the pearl

The First Thing You Think Of When You Travel In Time

So they took a break, after saving Earth and all, and found a nice little deserted island on a nice little deserted planet with absolutely no conquering aliens or fiery suns or vengeful inhabitants or anything of the sort.

Rose dug out that bikini she had buried in the bottom of her bag, throwing knickers and t-shirts all over the room, and the Doctor found a few beach towels, and, much to the constant giggling of Rose, a rather baggy Victorian-style bathing suit, heavy wool and covering from elbow to knee with bright green and yellow stripes.

Plus, his toes were awfully hairy.

Not that she didn't already know that, having been regularly shagging him since she saw the world end and nearly died and all that, but they were rather impressively fur-covered, and it was a lot more obvious under the twin suns of this planet.

She was just grateful she remembered to pack her razor when she left home. That's all.

And, for some reason she simply could not figure out at the time (and she occasionally still grinned any time she thought about "time"), that was the first thing she thought about when there was this whooshing sound and this *thump*, and then, there it was. The Tardis.

Although she could see her Tardis, there was another Tardis. That looked just like her Tardis.

And she was really glad she brought her razor.

Not that the thought made any sense at the time.


" that by me again?"

The Doctor —

Doctor Two? The other Doctor? Not-Doctor? Rose still wasn't sure what to call him, since there were two of him. There were two of her as well. One extra of her.


Could be Not-Rose. An impostor. She stared at Not-Rose intensely, seeing if she looked plastic-y in any way.

A bit greasy, maybe. Did that count?

And why wasn't the Not-Rose concerned about her, anyway? She was just...smirking. What did she know that Rose didn't?

"...we get called off to do something, and, right after we leave, you hop into your Tardis, go back three hours, and become us."

Rose blinked a few times. "So we, after meeting ourselves, go back in time to meet...ourselves?"

Not-Doctor nodded.

"But why? I mean, what do we — and I'm not just talking about me and the Doctor, but...oh, y'know. Me and the Doctor and you two who are also me and the Doctor, but anyway — what do we get out of it?"

Not-Rose (and it really did help to think of both her and the Doctor as Not-Rose and Not-Doctor because then it just led to confusion and her head was already hurting) started laughing.

"What?" Rose asked, frowning.

Not-Rose looked at Not-Doctor. Not-Doctor nodded, and Not-Rose, who Rose just noticed had really mussed-up hair and...was that a hickey? Not-Rose walked over to the Doctor (her Doctor, not Not-Doctor, and oh, there was that headache again), wrapped her arms around his neck, stood on her very tip-toes, and kissed him.

Not just a friendly peck either. This was a tongue and everything, discovering what breakfast was, spread her legs a little wider and she'd be gagging for it, kind of kiss.

The kind that Rose liked to give him just before she did spread her legs just a little wider.

Which she wasn't expecting to see happen in front of her. Without her. Or, okay, no, it was her, obviously, because it was time-travel, but it was Not-Rose kissing her Doctor, and Not-Doctor was looking at her and grinning and...and...

This was all getting far too strange.


"So, y'see..." The Doctor ('The Not-Doctor,' her brain repeated, because it was really the only way to tell them apart) said, sitting down on the sand next to the Doctor, just to confuse her more. "It's a time loop. You can't change it — I suppose you could, but then you'd miss out on all the fun, and then where would you be? Sitting here, getting sand in your trousers, and not enjoying what we — and you — have to offer."

The Doctor tilted his head and looked at himself. "And that would be the sex, right?" he asked.

"Right." The Not-Doctor grinned. "Me, and...well, I suppose it'd be 'me' again, wouldn't it? And Rose and...Rose..."

"Oh, no..." Rose said, absolutely refusing to look at herself. Or the Not-Rose. She still wasn't sure. "I'm not going to get involved in all this."

Not-Rose started giggling again.

"Oi!" Rose said, glaring at herself. "I'm're's..." She trailed off.

