For We Are Manly Men In Ties
It was a thrilling competition and everyone was there to watch it. Except for Dana, who was on a date, which was a relief because that way no one had to hear about her desire for new shoes. And Isaac, who was napping on the couch in his office. And Danny, who had lost the zone and consequently had wandered off muttering something about cheese fries around thirty minutes ago. But it was a thrilling competition nonetheless, the outcome made even more uncertain with Jeremy abstaining from participation in the game.
"It is down to you and it is down to me," Casey intoned.
Kim tapped her fingernails on the conference room table. "Mm-hmm."
"The moment of truth," Casey continued. "A moment that will go down in history."
Kim checked her watch. "You know, you'll be late for the 2AM if you keep stalling."
"Stalling? I am not stalling," Casey said, rearranging the cards in his hands. "If anything, I am allowing you precious moments of uncertainty before your inevitable and crushing defeat."
"Inevitable defeat?" Kim said, her eyebrows lifting. "Oh, I don't think so."
"I know so," Casey insisted.
"You're psychic now?" Natalie said, her face propped in her hands and her elbows resting on the table. "Are you going to do commercials with Dionne Warwick?"
Casey ignored the insults with good grace. "I know because I am a man."
"And your manly intuition tells you what cards I have?" Kim asked, holding said cards close to her chest.
Casey shook his head. "No, I simply can smell the scent of defeat in the air, for this is a thing all men know. Whether it involves the spirit of competition, the art of war, or diagrams reading 'some assembly required', men instinctively know when the end is nigh."
At one end of the table, Chris and Will glanced at each other and began chanting, "Men men men men, men men men men..."
Incredulous, Kim locked eyes with Natalie, and then turned back to say, "Why don't we raise the stakes? I mean, if you've got nothing to lose, why not?"
"I'm listening," Casey said.
"Loser owes a forfeit, the nature of which to be decided by the winner."
"I don't know," he hedged. "Sounds a little too Faustian for comfort."
Kim rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
"What are you, chicken?" Natalie said. "Your manly instinct letting you down?"
"Fine," Casey said, smacking his palm on the table. "Let's do this."
And so the last hand of the poker game began. And ended quickly, with Casey staring at the cards in disbelief.
"Go team!" Natalie said enthusiastically, helping Kim scoop up the colored chips.
"I don't believe it," Casey said. "How could this happen?"
"Your psychic friend lied, Casey," Natalie said. "Lied like a dog."
"It's impossible. I had a flush."
"And my girl had four queens, Casey. Read 'em and weep," Natalie said.
Casey sat back in his chair. "But the instinct is never wrong."
Dave pointed at the cards. "Seems like it was pretty wrong to me."
Casey peered at Kim. "I think someone should check the cards."
Kim peered back. "Are you accusing me of cheating?"
"Of course not," Casey said. "I just think there's a chance the deck is flawed."
"I'd like to claim my forfeit now," Kim said.
"This is ridiculous," Casey said.
"Buck-buck-buckawk!" Natalie said, flapping her arms like wings.
"All right, fine! What's the forfeit?"
Kim's eyes narrowed further and then strayed over Casey's shoulder to the conference room door. "Kiss Dan."
Casey blinked at her and put his hand to his ear. "Come again?"
"I want you to kiss Dan," Kim said, crossing her arms.
"You can't be serious," Casey protested.
"Oh, I am serious," she insisted.
"What'll you do if I refuse?" Casey said.
Kim looked to Natalie. Natalie looked at Casey. "Do you like your pants, Casey? Because I can make them disappear permanently."
"Fine," Casey said, wheeling his chair back and standing up. "I'd like to mention that I'm doing this under protest."
"What's the problem?" Will said.
Chris shrugged. "Peck on the forehead. Nothing to it."
Kim smirked. "I want tongue."
"I hate you all," Casey told them.
Dan chose that moment to walk into the conference room, whistling and carrying a greasy bag of take-out. He dropped the bag on the chair next to Casey's and took off his coat, and then he noticed everyone staring at him. "What? Is my fly open?"
Natalie clucked like a chicken again and the others joined in like a barnyard chorus.
"Oh, for God's sake," Casey said. He reached out and grabbed Dan's tie, jerking him forward and planting a wet one on Dan's mouth. Dan made a surprised noise, and it buzzed against Casey's lips.
Natalie whooped, the guys cat-called, and Kim shouted, "I don't see any tongue!"
I'll give you tongue, Casey thought, and pushed his tongue into Dan's mouth. He tasted salty, and Casey could tell that Dan had stopped in their office for a beer from their mini-refrigerator. Dan's tongue slid against his, warm and slick. He tightened his grip on Dan's tie and stepped closer. He felt weird, like he was having a heart attack minus the pain, Dan's mouth slipping over his and the scrape of teeth on his lower lip.
They broke apart gasping, Casey's shirt balled in Dan's hand. Casey had pulled Dan's tie askew.
The room was silent until Kim said, "Whoa."
Dan blinked at him owlishly. His lower lip was shiny and pink. "Uh... Casey?"
Casey blushed. "Yeah?"
Dan swallowed hard and Casey watched his Adam's apple bob. "What just happened?"
"I have no idea," Casey confessed.
The conference room door opened and Sally leaned inside, smiling widely. "Everybody ready for the 2AM? I've got another great show planned for my two favorite anchors."
Dan and Casey didn't stop staring at each other.
"Guys?" Sally prompted.
"I think we're ready," Casey said, still looking at Dan.
Dan grinned. "Oh, we're very ready."