i'll be damned

I never thought it'd happen.

You outlived me.

The irritating little brat that Drusilla doted on so, that I thought would be lucky to make it to see fifty, outlived me. I'll be damned.

Literally, in point of fact.

Did you know, William, that there really is a Hell? Don't feel too bad; neither did I. And here I am, writing a letter.

To you, of all people.

I've already sent others off to The Master, Drusilla, Angelus...my dear Angelus. How I miss them all.

And you, too. You were the thorn in my side, the bane of my existence...and I loved you. But I guess you already knew that, didn't you?

Do you know what Hell really is, Spike? I'll tell you, in case your third Slayer gets you. You'll never believe me. Because what is truly scarier than all the darkness and all the evil and all the pain, in all the world?


That's right, just big, stinky nothing. Years of singing every song you know, reciting every story you were ever told, because there's nothing. And wouldn't that make you quiver?

My little Spike, my least favorite but most cherished child. My darling boy's biggest pain. My favorite mistake. You always needed something to do, so like a child. You have to keep your body busy to keep from losing your mind.

You don't have the strength of character to withstand this place.

But enough of the old insults, my love. I just wanted to see if you gave a damn that I was here. Did you cry when you found out Angel dusted me? I hope you did. You never cry enough, baby.

I miss the old days. I really miss China. You and Dru were such naughty little things during the rebellion. I must confess, I was rather proud of you.

And I'm still proud. You gave me a leg up to getting back in the Master's good graces. He was very impressed with Drusilla, and you...you killed two Slayers. Only he had ever killed more than one before you. You were actually an equal. And you were all mine, by extension, since Angelus and Dru belonged to me. So you helped me find my place in the Order.

Good for you.

Try to stay out of trouble, little boy. And take good care of Drusilla. No one else will. And she needs it. Angelus and I made her that way.

Well, mostly Angelus.

Enjoy Sunnyhell to its fullest. There's plenty of action there, but try and obey the Anointed One. He may be a child, but he is the Master's named successor. It would've been me, but as you can see, we had a slight change of plans.

You're a pain in the ass, Spike. And I love you. And damned if you didn't know it, too.




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