Not-Rose (maybe she should start calling her Rose-Two. Future-Rose? Rose-Later? Rose-Again? She had known that time-travel would cause trouble, but...) rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't! Girls...just..." She shook her head. "No way. Not even."

"It wouldn't actually be...ow!" The Doctor cringed as Rose smacked him on the arm. "It wouldn't!"

"Yeah, but..." Rose looked away, blushing.

"C'mon..." Not-Rose said, moving close to her on the beach towel. "You'll have fun..."

Rose grinned, despite herself and the small treadmill of panic her brain was currently running on. "And you're so sure of that?"

"Course I am," Not-Rose snapped back, smiling. "I was you, remember?"


Not-Rose turned out to really be Rose, right down to knowing exactly where that bit in between her shoulder blades had been needed a good scratch for weeks now was.

And then she did this trick with her tongue and Rose saw stars (not space-stars, not planetside-stars, but ohmygodohmygodohmyGOD white sparks flashing across her screwed-tight eyes) and it was even weirder to hear "FanTASTic!" in stereo.

But then that felt really good too.


Naturally, the Doctor wasn't fazed, not even when they all decided to gang up on him and there was a Doctor and two Roses running their tongues all over his body.

Well, he was trying to keep his traditional exterior of giddy schoolboy charm, but, then Future-Doctor pulled out a bottle of...something. Possibly from his homeworld. Looked a lot like lube. And then covered his hand kinda like you would with lube. And then it went somewhere and then the Doctor lost that grin on his face and just looked needy and...

Rose and Future-Rose looked at each other. Then dove right in.


And Future-Rose was soft and sweet in all the places the Doctor wasn't, and Future-Doctor knew exactly where to touch her and where to touch him and then there was her Doctor and he smiled and held her even as Future-Doctor was in her and Future-Rose was licking her and...



There was light. There were sparks and crackles and this huge amazing bright white light at the corner of her eyelids and she was gasping and crying and it was just too much.

And she heard him. She heard herself, and she heard him, and his shout was as loud and as sweet as her own.


Afterwards, when they were all sticky and sandy and wrapped up in the warmth of two aliens, four heartbeats thudding gently against their ears, Rose and Future-Rose stroked each other's hair, and resisted bursting into giggles.


"What did I tell you, eh?" Future-Rose said, smiling.

Rose laughed. "You weren't wrong..." She sighed, happily. "Better than that time..."

"...Mickey scored some E and spent all night..."

"...Eating me out!"

"Do y'mind?" a voice grumbled from above them. "I'd like to bask in the afterglow without hearing about your past exploits."

Rose and Future-Rose started giggling.


They dozed off after awhile, beach towels and woollen bathing suits keeping them comfortable, Rose's arms around Future-Rose as the Doctor and Future-Doctor held them both.

They slowly stirred to a regular beep coming from one of the Tardises (Tardi? Tardes?), signalling...something. Rose wasn't sure what yet, but imagined that it couldn't be all that great, what with Future-Rose groaning, and Future-Doctor jumping up and grinning madly.

"That's us, then," he said cheerfully. "Well..." He paused, possibly trying to remember the right manners for saying goodbye to the past selves you've just shagged rather amazingly, then took Rose's hand, kissing it gallantly, then shaking the hand of the Doctor. "Thanks for everything, keep your nose clean, and remember to go back in a few minutes, all right?"

"And don't be so hard on her..." Future-Rose said, grinning. "She just..."

"...Doesn't know any better," Rose finished, matching her grin. She waved as the future versions of themselves got into their Tardis, and continued waving even as the whooshing sound shuddered through the island and the Tardis slowly faded out of sight.

She stood there, watching the empty space for a few seconds, then turned to the Doctor (her Doctor, holding a beach towel in some vague sense of modesty, kiss marks still up and down his chest). "So..." she said, looking back at the Tardis before looking at him. "Do y'wanna?"

This Doctor Who story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at And you can feedback her at