara dumped her again for using dark magic. That didn't mean she didn't give Buffy an earful of advice. "Hate gays, make an obviously straight TV character who is pretending to be gay straight again, read sexist magazines like Maxim, beat women, murder babies. It's all connected! Buffy, you can't do this! I won't let you! Maybe I should cast a spell on you too! Uh huh, I'd turn you into a big, nasty, smelly horse! Not that horses aren't nice, majestic, noble creatures that..."
*click*
Xander was off in Las Vegas gambling away his father's life insurance money with Anya and Giles.
"I can make sure the father is permanently impotent! Actually, I can do that right now and get back before the next craps game begins."
Anya was always a pillar of support in her own strange way, but that doesn't mean her support was actually helpful.
"Abortion, yeah! Whoo hooo, no nasty, swollen, pregnant Buffy to destroy my fantasies."
Buffy tried hard not to swear at Xander.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Buff. What I mean to say is, abortion is cool with me. It keeps the hot chicks from getting boobs and stretch marks, ya know?"
Giles wisely took the phone out of Xander's hand before he could further put his foot in his mouth.
"Buffy, I want you to know that we'll be back soon. I think we should discuss this then, that is, if you want to, all right? Quite frankly, I don't think the others are old enough to understand."
The only person left was Tara. These were the days that Buffy needed Joyce the most, but since that horrible part of her life, Tara had been like a surrogate mother to her and Dawn.
Oh god, Dawn. She had a fit when she heard Buffy making an appointment here today. Far from understanding the complexities of life as an adult, all she could think about was how cool it would be to have a niece.
"I will change the diapers, if that's what is worrying you."
If only she could have been that dumb at Dawn's age. Buffy wished for a lot of things, but to be 16 again would be at top of things there. That, or maybe snapping Warren's neck when she had the chance. Having Willow reprogram the Aprilbot to do the deed would have been so much easier than this.
"Sweetie, Dawn loves you. She's just a kid; she can't understand what it must be like. Don't apologize to her, it is your choice."
In many ways, she thought Tara was even better to have next to her than Joyce. At least with Tara there was no judging. She lay her head down on Tara's shoulder as the bus took them across town the new university hospital facility. Too bad this place had to be next door. If it was inside, the protestors would have a hard time getting close.
Dawn's words continued to echo in her head. She was shocked how her sister would repeat the words that people at school said without bothering to look into them.
"But.... yeah. Buffy, you're a baby killer! You're gonna go to Hell for this. Besides, Melinda said they can feel rain when you go outside, imagine what they will feel when they turn on the vacuum!"
"I didn't even think you believed in Hell, Dawn."
"Well, no, but you were in Heaven, so why not?"
"Dawn, look, I'm the Slayer, I can't have a baby. Besides, you don't actually think I want to do this, do you? You can't be that clueless."
"Well, if you don't want to do it, then don't."
"I have to! Like the time I saved the world and you by jumping off that tower."
"Times like these, I wish you pushed me off. BABY KILLER! You really need to see The Silent Scream. My sociology teacher will let me borrow it to you show you. The poor thing screams when it's yanked out! SCREAMS! Like this.... ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH."
Come to think of it, Dawn would have made a similar sound falling off the tower. Shame Buffy didn't really go through with that plan.
The local Planned Parenthood clinic was white and sterile looking on the inside. The asshole protestors were there on the outside as usual, waving around their obscene signs with maxims like "Abortions Make Baby Jesus Cry" and lovely pictures of mutilated fetuses in plain display of children marching along with their parents. One particularly rank protestor, who looked like a female Homer Simpson screamed in her face.
The temptation to use her Slayer powers to throw the whole lot of them out into the street was too great, so rather than stick around, Tara and Buffy pushed there way through the crowd.
The waiting room was barren, save for a few holiday themed magazines that Joyce used to read. Tara kept a hold of Buffy's hand the whole time. Buffy kept thinking how stupid it was of her to have a one night stand with a loser like Warren. Though she couldn't prove it, she had a feeling that she might have been a victim of a love spell.
Buffy remembered trying not to laugh when Warren took off his pants the first time. He was so little and barely had any hair down there. But unlike Angel or Spike, he was good at making love with his mouth, so things were soon forgotten.
