Angel Woke Up Gay!
by Stephanie

It was sunset. And Angel woke up gay. Instead of rolling over and pulling his brocade comforter over his head in a haze of pain filled angst, he popped out of bed and ran straight (not too straight, mind you) for the shower. Humming the 70's disco classics that he hadn't even realized he knew, he did a little boogie in the shower while he lathered, rinsed, and repeated. He realized, between choruses of "More, More, More" that his obsession with Darla was gone. No more brooding in the cellar and drawing silly pictures for him. It came to him while singing "Funkytown" that his residual guilt for the pain he had inflicted on Buffy was also gone, too. He was gay. As gay as a spring morning, as gay as the 'Gay Nineties'. And it felt good.

Fresh as a daisy after his oh-so invigorating shower, Angel put on the only light colored clothing he could find and bopped into the lobby area of the Hyperion, still singing -- "Let's get Physical" now. His carefree gaze fell on Buffy, in town quite unexpectedly for a ratings boost. She was sitting on a couch, tears shining in her huge green eyes.

"Hey Buff! Why so glum?"

"Oh Angel..." Buffy cried, running into his arms, "It's R-riley. He's --sob-- left meeeeee"

Angel hugged her for half a minute more, and then holding her at arms length so he could look her in the eyes, said "Honeychild, it will be okay. Just you wait. Give that scrumptious little soldier boy some time and he'll come to his senses."

Buffy removed Angel's hands from her shoulders and gave him her best death look. "What kind of dumb game are you playing here, Angel? I know you hate Riley. Remember? Big fight last year?"

"Ehh...over it." Angel grinned and shrugged. "Why don't you get something to eat, hon? I'll see you later!" and with that, he walked out, leaving a rumpled and annoyed slayer behind, to puzzle at the spring in his step.


The bar was full. As Angel stepped through the armored door, he glanced up to the stage. A Kandarian demon was up on the stage, singing something by Faith Hill. It was the most horrifying thing Angel had ever seen. He sat himself down at a table to wait for Robbie, the host.

The horrible thing's set was over, and a Polgara demon was plowing its way through the second chorus of "I would do anything for love (but I won't do that), before Robbie (better known as the Demon Karaoke Bar's empathic emcee), noticed Angel sitting in a corner. Never one to neglect his cuter and more troubled customers, he sauntered over to Angel's table, drink in hand.

"Well if it isn't tall, dark and troubled. Here for another reading?" Robbie grinned as the vampire looked up at him, but his grin quickly disappeared, as he sensed "Angel? Feeling okay tonight? Is your drink not agreeing...what is that you're drinking there?"

Angel grinned and sipped. "Cosmopolitan. It's take vodka, triple sec--"

Robbie cut him off "I know what's in it, I work in a bar, remember? Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Nothing" the vampire said, giving the older demon a winning (and completely unexpected) grin. "I came here looking for you. You're so cute when you're alarmed." Perplexed, the emcee sat down across from Angel, who was now gazing at him. "You know... I never noticed how those horns bring out the twinkle in your eyes..."

A small, extremely powerful blonde woman projectiled up to the table. Gasping for breath, she looked from vampire to demon, then back to vampire. "Angel...Wes and Cordy said I might find you here" Buffy quickly turned away, covering her face with her hands. When she turned back, she spoke to the host. "Oh god, Angel, he's changed, he's different we used to have a thing and now look at him and GOD I hate Riley and I hate all men why me? Why me? Whyyyyy?"

Robbie, greenish eyebrows furrowed, looked from the upset slayer to the normally somber vampire who was looking... god, he was looking good, and...well...let's be honest now, Robbie--completely gay. "Oh..." he said quietly. He thought about it, then shrugged. "What the hell," he muttered under his breath. Turning to Buffy he said, "sweetie? Would you mind leaving us alone? I'm thinking this is a matter best settled between fellas..." Buffy made a face, turned, and flounced out.

"So." Robbie turned his grin on Angel. "Your lair or mine?"

I'm Gay!