The Big House

"I told you it was a bad idea."

"Shut up, Wesley," Giles said tiredly.

Wesley Wyndham-Pryce raised a single eyebrow. "I'm simply reminding you that it was a bad idea. Fighting a vampire in the middle of a public park is a lot different than fighting one in a graveyard. For one thing, the police are less likely to find you and arrest you for aggravated assault!" He was near shouting at the end.

Giles looked up from the bench he was sitting on.

"Wesley..." He paused, then shook his head. "Nevermind." He looked at Xander. "Will you please stop that?"

Xander continued to pace around the small holding cell. "Can't. Minute we go into the big house, I just know you're gonna trade me for a pack of cigarettes. Not you. Not Wesley. Not Oz--"

"They wouldn't need cigarettes," Oz said in that nonchalant manner of his.

Xander stopped dead in his tracks, staring at him.

Oz shrugged.

Xander stared at him for a few seconds more, then started pacing again. "I'm gonna end up in a cell with a bunkmate named Bubba and it's gonna be 'Deliverance' all over again. My family doesn't have money, they're not going to post bail. You're all going to leave and I'll be stuck here with a 20-to-lifer who keeps on telling me I have a pretty mouth!"

Giles removed his glasses and started cleaning them. "Xander...calm down..."

Oz looked up at Giles. "Can I be your bitch?"

Giles nearly dropped his glasses. "Excuse me?"

Oz shrugged again. "Just in case we end up in the same cellblock. Saves you a lot of trouble, you know?"

"What about me?" Xander asked, panicked.

"Welsey's free."

"Excuse me!" Wesley glared at the three men. "This foolishness is getting us nowhere! Now, we have to think of what we are going to say..."

"Why not, 'Hi, we were saving your asses from vampires, so please let us go?'" Xander said sarcastically.

Wesley glared.

Oz nodded slowly. "Sounds like a plan to me," he said dryly.

Giles nodded as well. "It ought to work perfectly well."

Wesley opened his mouth. He paused, closed it, and glared some more. He then opened it again. "I don't see..."

He was interrupted by the sounds of approaching footsteps. A policeman walked over. "Okay, the guy has decided not to press you can all go..." He unlocked the door. "But if any of you do this again..."

Wesley nodded. "I'm quite certain this won't happen again," he said crisply.

"Oh you can believe that," Xander said. "Never gonna be involved in a possible crime again. Nope."

Giles and Oz filed out of the cell quietly. After leaving the station, Oz spoke up quietly. "Giles?"

Giles looked at him. "Yes?"

"That bitch thing?" Oz looked directly at Giles. "I meant it." He smiled widely at Giles' stunned expression. "See you tomorrow at school..." he said nonchalantly, walking away.