the pearl

Faith And The Space Cowgirl

Faith was a kick-ass vampire slayer.

She knew she was too. She had the clothes, the muscle, the badass attitude, and she was really good with a stake. It was all just a matter of tackle, stake, dust. She was damn good at her job.

And things were going really well. Yeah, there was some shit earlier, before she came to Sunnydale. Everyone she ever knew had left her...her dad, her mom, her Watcher, that puppy she had when she was three...

Everyone had left her, except for one person. Her imaginary friend — the Space Cowgirl.

Faith liked the Space Cowgirl. She rocked Faith's little world, with her big blue pigtails and silver glitter cowboy hat. And whenever something bad happened, like she spilled a glass of milk, or she left the gate open so the puppy would run away, or she invited all those vampires into her Watcher's house, she could always blame the Space Cowgirl.

Because the Space Cowgirl was always to blame, talking to Faith and egging her on, telling her "C'mon, it'll be cool...let's do it!"

And Faith would usually go along with what the Space Cowgirl said, because, yeah, it was cool. And how many people get a cowgirl dressed in silver and glitter telling them what to do? Buffy didn't. That's for sure. If she had an invisible friend, it was probably someone who looked just like Buffy and acted just like Buffy and never did anything bad. And let's not even get into the possibility of Willow having an imaginary friend...

But Faith was getting kind of worried about the Space Cowgirl. Spilling milk and staking vampires were fun and all, but now the Space Cowgirl was complaining about Buffy. And Faith liked Buffy. Really liked Buffy. Liked in the way that when a person was in junior high, there'd be a note passed around going "Do you like me? Check yes or no."

And Space Cowgirl didn't like that. She'd go on and on and on complaining about Buffy. "She whines too much! She ought to trademark that damn pout! She needs to get over herself — It's not all about her pain! And what on earth is with those clothes? If she's trying to look girly, there are better ways than a big ass plastic bag and those godawful butterfly clips! Hey, let's find real butterflies and stick them in her hair! Or how about moths? Yeah, big ugly moths. Or roaches! And that boyfriend of hers! God, all he needs is black eyeliner and he could give Trent Reznor a run for his money in the angst department! You should stake him!"

Faith shook her head, ignoring the Space Cowgirl as best she could. "No no no no no! I am not staking Angel!"

"Oh c''ll be fun! And then Buffy would be looking for comfort and she'd come to you and she'd cry and then you'd get to do her. C'mon..."

"No no no no no no no!"

"Yeah, she'd probably spend most of her time whining. Damn annoying bitch." The Space Cowgirl was jumping around the small room, her braids bouncing. "Hey! How about you go fuck Xander?"

"I don't like guys, Space Cowgirl. You know that."

"Yeah, but he's cute and he has nice hair, and he looks like such a virgin. I bet he'd worship your feet if you gave him a little somethin'-somethin'..."

"Ick. Just what I need, a geek worshipping me..."

"It worked at that scifi convention. Remember? We got all that food and that nice hotel suite and all those videogames..." Space Cowgirl continued to bounce, accidentally hitting her mouth with her braids, getting silver lip gloss smeared everywhere. "Hey! I know! Let's go and find some dork...maybe an government employee...and kill him! Come on! You can pretend he was a vampire!"

Faith cocked an eyebrow at Space Cowgirl. "Why?"

"'Cause it'd be fun. More fun than sitting around here. And besides..." Space Cowgirl gave a dramatic sigh. "I'm bored." She aimed her little plastic gun at Faith. "C'mon...don't make me shoot you!"

Faith stared at Space Cowgirl. Space Cowgirl snickered, then started shooting, her little silver gun making clicking noises. "Bang! Bang! Bang! I'm shooting you! Bang!"

Faith sighed. "All right, all right, we'll go find a government employee." She grabbed her leather jacket. "Can I bring Buffy along?"

"She'll know that..."

"Yeah, but she's really hot."

"All right...but only if you go dancing with her. And wear that low cut top, damn it!" Space Cowgirl adjusted her silver glitter cowboy hat and jumped around some more, her silver miniskirt bouncing with the jumps. "We're going out...we're going out..." she sing-songed.

Faith chuckled. "Space Cowgirl," she said. "You need to settle down."

"Naw," said Space Cowgirl with a big grin. "You love me the way I am."

This Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at And you can feedback her at