Better Than Normal
"So, okay. Is this normal best friend behavior?"
Ryan rolled over, groaning. "Sleeping."
Seth poked him in the back. "Hey! I'm serious, here, guys. Because, like, I've never slept with any of my best friends before. Granted, I lived a fucked-up child actor existence, and most of my best friends have lasted about as long as a movie shoot, and you're not supposed to fool around with people on set, but still. I think if fucking your best friends was normal behavior, I would have gotten the memo by now."
Ryan turned over onto his stomach. "Breckin, give him a blowjob so he shuts the fuck up. I'm trying to sleep."
"Are you kidding? Somehow, orgasms actually make him chattier. He just came, like, two minutes ago."
Seth turned so that he was facing Breckin instead. "Breckin."
"Seth." Breckin grinned and twisted Seth's nipple.
"Ow! Fucker, those are sensitive. But dude. Normal? This? No?"
"Jesus Christ. Seth."
"Breckin."
"Is knocking over those big balloon things on top of car dealerships at three in the morning normal?"
"For people our age, or for drunken teenagers after prom?"
Breckin just went on as if Seth hadn't spoken at all. "Is it normal to meet at an audition for some shitty soap opera role..."
Ryan sat up. "Hey!"
"...and retain a friendship, especially when neither of us actually got said shitty soap opera role?"
"Okay, seriously. Bad-mouthing the soaps has to stop. I know you think its just overdramatic crap, but you have to learn a lot of lines in a short period of time and the emotional level is extremely high and it might not seem that difficult but..."
Breckin cut him off with a wave of his hand. "Okay, we get it already. Blah blah emotional resonace, blah blah hard work, blah blah groundbreaking role of a gay teenager in a cruel, cruel world. We get it. Please refrain from mocking us with the fact that you've been in roles that people have actually seen, whereas we're stuck being 'who's that guy's."
"Hey, speak for yourself," Seth said, very obviously amused that he could cause this sort of pandemonium. "I'm the cha-ching guy, fool."
"I hate you so much."
Seth beamed, leaning over to kiss Breckin on the cheek. "You love me."
"You know, speaking of roles, I have an audition tomorrow, and if you two fuckers don't shut up, you're sleeping on the couch." Ryan flopped back onto his back and threw his arm over his eyes dramatically.
"Au contraire, mon frere. There's two of us and one of you. If anyone's sleeping on the couch, its you."
Ryan moved his arm and peered up at Breckin, who was leaning over Seth's body to grin at him. "Please, please don't call me 'mon frere' a mere ten minutes after I've fucked you. Because that's just creepy, man."
Breckin leaned over to kiss him, ignoring Seth's grunt as his ribs were squashed. "Then my job here is done."
Ryan let himself be kissed, then rolled over onto his side, pulling a pillow over his head. Breckin settled back to his part of the bed, smirking. "Anyway. My point is, what part of this friendship would you consider normal? Hell, what part of your 'fucked-up child actor' life would you consider normal?"
Seth thought about it. "Okay, that's a scary thought."
"What?"
"That my big gay threesome with my two best friends is the most normal, healthy part of my life."
Breckin laughed. "Welcome to unreality, man. You're ready for grown- up Hollywood."
Seth raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth, undoubtedly for some smart-ass comment, but Breckin cut him off with a kiss, sucking on his tongue. "Now go to sleep before pretty-boy here kills us for making him go to an audition with bags beneath his beautiful, soulful eyes."
Ryan's muffled voice came from beneath the pillow. "Hey, this pretty- boy's ass is paying most of the rent, so don't complain."
"Was I complaining? I love your sweet ass," Breckin said, as Seth pinched said sweet ass. Ryan yelped and kicked back at both of them.
"Quit it!"
"Then quit being a dick and come cuddle with your boyfriends, fucker," Breckin said.
Ryan mumbled something that sounded like 'needy motherfuckers', but he turned over so he could drape an arm over Seth, hand settling on Breckin's shoulder. "Better?"
"Much."
Seth yawned. "I still say this isn't normal."
Ryan yawned too, a great big cat yawn right in Seth's ear. "So fuck normal. We're better."
And Seth didn't have anything to say to that.