Well, it finally happened. I'm gone. Just like that.

It's kind of funny, isn't it? That it would work out like this. A bullet, of all things. I was kind of expecting a bite, or at least Armageddon. A bullet is just so... human.

You know, I never really expected to die as a human. All my life my family tried to convince me I was a demon. I used to lie awake on the floor next to my bed at night and pretend that the trees outside were priests, come to exorcise me. I never expected anything but fire and brimstone.

Then you happened. Willow, you have to know, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. Through everything that happened, I loved you. I still love you. I don't think I have it in me to stop loving you.

I knew, that night, when we were alone in the dorm, running from those floating things, and we moved the Coke machine. Something critical changed. I felt that rush of power, and I felt your hand in mine, and everything was perfect. It didn't matter that we were running from creatures bent on killing us all, although your death never meant much to you. You've lived with this burden for how long now? Five, six years? Death doesn't mean the same thing to either of us as it means to normal people. I didn't expect it. It snuck up on me.

Don't blame yourself for this. It wasn't your fault. Right now, you're thinking "if she hadn't come back for me..." Well, fuck that. And you know damn well I never swear unless I mean it. I came back for you because I couldn't live without you. If I'd stayed away, it would have meant a long, slow, painful death. I might still be alive, but I wouldn't be living. Coming back to you is something I will never, ever, regret. Don't regret it for me.

I was looking into your eyes when it happened. I can't think of anything else I'd rather die looking at, but it had to have been hard for you. Really hard. Don't turn away from your friends on this one, Willow. How many times have you been there for Xander? For Buffy? They'll be there for you. Don't turn away from them.

I can feel the light, now. I'm almost out of time. I'm in a place filled with light, Willow. Don't turn from the light, I beg you. You must hurt terribly now, but the pain will ease in time. Just remember that I love you. I will always love you.

You made me complete.



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