Hands the guy the money, sweaty from his hands. "Come on, man, you know I need it."
Grabs the small envelope from the outstretched palm like a dying man and runs from the alley.
Don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think
Running through the backstreets of Sunnydale, each block a covered in memories.
There were three vampires there and one of them had Willow. I couldn't reach her. He could. All she saw was Oz. All she ever saw was Oz.
Walking under street lights, each one marked with the past.
Cordelia kissing someone new under that street light. Seeing me and smiling sharply while sliding her hands down his chest.
Turning corners automatically, instinctively going places he doesn't want to remember.
Giles avoiding his eyes as he told him the news. The Hellmouth had closed three weeks ago. But the vampires had still been there.
Avoiding houses that used to hold friends, family, lovers.
Joyce Summers slamming the door in his face when he came to tell her. She knew he had failed.
Finding the dead end where the blood stain still was imprinted onto his brain.
One too many. There was just one too many. He had killed three. She had killed six. But there was one more. Just one more.
Pouring the envelope's contents into the spoon. Cooking it with his lighter.
She gave this to him on his 21st birthday. It had their names engraved on it. "Fire kills vampires," she said, pulling him closer. "But not all fire." She kissed him roughly.
Preparing his needle.
He had killed the vampire, but it hadn't saved her. Nothing had saved her. She died in the street. She died in his arms.
Plunging the needle into his arm, pulling back the plunger, seeing the tinge of blood.
Kneeling in a pool of her blood, soaking his clothes, soaking the sidewalk where she laid. Crying her name over and over.
Pushing the plunger down, hoping that this is the one. This is the one that'll end it all, that'll take him to her.
"Buffy."
This Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at http://www.dymphna.net/fanfic/. And you can feedback her at dymphna@dymphna.net.