memo: buffy, vampire slayer
re: my death; you


Gosh darn it all, it's fun here. No. Really, it is.

He's fun. The big guy, I mean.

He lets me watch you.

What? You didn't think it was over did you? That I was gone for good? Forever? That I wouldn't find a way to throw something into your shiny spinning spokes and watch you fall, did you? I've been gone before and I've come back, you know. You're not the first thing that's caused me to falter. Yes, I say falter. Falter, only, little girl.

But. . .

I couldn't just go and not say goodbye, now could I? That would have been rude. Unseemly. I can't not let you know that I'm still here. Not let you know I'm still around, so to speak, that is. You should know that I'm watching. Looking down on you. Or up at you. Whatever it is. Heh. These 'dimensions' things have always confused me. (I had people to keep track of these kinds of things you know. Heh. I guess you do know. Seeing as how you killed all my people.) Oh...I knew the dimension I wanted to be in. And the girl that'd be at my right hand. But you sort of messed that up, didn't you? You and your little friends. And your dog too, if you have one. Bet you do. That'd be just like you, wouldn't it? All mom and apple pie with the house and the dog and the friends and the dad. But, wait. No dad, huh?

See? Just see how you've turned out? I've always thought parents really should stay together for the kids. Really. I mean, just look at you. No. Really. Take a look. No dad. And that Angel character you fell in love with? Can we just say father figure? Compensation? Your prince on a white charger? The daddy that would love you know matter what you were? Are? What was a girl your age doing with a boy that age? Pathetic, really. Sad even. Classic. Oh, have your watcher, your-Giles, isn't it? Nice guy, in a save the world kind of way. I never really thought much of that kind, in fact, they've always rather bugged me, but that's neither here nor there, and we're talking about you, aren't we? Yes, we are. And anyway, he, your Giles I mean, he was too much the dad for you, wasn't he? He didn't really count, did he? No. Not really. You wanted the sexual along with the daddy. Heh. Shame on you. Now see? Me and my girl? My Faith? That was just love, pure and simple. Father, daughter love. She needed me. Not like you. You didn't need anyone. Didn't really need your absent father. You don't need anyone. Oh, you'd like to think you do. Yes. You like to think you're better than Faith, better than the rest of your kind, because you have love, and friends, and your mommy, and your true love, but you and I both know it's not real. Not real need. Your Angel? You didn't need him. Now my girl? She really needed Angelus. He would have been good for her, I think. Oh, sure, he'd have tried to kill her sooner or later, but I'd have killed him long before the later came to pass. But, still, he'd have been good for her. Someone to play with. A friend, you know? Understand? Do you even try to understand?

See? I don't think you do. Try to understand, I mean. No. Not you. Just good and bad, slay or not to slay; that's all you see. And that's wrong, little girl. You can't even imagine what I could have been. What Faith and I could have been. Heh. But like I've said, it's fun here. Good fun. And I know things. I've learned things. Next time you wont have it so easy when you deal with me. Or someone like me. But I don't want to be rude, don't want to keep going on about me and my doings.

So? How's your family? Dead? Gone? Oh. Mostly dead and gone, now, yes? Heh. Dead, gone or out of touch. See? That's what happens when no one is taking control and running things. It's your own fault, little girl. Sad little girl. All alone. Heh. See? I can see you, lost, dead-alive, and I can smile. Laugh.

Bet you can't.

yours truly and most humbly,
Mayor Richard Wilkins III


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