the pearl


Xander sighed, looking down at his feet for a second before looking back up. "Um...Buffy?" he said, his voice low and worried.

Buffy's head lifted up. "Yeah?" she said in between sit-ups.

"Can I talk to you for a bit?"

Buffy frowned slightly, then shifted into a sitting position. "Sure..." she said, a hint of concern in her voice. "What's up?"

"What's going on between us?"

Buffy's frown grew deeper. "What?"

"What's going on?" Xander waved his hands towards Buffy. "I mean, I like you. A lot. And I'm beginning to think that you like me too and then I start thinking 'Hey, it's possible that both of us liking each other could lead to something more...' and then I start to panic because there's something I need to tell you but I don't know if I want to tell you until I know what's going on between us." He took a deep breath. "And that made no sense, huh?"

Buffy looked at Xander thoughtfully. "You really like me?"

Xander nodded. "I mean, I've been...interested since I first saw you. You walked into Sunnydale High and I was like 'Wow...I want that...'" He paused. "But now, it's different..." He looked directly at her. "You're not just this girl I want to get with any more. You're my best friend. When I think about the time we spend together, it makes me happy, and I want to spend more time with you."

Buffy looked at him with wide eyes. "Oh Xander..." she said softly. "I...I don't know what to say..." She paused, trying to think. "I mean, I've been feeling the same way too, and it's weird, because, you know, you've always been there, and you hated Angel and I thought it was because of jealousy or something and well, I just never let myself think about it until now, and..." She shook her head slightly. "And I'm babbling, so I'll just shut up and let you tell me what you want to tell me or whatever."

Xander stared at her in stunned silence for a few seconds, then said in a quiet voice, "Wow..." After a minute, he shook himself. "Yeah, okay, wow, um...right...I was going to tell you something. Yeah..." He straightened up. "I like guys."

Buffy blinked. "Excuse me?"

" a physical"

Buffy blinked again. "Um...Xander, maybe I missed something, but didn't you just get finished telling me you liked me? And now you're telling me you like guys instead?"

"Not instead. Also."

Buffy frowned. "I don't understand..."

"I'm bisexual, Buffy. I like guys, I like girls. And right now, I really like you."

Buffy looked down at the ground, still frowning. "I still don't get it, Xander. I mean, why tell me now? Why not in high school? Or never tell me?"

Xander shrugged. "I wasn't really sure of myself in high school. When Larry came out to me, I freaked...and it took me a long time to admit to myself why I freaked out." He paused again. "And I wanted to tell you because...I trust you." He looked back up at her. "Buffy, you're one of the few people I can trust in this world. And this is a big part of who I am. I am Xander, and I am bi. I had to tell you."

"Oh..." Buffy said, her voice soft and distracted.

He looked at her worriedly, then sighed. "You're not okay with it, are you?"

She looked at him with alarm. "No! No, I'm okay, really, I just..." She took a deep breath. "It's just a lot, you know? I mean, first we tell each other that we like each other, and that's big news, and then there's this whole bi thing, and that's big news too. It's a lot of big news, and it'll take awhile for me to adjust, you know?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah...I just...I wanted you to know..." he said, looking at her.

Buffy nodded too. "I know..." she whispered, moving in close to him. "I know..." She leaned in, softly pressing her lips against his. Xander returned the kiss tenderly, wrapping his arms around the small woman, holding her tightly.

This Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at And you can feedback her at