10 Activate 20 Boot Routine Activated 20.10 Optical Sensors On 20.20 Auditory Sensors On 20.30 Temperature Sensors On 20.40 Environment Sensors On 20.50 Load Primary Operating System 20.50.10 If Load = ERROR 20.50.10.10 GOTO 20.50 20.50.20 If Load = TRUE 20.50.20.10 GOTO 20.60 20.60 GOTO 30 30 Load Survey System 30.10 Load Location Review 30.10.10 If Location = MOON 30.10.10.10 GOTO 30.10.30 30.10.20 If Location = NOT MOON 30.10.20.10 GOTO 50 30.10.30 GOTO 30.20 30.20 Load Physicality Review 30.20.10 If Body = TRUE 30.20.10.10 GOTO 70 30.20.20 If Body = FALSE 30.20.20.10 GOTO 30.20.30 30.20.30 GOTO 30.30 30.30 GOTO 40 40 Load Glaser Routine 40.10 Activate Auditory Sensors 40.20 Target Auditory Sensors towards Position 37:47:36N/122:33:17W 40.30 Scan for match to Glaser-Sample.aud 40.30.10 If Match = FALSE 40.30.10.10 GOTO 40.70 40.30.20 If Match = TRUE 40.30.20.10 Record to Glaser[DATE].aud 40.30.30 GOTO 40.40 40.40 Initiate Monitoring Protocol 40.40.10 If Phrase = “Robot Head” 40.40.10.10 GOTO 40.60 40.40.20 If Phrase = “Apocalypse” 40.40.20.10 GOTO 40.50 40.40.30 GOTO 40.110 40.50 Initiate Apocalypse Routine 40.50.10 Activate Terraformation Key A 40.50.20 Activate Terraformation Signal A 40.50.30 Activate Terraformation Key B 40.50.40 Activate Terraformation Signal B 40.50.50 Target Terraformation Signal A to 51:10:43.84N/1:49:34.28W 40.50.60 Target Terraformation Signal B to 44:48:13N/68:46:13W 40.50.70 Transmit Terraformation Signal A for ≥ 100s 40.50.80 Transmit Terraformation Signal B for ≥ 300s 40.50.90 Deactivate Terraformation Signal A 40.50.100 Deactivate Terraformation Key A 40.50.110 Deactivate Terraformation Signal B 40.50.120 Deactivate Terraformation Key B 40.50.130 GOTO 40.40 40.60 Initiate Robot Head Routine 40.60.10 Scan Area 40.60.10.10 If Glaser = ALONE 40.60.10.10.10 GOTO 40.60.20 40.60.10.20 If Glaser = PUBLIC 40.60.10.20.10 GOTO 40.40 40.60.20 Activate Subsonic Extraural Xenolingus Device 40.60.30 Direct SEX Device to Glaser genital area 40.60.40 Direct Temperature Sensors to Glaser 40.60.50 Activate Pulse Sensors 40.60.60 Direct Pulse Sensors to Glaser 40.60.70 Monitor Temperature, Pulse and Auditory Output of Glaser 40.60.80 If Temperature ≥ 310.15K 40.60.80.10 Increase speed of SEX Device 40.60.80.20 GOTO 40.60.70 40.60.90 If Pulse reaches 110BPM 40.60.90.10 Decrease speed of SEX Device 40.60.90.20 GOTO 40.60.70 40.60.100 If Phrase = “Oh fuck, please!” 40.60.100.10 Increase speed of SEX Device 40.60.100.20 GOTO 40.60.70 40.60.110 If Phrase = “I'm so close!” 40.60.110.10 Decrease speed of SEX Device 40.60.110.20 GOTO 40.60.70 40.60.120 If Pulse reaches 117BPM And Phrase = “Oh God, I'm coming!” 40.60.120.10 Decrease speed of SEX Device 40.60.120.20 Deactivate SEX Device 40.60.120.30 Deactivate Pulse Sensor 40.60.120.40 GOTO 40.40 40.70 Target Auditory Sensors to 51:10:43.84N/1:49:34.28W 40.80 Scan for match to Glaser-Sample.aud 40.80.10 If Match = FALSE 40.80.10.10 GOTO 40.90 40.80.20 If Match = TRUE 40.80.20.10 Record to Glaser[DATE].aud 40.80.20.20 GOTO 40.40 40.90 Target Auditory Sensors to 44:48:13N/68:46:13W 40.100 Scan for match to Glaser-Sample.aud 40.100.10 If Match = FALSE 40.100.10.10 GOTO 40.110 40.100.20 If Match = TRUE 40.100.20.10 Record to Glaser[DATE].aud 40.100.20.20 GOTO 40.40 40.110 Stop Recording Glaser[DATE].aud 40.120 Move Glaser[Date].aud to /Dir/Encounter/Glaser/ 40.130 End Glaser Routine 40.140 GOTO 50 50 Initiate Shut Down Routine 50.10 Deactivate Environment Sensors 50.20 Deactivate Temperature Sensors 50.30 Deactivate Auditory Sensors 50.40 Deactivate Optical Sensors 50.50 Save /Dir/ to /Backup/ 50.60 GOTO 60 60 Deactivate 70 Load Escape Protocol 70.10 Activate Rocket Shoes 70.20 Fly to Coordinates “Home” END PROGRAM
This Stonehenge Apocalypse story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at http://www.dymphna.net/fanfic/. And you can feedback her at dymphna@dymphna.net.