"Oh shit, I forgot to bring a rubber."
"Want to use the withdrawal method?" Buffy wanted to smack herself, hearing her words echo in her head over and over again. Why that? Why with this little prick? No pun intended.
She had to admit, when he was up, Warren was a lot more man than she would have thought. much more than Spike, that's for sure. Buffy got on all fours, inviting him in. Sadly for the both of them, Warren shot his load right away.
Though Buffy did spend the night with him, holding him and telling him things were all right, she felt pissed off. She had a feeling that Warren wasn't the most experienced person, so an STD was something not to worry about. Foolishly, the idea of a child wasn't something that crossed her mind. Then again, in this circumstance, a child is an STD of a sort.
The nurse called her name, and she had a lump in her throat. The tests were simple enough. Sitting down in the vampire chair (a term that amused her endlessly), she thought back to the first time she had a blood test. She had been five year old and scared to death. She knew that needles were something that hurt and not something she liked. Joyce was there to hold her hand and talk her through it. She laughed when her mom yelled out in pain when Buffy squeezed her hand too hard. And she remembered the lollipop the doctor gave her for being such a good girl. Artificial strawberry never tasted so sweet.
"It's just a little prick, then it's over."
The nurse's words reminded her of her night with Warren.
Every second that passed by, Buffy wanted to live in the past. Nostalgia pushed.
Giving a urine sample was something far easier. Somehow she thought back to the time she was in the grade school production of Cats and soiled her outfit in front of everybody. Though at that time she'd wished she was dead, she'd trade a million good days to be back there at this very moment.
Buffy didn't like the idea of having to have an invasive pelvic exam. Putting her feet in the stirrups made her feel incredibly uncomfortable, especially with the graduate student who was doing her internship there. It's bad enough to be wide open for one doctor, but add in a nurse and intern student and her face was really turning red.
"So you just, um, poke around it like this."
Thankfully Buffy could move before Barbie touched her.
"Um, thank you, Brittany, but I'll do that. Please don't touch the patients, just watch, okay?"
She remembered the good times she had spent with Riley. Now he would never have come inside of her like that fool Warren. Well, he wouldn't have knocked her up anyway. Yup, good ol' Riley. Thanks to the Initiative's tests, the corn-fed Iowa boy had sperm as sterile as water, but still had a cock like an M-16.
Her eyes burned with tears when the doctor told her the news. "You are pregnant Miss Summers."
Buffy pointed to the "Fetus Flusher" pills on the shelf, the very same pills whose controversial advert had premiered days earlier on South Park.
"Sorry Miss Summers, you're too far along for that. We fear there would be too serious complications if you took those at home, and they might not work anyway. You'll have to make an appointment here, and we know that will be foolproof. The cost will be $230. Your insurance will pick up the other 50%."
Buffy sat motionionless for a few moments on the examination table. There was no question what she had to do.
Another appointment was made for a week from now. The longest week of her life was ahead of her, what to do? Nobody would understand. Maybe it would have been better if her mother were here.
Nothing was said on the bus ride back to the Summers' house. Nothing could cover what she was feeling at that moment.
In some ways, her and Tara being alone in the house was a good thing. With Willow going nutso in a dingy apartment across town, and the rest of them were gambling away money she could use right now, there was no pressure.
The tears came, and they came hard.
"It's okay sweetie, come here." Tara stroked Buffy's head, while Buffy lay her head in Tara's lap.
"I don't know how I'm ever gonna get through this. I can't bring a child into this fucked up world. That, and I can't be the Slayer and carry around a child. I have to do this, yet I don't know if I can go through with it or not."
Tara's fingers felt good, lightly touching the back of her head, running her fingers through her hair.
"I wish I had a cure-all for you, Buffy. One that would take away all of your problems with a word, but I don't. All I can offer you is that I will be with you every step of the way, no matter what you decide."
"I need to sleep."
Tara led her upstairs to the room she had shared with Willow. She held Buffy in her arms with Buffy's head resting on her chest. Though with the weight of the world on her shoulders, Tara's heartbeat softly lulled Buffy into sleep
No matter how things turned out, Buffy knew she had a true friend that would be closer to her in the next week than anybody she ever knew.