everything i ever needed to know i learned from being a vampire

Dear platelet.

Didn't think this day would come -- and hell, that seemed a reasonable enough assumption for me. But it has, dust to dust and all that. I'm writing you 'cause I figure you're the only one who's really sorry I'm dead. All those other buggers might have a little twinge of regret or some such, being as full of goodness and light as they are, but they won't miss me. And that's fine. And Buffy? Well...ultimately it'll be easier on her to have me gone. And I don't want to torture her with some beyond-the-grave missive just to remind her, once again, how bizarre her life is. As much as I'm loathe to admit it, she never cared about me like I did her, and now that I'm gone I'd might as well leave her in peace. Hmm...a vampire writing a slayer a goodbye letter would be poetic, at least...but I left all that behind me. I was never any good at it anyway.

But I figured you might be able to use a few parting words, growing up in that sodding ugly world without the bit of extra protection I could have given you. So here goes. First off, don't ever be sorry about what you do or what you are. You'll get nowhere with it, except maybe to turn into a great brooding nancy boy with too much product in his hair. Er...I can't quite see that happening to you, but you get the point. Just do what feels right, and sod all else. It's like that American poet said...I can't remember his name, all those Americans blur together...anyhow, as he said, act on your nature. If you're of the devil, you must be of the devil. Just don't be sorry for it.

Secondly, know that you don't have to play second fiddle to anybody. Doesn't matter if you're just the Slayer's kid sister, or not real, or whatever piece of rot you can come up with to torment yourself with. The world's yours for the taking, and if you're ready to take it, it doesn't matter if it's slayer blood or magical energy or bloody port wine flowing through your veins -- the world doesn't give a rat's arse. Just don't let anyone get in your way. Whoever it is, it's a good bet that you're more important than him.

Oh, another thing. Feel before you think. Even if it gets you into a right bloody mess, it's worth it. At least you'll know you're alive.

Finally, don't let Buffy boss you around. I did, and see where it got me?

Sorry I couldn't stick around for you. Look at me, contradicting my own first piece of advice. Well, I can't help it. It's in my nature.

Love, William the Bloody


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