the pearl

Gaiety

"Jean?"

Jean Grey looked up, and saw Rogue standing in the doorway, looking a bit nervous.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Jean smiled and patted a spot next to her on the bed. "Sure."

Rogue sat down, nibbling on her lip slightly. "I...um..." She sighed. "I've been doing a lot of thinking..." She paused. "And...um..." She looked down at her hands, her hair falling over her face. "I think I'm gay."

Jean smiled politely and nodded. "I was expecting something like this..."

Rogue looked at her in surprise. "You were?"

"Well, yeah..." Jean smiled. "I mean, even with Logan's memories fading, you're still confused by what you think are your own thoughts, but are vestiges of Logan's."

Rogue frowned. "Huh?"

"You're not gay. You're just dealing with the aftereffects of Logan."

Rogue frowned even deeper. "No, I'm not. I'm gay."

Jean smiled sweetly and patted Rogue's hand. "Oh Rogue, I know it's hard. Remember the nights right after you got back? When you kept on trying to cop a feel and beat up Scott at the same time? It's just like those times...you're just sublimating it into what you think are your own desires."

"No, I'm not." Rogue sighed. "I didn't realize this before, 'cause I wasn't certain if my aversion to kissing men was because of what happened when I kissed them or if it was because I was a lesbian. And I've done a lot of thinking and I've decided that it is because I. Am. A. Lesbian."

Jean continued to smile patronizingly. "Of course, dear. I'm certain this'll past in a few more days..."

"What'll pass?" Scott said, walking into the room.

Rogue looked up at him. "I'm a lesbian."

Scott raised an eyebrow. "Still showing signs of what happened with Logan, huh?"

Jean nodded as Rogue let out a curse, glaring at the happy heterosexual couple. "I'm not."

"But Rogue, you just used profanity. You never did before Logan touched you."

"You didn't know me before Logan touched me!" Rogue ran her hands through her hair, then stood up. "Look, um...thanks for your help. But I think I need to talk to someone else, okay?"

"Just remember, I'm always here if you need to talk..." Jean said sweetly as Rogue walked out of the room.

Rogue shook her head and walked back to her room. Kitty sat on her bed, reading. "Hey, Rogue," she said. "What's going on?"

"No one believes that I'm a dyke."

Kitty looked up, then burst into laughter. "You're joking, right?"

Rogue flopped on the bed. "Why would I be joking?"

"Because, silly...you spent several days telling me how cute I was and how much you wanted to be with Jean...and then a few days after that, you told me that it was just that man's thoughts. So why would I believe you now?"

Rogue stared at her friend in disbelief. "Because I'm telling the truth?" she asked.

"That's what you said last time too." Kitty opened up her book again and resumed reading. "I hope this phase doesn't last too long — the spring dance is coming up and I think Bobby wanted to ask you out, and the last time he tried, you wanted to go to a strip joint..." Kitty's voice trailed off as she heard Rogue stomping out of the room.

"You have this stupid freakin' mutant power...and no one listens to you anymore..." Rogue grumbled to herself as she stomped through the halls. "Just because I touch a few men and take in their thoughts, everyone thinks I don't have any thoughts of my own!" she shouted.

"And what thoughts are these?" Storm said, appearing from her office.

Rogue whirled around, then slumped against the wall. "I think I'm gay."

Storm raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Of course you are. It's a beautiful day," she said with a slight bit of smugness. "Everyone should be happy."

Rogue blinked. "No, I..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "Nevermind." She straightened up and began walking down the hallway.

"What? Rogue?" Storm watched her walk away, then shrugged. "I thought for certain the sunshine would make anyone gay..." she said to herself as she walked back into the office.

Rogue ran down the stairs and stomped her way to the kitchen, pulling open the fridge and grabbing a bottle of juice. "Never had an original thought in my head, huh? I'll show 'em all..." she muttered as she reached for a glass.

"Show us all what?" a crisp voice said from behind her.

Rogue whirled around, nearly dropping the glass. "Professor!" she said in surprise. "I...uh..."

"Is there something you want to talk about?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.

Rogue leaned back against the counter and sighed heavily. "You're not gonna believe me..." she said dejectedly. "No one else does..."

"Oh I doubt that," Xavier said. "I do have one thing over anyone else in here — I know when you're telling the truth." He smiled gently and tapped the side of his head.

Rogue nodded, biting her lower lip in nervousness. "I..." She took a deep breath. "I'm gay."

Xavier's eyebrows raised, then he nodded. "So am I." He looked at the juice bottle. "Care to pour me a glass as well?"

Rogue gaped at him for a few minutes, then, occasionally dissolving into nervous giggles, poured two glasses.

This X-Men story was written by Kate Bolin. If you liked it, there's plenty more at http://www.dymphna.net/fanfic/. And you can feedback her at dymphna@dymphna.net.