Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

First Time, Last Time
By kira-nerys
For Kate

Lindsey started at the slight noise. He was sure nobody who wasn't as tense as he was would have heard it. He turned around slowly and spotted a dark figure in the shadows. That shape was familiar, but he didn't relax.

What did he want?

"If you're here to kill me, grab a ticket, get in line," he said tiredly.

Angel stepped forward into the light. Lindsey could see him from the corner of his eye. Angel could move so quietly, and Lindsey shivered. The vampire ran his hand along the truck, and Lindsey turned fully toward him.

"I really like this truck, fifty-six, right? First year they had wraparound windshields -- you know back in the fifties we all thought life was going to be the Jetsons by now: air cars, robots... love to have an air car, wouldn't that be cool?"

Lindsey relaxed a little. Angel wasn't one for small talk and his words indicated that he wasn't there to kill him after all. That was a relief.

"So you're here to talk me to death?" Lindsey quipped.

"I'm just saying things don't always work out like you think. I bet Wolfram and Hart aren't too happy losing one of their best and brightest."

Lindsey met Angel's gaze and saw something there. Regret perhaps? But why? Of course, he would never ask, and Angel would never tell, but he could always guess. Somewhere along the line, Angel knew that he'd had enough, that Lindsey had turned into something other than the cold-blooded careerist that he was when he first came to Wolfram and Heart. Now Angel regretted that he was leaving, because whatever had happened between them, though they were enemies, they had come to an understanding and developed some kind of respect for one another.

Respect was rare in their world, and it was worth holding on to.

"Let them try and stop me, it'll be fun." Lindsey found himself saying.

"I don't know if that's a healthy attitude." Angel paused, lifting his gaze to look into his." So where are you going, Lindsey? Home to your roots?"

Was that concern in Angel's voice.

"Something like that," he said cautiously.

He watched Angel's face, seeing the vampire nod slightly. Amazing. What was Angel doing here, besides saying goodbye? .

"I hope you're not waiting for me to tell you I learned some kind of lesson, that I had a big moral crisis but now I see the light."

"Oh no, if you told me that I'd have to kill you. I'm just here to say bon voyage, and don't come back."

But there was something more - absolutely something more.

"What are you saying, Angel? Why are you here?"

Again, Angel looked away.

"Are you saying you'll miss me?"

Lindsey felt a smile creep up on his lips and he took a step forward to get closer to the vampire. They didn't get close to one another, for many reasons, and he thought that both of them knew why, but he never thought Angel would acknowledge the undercurrents between them. Would he do so now?

"And what if I am?" Angel said.

Lindsey fought to keep his voice even, though he knew the vampire could hear his heart speed up, feel the warmth spreading through him. It tingled. He'd longed for something like this, ever since he first laid eyes on Angel.

"I might say that I'll miss you too," he whispered, his voice not as unaffected as he might have wanted.

"That doesn't mean I want you to come back," Angel clarified, his gaze drilling into Lindsey.

"Fair enough. So what is this, Angel? One for the road?" Another shiver went through Lindsey, as he met Angel's gaze with equal intensity. Whatever Angel felt, he felt it more.

"Something like that."

A flurry of motion and he was wrapped in Angel's arms, cool lips covering his, kissing him like there was no tomorrow, and for them there wouldn't be. Not ever. This was all they were ever going to get and it would have to be enough.

They were frantic, and Lindsey knew this could never last. Not ever, but that was okay. He lived fast and loose.

"Woah, evil hand there," Angel chuckled.

Lindsey grinned. "It can be a good hand too, if you let it."

"Ah yes," Angel moaned.

Lindsey squeezed a little tighter, reveling in the look of intense pleasure and apprehension on the vampire's face.

"You don't trust me, do you?" Lindsey said.

"Not ever."

"I guess that's what made things interesting between us."

"Yeah," Angel replied and shoved him up against the side of the truck, pinning him tightly with a strong, bulky body.

"This is kind of crude," Lindsey said.

"Yeah, it should suit you fine," Angel agreed.

Then no more words were spoken as Angel kissed him again, his tongue invading Lindsey's mouth like it wanted to stay there.

And Lindsey felt the burning behind his eyelids. He wished he could have stayed, but trust would never enter into the equation between him and Angel, so he couldn't . Lindsey knew that he'd burnt all his bridges a long, long time ago. But the heat between them rapidly brought them both toward the end. It was crude, it was dirty and it was everything Lindsey could have ever hoped for.

"Just kill me now, Angel," he groaned as the pleasure of an orgasm ripped through him.

He felt Angel joining him almost at the same time, and the vampire rested his head against Lindsey's shoulder.

"Don't think so, Lindsey," he snarled. "For what it's worth, this world's a much more interesting place with you in it."

"Whatever you say."

But it felt nice, hearing those words, spoken with that dark, warm voice. It was all he could hope for, and he'd put himself in that position. If he'd known then what he knew now, he would have turned against Wolfram and Heart. He would have been what Angel had wanted him to be all along. Honest - and a good guy.

He wasn't a good guy. Never could be. Never had been.


"Yeah?" He turned around to look at Angel one last time. The vampire's lips were swollen and his hair mussed.

He'd be a difficult bastard to forget, Lindsey thought.

"We have an agreement. I mean it. Don't come back."

It hurt, but he knew, as well as Angel did, that it was necessary.

"To L.A.? You can have it."

Lindsey opened the truck door.

"Good, glad I didn't have to do something immature here."

"We already did."

"Depends on how you look at it," Angel laughed.

Lindsey smiled back, the reverie leaving him. He had to keep on his toes. His life wasn't worth much to anyone right now. His death on the other hand ...

He turned toward the car door and decided he would give Angel something. Maybe that would keep the vampire in this world a little longer, and for some reason, that made him feel better.

"The key to Wolfram and Hart: don't let them make you play their game, make them play yours."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Don't drive too fast, lot a cops out there."

Lindsey stepped into the truck, started the engine and roared away. The last he saw of Angel was the leatherjacket glistening in the light from a streetlamp, and then he was gone, into the shadows.

Angel smiled at the sign he'd pasted on the car. "Cops Suck."

Sometimes, life was fun.