killing time
It's been 329 hours since you were kidnapped.
Your room surrounds you like a protective shell, wrapped around you like a blanket or a lover; her arms and soft hair and that smell that never quite leaves your bed.
The sunlight shines through the semi-sheer curtains and, between her legs, you heal; her fingers move over the bruises on your shoulders, over the now-faded purple stains that they left so you would remember.
They said, so you will remember who we are.
CJ makes you dizzy, like ecstasy before the overwhelming nausea and the party that never stops in your brain, the constant computer-generated sounds in your brain, the steady irregularity of your heartbeats going faster and faster, until—
She shudders on your tongue, moaning, lightly-scratching, trying to stifle her pleasure.
You kiss her. She's been with you since the trance music changed into police sirens and everyone around you began to tiptoe and speak in muffled hushes or worse, the semi-friendly, semi-concerned looks hitting you like fists, like fingers digging into your flesh, until it turns blue with fingerprints.
So you'll never forget, they said.
You never intended to forget.
And now it's CJ's tongue on you, in you, her fingers all over, making the noise go away; always so strong and so fragile at the same time, always on the verge of tears and oh, the tinglingrush that buzzes electricity into her very core.
You moan cee-jay, cee-jay until it's all you can hear. Until everything else in your brain is silent and you can't see anything but CJ's eyes, so focused.
She's been with you since you've had things to forget, and the wind brushes the curtain away to illuminate the room.
The light hits you a certain way as does her tongue, so good, so good you melt and crash and burn right there, and the wind grows weaker like your weary body, so weak that everything is dark.
Wake up, little girl, open your eyes for me (he said, you could hear it so perfectly, like the clear sound of glass shattering).
329 hours and a half; you close your eyes and let forever sweep over you.