the pearl

Mile High Klutz

Seattle, as Anya constantly told Giles, was far away. Not as far away as England, or Peru, or even New York, but far enough away that to drive to Seattle to purchase a few rare magical objects for the shop would not be cost-effective.

Plus all that sitting in the car would make her bottom numb. She had tried to sit in the car for long distances before with Xander, when he wanted to go on weekend trips. It never worked out well.

She knew many tricks for saving money, and quickly found airline tickets to Seattle for very little actual money. She told the woman on the phone that her great-grandmother had died and that she needed to get to Seattle for the funeral.

She even cried a little.

It was all very impressive.

Both of them would have to go up there, because Anya was the one who knew the demon and Giles was the one who had the money. Despite hiring Anya and allowing her to do the many things necessary around the shop, making major purchases was still something he refused to do. Despite Anya's protestations. It was wholly irrational, being that she knew her way around the various interdimensional black/grey/plaid markets much better than he did, and, therefore, would be able to not only get the items needed, but also get them for much cheaper.

Less money spent on merchandise meant more profit, which meant more money to spend on Anya's salary. Obviously.

If only Giles saw it that way too.


"I've never been on an airplane," Anya said as they reached the airport, sunlight just coming over the horizon. "Do you think all those stories about landing errors and fires and bloody high-fatality crashes are true?"

Xander frowned, looking at her in the rear-view mirror. "Ahn, why wouldn't they be true?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It could be a conspiracy by the automotive industry. To get people to drive more."

"I think we can safely assume that plane crashes do happen, Anya," Giles said from the passenger's seat.

"Oh," she said. She paused for a second. "Do you think our plane will crash? Because if so, I did some reading on how to survive a plane crash, and I believe I am prepared. I will check for the proper emergency exits and plan my route to them once we are on the plane. I am not wearing nylons, high-heeled shoes, or carrying sharp pencils in my pockets. In case of a crash, you bend down with your hands crossed between your head and the seat in front of you, with your legs extended so that they do not snap upon impact." She paused again. "I will also empty my bladder before I board the plane, to prevent internal injuries."

"Well, I certainly feel safer," Giles muttered.


The airplane was small and crowded. Anya lingered by the business class seats, expecting that those were the ones she would be sitting in, then sulked once the attendant pointed her towards the back.

"These seats are terrible," she complained. "Why do they make them so uncomfortable and crowded?"

Giles removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Because you decided to go for the cheapest rate rather than comfort."

"Oh." Anya digested that for a few seconds. "So you're saying that because I choose to not spend money, I therefore deserve worse treatment." She thought about it some more. "That is very economical, but unfair."

"That's how it is." He shifted in his seat, attempting to find comfort, then gave up and sighed.

She patted his knee with a smile. "Do not worry, Giles. With the money we are saving with these tiny seats, you can pay me more and I will buy many things. That will lead to me being happier, which will lead to a happy working environment."

"I'm already looking forward to it," he sarcastically replied. He sighed, turned away, and attempted to doze off.


The flight to Seattle was mostly uneventful. Anya asked the attendant for bags of peanuts, until they refused to answer her calls.

The deal also was uneventful. Anya found the demon, Giles made the offer, and then all three of them went for coffee, Giles drinking Earl Grey tea with milk, Anya drinking a mocha with sugar, and the demon drinking a half-caf soy latte with a sprinkling of cinnamon, chocolate, and oracular divination powder.

Anya and Giles went back to the airport, magical items securely stored in Giles's carry-on luggage and Anya carrying a large bag of Seattle souvenirs for herself and one small thing for Xander, and awaited their flight back.

Anya entertained herself by reading the magazines in the stores. Until the store owner harangued her for not purchasing anything.


The flight took off, and when the seat belt light went out, Anya unbuckled her seat belt and turned to Giles. "I think we should have sex," she said, her voice loud enough that other people looked their way.

Giles's mouth dropped open. "Excuse me?" he said.

"Sex. I think we should. This might be the only chance I have to have sex in an airplane, and I would be amiss if I did not take the opportunity."

Giles blinked. "Xander..."

"Xander does not like airplanes. He prefers to drive, and I have already had sex with him in a car. I wish to have sex on an airplane. I have read many things about it. And being that you are here and are reasonably attractive for a man of your age, I wish to have sex. With you. Here."

"Anya, you just can't —"

"Nonsense. People do it all the time. I have read many things about it and the 'mile high club'." She looked at him guilelessly. "You could go to the toilet in the back and wait for me. I would be there in a few minutes and then we could have sex in there. I know it is very cramped and smells kind of funny, but that must be part of the appeal, right?"

Giles looked away, only to see someone in the next row looking at him and trying not to laugh too loudly. He blushed, and turned to Anya. "Anya. You can't just...proposition people because it's a new experience for you."

She frowned. "Why not? It worked for Xander."

"Of course it did," Giles muttered to himself exasperatedly. He looked back at Anya, sighing heavily. "It's not polite."

She frowned deeper. "But if you don't mention it to people, how can you be expected to make it happen?"

"You wait until the moment is right."

"Which is now."

Giles blinked again, searching for an answer that was more than one syllable, and failing. "No."

"But, see, we're in an airplane. You are an attractive coworker of mine. It has been a very profitable day. All of these variables come together to equal sex in an airplane toilet."

"No," Giles replied, his voice a little sharper than usual. "They don't."

Anya stared at him for a long time, trying to understand.

Giles sighed. "I'm going to the toilet," he muttered, undoing his seatbelt and standing.


He splashed his face and washed his hands and looked at himself in the mirror, wondering who this person was that could easily turn down sex from a beautiful woman.

Just as he had decided that the person really was Rupert Giles, there was a knock on the door.

"Giles?" Anya whispered. "I am ready now. Please let me in."


"For the sex. Please let me in. The attendant is staring at me."

"Oh for..." Giles unlocked the door and opened it. "Any —"

She silenced him with a long kiss, pushing him back into small toilet, her mouth plastered against his.

Giles mumbled into the kiss and, after a few seconds, managed to pull her off of him. "Anya!" he said, shocked. "There will be no sex!"

That last word came as a shout, and he grumbled a curse underneath his breath as everyone turned to look at him.

She looked at him with a hurt expression on her face, then slumped back to her seat.


They didn't talk for the rest of the flight, nor did they talk when Xander picked them up. Xander asked some questions, and Giles attempted to be cheerful. Anya looked out the window and didn't say a word.

They dropped Giles off first, Xander frowning as Anya turned away and refused to say anything, then drove to Xander's apartment.

Once inside, Anya sighed heavily. "I thought for certain he would be interested in having sex in the airplane. But he turned me down."

Xander wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her forehead. "Don't worry, sweetie," he said soothingly. "You'll figure out a way to get him into bed."

She looked up at her boyfriend, smiled widely, and kissed him.

This Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at And you can feedback her at