the pearl

Koo Koo Ka Choo

It was in the middle of their last tour when Chris realized that Lance was fucking Justin's mom.

He spent a few days trying to figure out the best way to tell Justin...or to yell at Lance...or to do something other than sit there and go "Dude! It's Justin's Mom!"

Then he found out that Justin was fucking Lance's mom.

That threw him even moreso, because Justin was just a damn kid, and what about Britney, and he remembered watching The Graduate with him and he thought for sure Justin would never pull this Mrs. Robinson shit....

And then, one evening, JC walked into his room, looking pale, and said something about Justin, Lance, and their respective moms going into a single hotel room with a bottle of champagne.

Chris blinked a few times, opened his mouth and closed it a few times more, and then sighed, shrugged, and flipped the channel on the TV.

This Real Person story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at And you can feedback her at