The TV's on mute and I can see it from the couch — Brady Bunch or Family Affair or some such retro tackiness with girls named Cindy or Buffy and — oh — don't think about Buffy because thinking about Buffy leads to thinking about Angel and he's asleep in my bedroom right now and shh shh shh you can't wake him up, not at all.
Shh shh shh, Wesley, except it's not Wesley who's whimpering and moaning, it's me, because of what Wesley's doing and oh God, be quiet, Cordelia, before Angel wakes up and walks in and sees you with your legs spread wide and your breasts heaving and Wesley Wesley Wesley oh God Wesley I didn't even know you could do that with your tongue.
When you first kissed, you used too much tongue and there was a bit of drool, but I had no idea how good that'd be when you're kissing me there and there and oh God oh yes right there, but you still must be drooling or it might just be me because I swear there's a wet spot on the couch and oh Jesus, Cordelia, shut up because Angel will hear you and it's bad enough that he's going to smell sex rising up out of me and my couch and — oh, fuck, Wes, harder.
Oh God, what if Angel's listening in already, what if he's hard, what if he's got a hand wrapped around his cock and he's jerking up up up oh, right there, right there, and he's whimpering quietly because he wants to hear and shut up Cordelia, don't give him that pleasure, and if you're quiet enough, he might come in and join in and be in — oh Jesus Christ, Wesley, how many fingers do you have inside me and I'm all sticky and no no no don't take your fingers out! No don't — Oh God oh God oh God your tongue!
Where's my bag, it was right here, on the couch — no no no! Don't you dare stop to look for it! It's next to me, I can't find it, I can't — oh Jesus, Wes, stop distracting me no no no don't stop! I'll just throw everything out, fuck where is it where is it — oh God, so good so good so good, fuck yes! Found it!
Quickly, quickly, now, Wes, rip it open, put it on, I need it, I need it now, oh God, you fingers! Oh God, your mouth. When did you learn to kiss like that? Oh God, hands on my breasts and oh oh oh, kiss me again,and put it in me Wesley, put it in now.
Oh God, oh God, yes. Oh Jesus, Wesley, kiss me to shut me up because I think I'm about to scream oh God, I didn't even know you could feel this good that you were so thick and oh God, like that — just like that.
Oh God Oh Wesley Oh Fuck Wesley, please, shh shh shh, Angel could be listening, and oh Jesus, it is Family Affair, because there's Buffy, and no no no no don't think about Buffy with her sweet little tits that you just wanna suck on and oh God, did I say that out loud? Oh God, I did and oh God, Wesley! Oh Jesus yes! Pinch them oh God kiss me oh oh oh harder harder harder.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh God Oh Yes Oh Jesus Oh Wesley Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
YES.
Oh...Oh God. Oh Wesley. Oh. That's it. Yes, yes, yes, oh...
Shh...
Oh...
Wait. No, wait. No, don't get up, not yet, it still feels so good, and don't slip out of me yet, I just wanna feel you all over, you're sweaty and I'm sweaty and it feels so good even though I should shower and look good before Angel wakes up and sees us...
Angel.
You said his name. You said his name, Wesley, and I heard it, but I wasn't paying attention and Jesus Christ, Wes, you said his name when you came, and I heard you!
Oh God, how long has this been going on? Oh God, don't you know what could happen? You weren't there! You didn't see him when he totally lost his soul and it wasn't just some Hollywood drug and it wasn't just some random spell and it was fucking permanent and his soul was gone and he killed Miss Calendar and he tortured Giles and oh God, I can't say anything, because you don't think I heard, because you're still on top of me like nothing happened and we have all the time in the world.
Oh God, Wesley. Oh God, how could you do this to me? How could you fuck me and love him and work with both of us like nothing ever changed? How can I trace the scars on your back knowing that he must lick them in the moonlight? How can I kiss you in the afternoon sun when — is that a bite mark? That's a bite mark! That's a scar! He's bit you and you loved it and you love him and I don't know what to do anymore.
Oh God, Wesley, I was never good at lying, and you can tell, because you're climbing off of me, and you're looking at me and I don't know what to say, I don't know what I can do, I don't know how to make this all better, because I still smell of you and he'll smell me on you and you on me and I've just fucked up the one thing I had going for me again.
Oh God. What do I do now?
This Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at http://www.dymphna.net/fanfic/. And you can feedback her at dymphna@dymphna.net.