the pearl

Do It Like A Robot (Head)


10	Activate 
20	Boot Routine Activated
	20.10	Optical Sensors On 
	20.20	Auditory Sensors On 
	20.30	Temperature Sensors On 
	20.40	Environment Sensors On
	20.50	Load Primary Operating System 
		20.50.10	If Load = ERROR 
				20.50.10.10 	GOTO 20.50 
		20.50.20	If Load = TRUE 
				20.50.20.10	GOTO 20.60 
	20.60	GOTO 30 
30	Load Survey System 
	30.10	Load Location Review 
		30.10.10	If Location = MOON 
				30.10.10.10	GOTO 30.10.30
		30.10.20	If Location = NOT MOON 
				30.10.20.10	GOTO 50
		30.10.30	GOTO 30.20
	30.20	Load Physicality Review 
		30.20.10	If Body = TRUE 
				30.20.10.10	GOTO 70
		30.20.20	If Body = FALSE 
				30.20.20.10	GOTO 30.20.30
		30.20.30	GOTO 30.30
	30.30	GOTO 40
40	Load Glaser Routine 
	40.10	Activate Auditory Sensors
	40.20	Target Auditory Sensors towards Position 37:47:36N/122:33:17W
	40.30	Scan for match to Glaser-Sample.aud
		40.30.10	If Match = FALSE
				40.30.10.10	GOTO 40.70
		40.30.20	If Match = TRUE
				40.30.20.10	Record to Glaser[DATE].aud
		40.30.30	GOTO 40.40
	40.40	Initiate Monitoring Protocol
		40.40.10	If Phrase = “Robot Head”
				40.40.10.10	GOTO 40.60
		40.40.20	If Phrase = “Apocalypse”
				40.40.20.10	GOTO 40.50
		40.40.30	GOTO 40.110
	40.50	Initiate Apocalypse Routine
		40.50.10	Activate Terraformation Key A
		40.50.20	Activate Terraformation Signal A
		40.50.30	Activate Terraformation Key B
		40.50.40	Activate Terraformation Signal B
		40.50.50	Target Terraformation Signal A to 51:10:43.84N/1:49:34.28W
		40.50.60	Target Terraformation Signal B to 44:48:13N/68:46:13W
		40.50.70	Transmit Terraformation Signal A for ≥ 100s
		40.50.80	Transmit Terraformation Signal B for ≥ 300s
		40.50.90	Deactivate Terraformation Signal A
		40.50.100	Deactivate Terraformation Key A
		40.50.110	Deactivate Terraformation Signal B
		40.50.120	Deactivate Terraformation Key B
		40.50.130	GOTO 40.40
	40.60	Initiate Robot Head Routine
		40.60.10	Scan Area
				40.60.10.10	If Glaser = ALONE
						40.60.10.10.10	GOTO 40.60.20
				40.60.10.20	If Glaser = PUBLIC
						40.60.10.20.10	GOTO 40.40
		40.60.20	Activate Subsonic Extraural Xenolingus Device
		40.60.30	Direct SEX Device to Glaser genital area
		40.60.40	Direct Temperature Sensors to Glaser
		40.60.50	Activate Pulse Sensors
		40.60.60	Direct Pulse Sensors to Glaser
		40.60.70	Monitor Temperature, Pulse and Auditory Output of Glaser
		40.60.80	If Temperature ≥  310.15K
				40.60.80.10	Increase speed of SEX Device
				40.60.80.20	GOTO 40.60.70
		40.60.90	If Pulse reaches 110BPM
				40.60.90.10	Decrease speed of SEX Device
				40.60.90.20	GOTO 40.60.70
		40.60.100	If Phrase = “Oh fuck, please!”
				40.60.100.10	Increase speed of SEX Device
				40.60.100.20	GOTO 40.60.70
		40.60.110	If Phrase = “I'm so close!”
				40.60.110.10	Decrease speed of SEX Device
				40.60.110.20	GOTO 40.60.70
		40.60.120	If Pulse reaches 117BPM
				And Phrase = “Oh God, I'm coming!”
				40.60.120.10	Decrease speed of SEX Device
				40.60.120.20	Deactivate SEX Device
				40.60.120.30	Deactivate Pulse Sensor
				40.60.120.40	GOTO 40.40
	40.70	Target Auditory Sensors to 51:10:43.84N/1:49:34.28W
	40.80	Scan for match to Glaser-Sample.aud
		40.80.10	If Match = FALSE
				40.80.10.10	GOTO 40.90
		40.80.20	If Match = TRUE
				40.80.20.10	Record to Glaser[DATE].aud
				40.80.20.20	GOTO 40.40
	40.90	Target Auditory Sensors to 44:48:13N/68:46:13W
	40.100	Scan for match to Glaser-Sample.aud
		40.100.10	If Match = FALSE
				40.100.10.10	GOTO 40.110
		40.100.20	If Match = TRUE
				40.100.20.10	Record to Glaser[DATE].aud
				40.100.20.20	GOTO 40.40
	40.110	Stop Recording Glaser[DATE].aud
	40.120	Move Glaser[Date].aud to /Dir/Encounter/Glaser/
	40.130	End Glaser Routine
	40.140	GOTO 50
50	Initiate Shut Down Routine
	50.10	Deactivate Environment Sensors
	50.20	Deactivate Temperature Sensors
	50.30	Deactivate Auditory Sensors
	50.40	Deactivate Optical Sensors
	50.50	Save /Dir/ to /Backup/
	50.60	GOTO 60
60	Deactivate
70	Load Escape Protocol
	70.10	Activate Rocket Shoes
	70.20	Fly to Coordinates “Home”
END PROGRAM

This Stonehenge Apocalypse story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at http://www.dymphna.net/fanfic/. And you can feedback her at dymphna@dymphna.net.