Blind
Harry was sick of not talking about it. How come Draco always got his way with things? Was that the way a relationship was supposed to work? No. Harry knew that. Yet he let it continue.
No.
Not anymore.
He sighed and turned to face Draco in the bed. He looked in his eyes and knew that Draco knew what was coming. So instead of trying to make small talk leading up to it, he veered past that and got straight to what he wanted to say.
"Your father, Draco, he's a Death Eater." Harry said, though he knew that's not what he was meaning and he knew he sounded like an idiot.
"Harry, I think everyone in the wizarding world knows this, you expect me not to?" He didn't smirk, just said it, like it didn't even matter.
Like it didn't matter that his father was... what he was.
"God, Draco, how can you not care? I don't understand it. Think about it. Your father, he tells you that if you go with Voldemort, that you are brave, upholding the family honour and all that... it's bull shit. Truth is, he's a bloody coward, just like the rest of them. They didn't go to Voldemort because they would receive power and glory, they went to him so that in the end, he wouldn't kill them. They wanted to live."
He took a deep breath. Draco said nothing. His eyes were clouded over and for the first time in the year he'd been with Draco, he didn't know what he was feeling. It made him shiver.
"Truth is, they were wrong. In taking allegiance with Voldemort, they gave up their lives. They are dead, in every sense of the word. So when they kill, they think it gives them life, but it doesn't. Because no matter how powerful they feel right then, sooner or later, master is going to call them and they'll come running... like cowardly little dogs with their tails between their legs.
"Truth is, the only ones living are the ones who oppose him. While the Death Eaters live out life in a shell of death, people who oppose him live fully until the day they are confronted with his wand and his ending curse. We are the ones that live... that are alive and in the end, even if he does kill us, we had our life and lived it... the Death Eaters were dead when they crouched down to the feet of Voldemort."
Draco sneered, something he hadn't done in a long time, at least not with Harry.
"That was a lovely speech, Harry. One would think you've had a look into the mind of a Death Eater..." There was challenge in his voice and Harry wondered what it meant.
"I haven't. But they are translucent. You can see through them, because the meat in their bodies has expired... their heart and their very souls have been eaten away by cowardice. They are utterly emotionless and detached."
"And you tell all this by just looking at one? Looking at my father?"
"Yes."
Draco laughed and it was short and cruel. He stood up and slipped on some pants, turning and facing Harry with cold, grey eyes that spoke nothing.
"Then, you, dear Harry, are ignorant to your own blindness."
"What?"
"You are, in every sense, as translucent as your described Death Eaters. Though you contain a heart and a soul, everyone is free to take their eyes upon it and see you.
"You speak of love, Harry as if it were a true gift. As if saying those three words to someone is going to set you free and complete you, when in actuality, it sets you up for your downfall.
"You love people, Harry, and then you get blinded to what is really there. You loved Sirius, therefore you were blinded to his true hatred toward Snape... and even if that was not something as compromising as the Dark Lord, himself, in the end, because Sirius loved you, and was also blinded, he was killed."
Harry looked at him, shocked. "That's not true."
"It is. Love is blind, Harry. You love and you lose your sight... and in sight, I mean pure instinct that every human being is born with. In actuality, your love is just like the Death Eaters allegiance. You give up your sight as they give up their lives. The only problem with that is that you will still look for the good in people, that you think is there... and in the end, they have the upper hand on you and you are destroyed. Because you lost your instinct, that naturally, would have known that that person can't be trusted."
"What are you trying to say, Draco?"
"Don't you see it, Harry? Wait, see, there in lies the problem... you can't. You can't see it... even when it's staring you in the face."
"What are you playing at, Draco? I don't..."
"Do you agree, Harry, that you can't love something that's dead."
"Well I..."
"No, Harry. You did love Sirius, but he's dead. It's now past tense. You can't still love him because he isn't there. Just like he cannot love you. The dead and the living can't mingle together, Harry, that's common nature."
"Yeah..." Harry didn't know what to say.
"You're blind, Harry. You let love take hold of you one too many times and you are blind to what's true. You don't realize that they can see that love and they use it against you every time.
"You are so transparent to them, that they twist your love and use it as hate... use it to destroy you and the one you love. That's why you are no different than them in the end. That's why in the end, we are all alike, both dark and light."
Harry was floored. He didn't know what Draco was talking about and now was regretting ever wanting to talk about any of this. "Draco, I'm not blind. I know that I can't love someone who is dead. I know that. It's impossible. Besides, it's pointless and fruitless.
"But either way, I am not blind. My instincts have kept me alive all these years, have they not?"
"Was that instinct or just pure luck? There's fine lines between everything, Harry. Between love and hate. Love and obsession. Hate and obsession... you can get so wrapped up in your love or hate that it turns into an obsession that no long has the meaning it did before... it's no longer pure love or pure hate... it's just a dirty obsession that can only be fueled by more of the above."
"Are you trying to tell me that I'm obsessed with Voldemort?" Harry asked, blinking.
"You aren't as thick as I thought. Yes, Harry, you are obsessed with Voldemort. You've been so into this hate that you have for him that slowly, after it wasn't just your parents, but the attack on Mr. Weasley and then the death of your Godfather... you became obsessed. And you were blinded and obsessed as well. Which in the end, made you as weak as you were as a child, Harry. Weaker, even, because your mother's love spell is now gone and you are bare and naked and clear for Voldemort to see."
"I don't believe this. What the hell is wrong with you Draco?"
"Nothing, Harry, nothing that wasn't there all along... nothing that you were just too blind to see."
"What are you talking about? I'm not blinded to anything!"
"Then why are you still with me?"
"What?" Harry spat. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Draco held out his arm, palm up, and showed it to Harry. "What?" Harry asked, wondering what he was playing at.
"Look, Harry."
He looked. And suddenly, something began to writhe and form on Draco's bare flesh. Something that resembled... Harry gasped.
"You are beginning to see now, aren't you Harry."
"But... how... when did you..."
"I've always been this way. It's always been this way, Harry. Before you and me. And you, Harry, fell in love with me and was again, blinded to the truth. It was there all along Harry, but your mind chose not to see it.
"You fell in love with me and were blinded. I fell in love with you, Harry, and became obsessed. There is no love, anymore Harry, just obsession. Obsession on my part and blindness on yours."
"But... I love... you love..." Harry was on the verge of tears, but Draco stood stern.
"No, Harry, it's obsession. You said yourself that they were dead... my father was dead. I'm dead, Harry. I've been dead all along. You also said yourself that you, being alive, cannot love something that is dead."
"So what is this? Our whole relationship... means nothing? It's nothing? It's just an... an obsession?"
"How can it be something more, Harry? I'm dead, you're not. And in the end, I'm going to continue living in my shell of death while you get killed by the Dark Lord because you were blind-sided once again and he used it against you, just like he always has.
"There is no good and no evil, Harry. There is no life and death in this world. It's all an illusion of the mind and in the end we will all be destroyed by our obsessions... and our blindness. Your blindness."
"It's over?" Harry asked timidly, looking at the bed sheets.
"No, Harry, it's not over, because it never was to begin with."
And he left Harry sitting there in the dark.