Chloe Sullivan Woke Up Gay!
by Erin Cooper

Chloe Sullivan sleepily opened her eyes and reached over to hit the snooze button on her alarm clock. Dammit! And she'd been having such a good dream!

Sleepily she stumbled out of bed and over to her closet to get ready for school. She pawed through her clothes... good Lord, why did she have this many skirts and tank tops?! Who WORE these clothes?

Chloe managed to surface with a pair of black hiking boots, baggy black jeans, and an old Spice Girls shirt her dad had mistakenly bought for her one day. Chloe looked in the mirror. Chloe liked what she saw. Quickly, she gathered her hair up into a bun, "accidentally" knocked her make-up case into her garbage can, and grabbed her bag. Running down the stairs, she paused long enough to grab a muffin and be scrutinized by her father.

"Chloe?" Her father said, eyeing her up and down. "You feeling all right?"

Chloe nodded and mumbled around her mouthful of muffin. Her father furrowed his forehead and waited till she finished chewing. "Sorry. I said I was just feeling a little gay today. Bye, Dad!"

And with that, she was out the door.

Her dad sat at the table for an hour and was late for work. His mouth hung open.

Chloe arrived at the bus stop, still munching on her muffin. Clark and Pete greeted her, and Lana smiled from across the street. Lana nodded at Lana and turned to Clark. "Look at her boobs in that shirt! My GOD, Lana is looking fine today."

Clark and Pete exchanged quizzical glances. "Chloe?" Pete ventured. "You feeling all right?"

"Just a little gay. It's fine, though."

"Chloe," Clark tried, "you're wearing a SPICE GIRLS t-shirt. Something is WRONG."

"No, no," Chloe insisted, finishing her muffin and burping. "I'm fine! So what? I woke up gay! You should try it sometime. Lex wants a piece of you."


Both Clark and Pete looked shocked, though strangely intrigued.

"Aw, forget you. And school, while we're at it. Clark, I'm going by the farm to get some of your mom's cookies. I'll see you guys around third period."

And with that, she walked away.

Clark and Pete stared after her, mouths open.

"Mrs. Kent? You home?" Chloe called through the screen door by the kitchen.

"Chloe?" Mrs. Kent rounded the corner, halted in surprise when she got her first glimpse of her son's friend. "Are you okay? Why aren't you in school?"

Chloe let herself in, smiling. "I was feeling a little too gay to go to school today, Mrs. Kent. Can I have a cookie?"

Mrs. Kent nodded, still processing Chloe's previous statement. Then, suddenly, Mrs. Kent smiled. "Call me Martha, sweetie. You want a... ride? To school, that is?"

Chloe, who had been nibbling on a cookie, turned around to look at Mrs. Kent. Slowly, a smile came across her face. "Sure, Martha... I'd LOVE a ride from you any day..."

I'm Gay!