Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Carols
Come Slash the "Buffy" Gentlemen
(to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")
by Dolores Labouchere
- Come slash the "Buffy" gentlemen
- It's fun to make them gay
- Ethan, Giles or De-von
- Could all kiss Oz to-day
- To save us from all from Spuffy fluff
- Please write some slash I pray
- Oh-ho visions of Wesley hugging Gunn
- Hu-gging Gunn!
- Oh-ho visions of Wesley hugging Gunn
- In Sunnydale, in LA
- The males have got the horn
- Spike is shagging Riley
- And Lindsey's licking Lorne
- Even mother Joycie
- Is watching lesbo porn
- Oh-ho visions of Wesley hugging Gunn
- Hu-gging Gunn!
- Oh-ho visions of Wesley hugging Gunn
- From Joss the great Creator
- A curs-ed Angel came
- And now with Doyle and Xa-ander
- He'll get to come again
- So authors to your keyboards please
- Don't let me sing in vain
- Oh-ho visions of Wesley hugging Gunn
- Hu-gging Gunn!
- Oh-ho visions of Wesley hu-gging Gunn!
Slashy Wonderland
(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
by Dolores Labouchere
- Slash fic ho's
- are you writing?
- The nips of Oz
- Giles could be biting.
- A beautiful sight
- no straight sex tonight
- they're living in a slashy wonderland.
- Out of jail is the Slayer
- Cordelia, she's gonna lay her
- There's licking of lips
- And thrusting of hips
- living in a slashy wonderland
- In the graveyard Anya's kissing Willow
- Xander's busy loudly screwing Spike
- Forget their marriage,
- he'll be biting pillows
- whilst she'll breed cats
- and call herself a dyke.
- In LA
- Lindsey's tired
- His evil hand, it got him fired
- And now it won't cease
- Strokin' Angel's piece
- living in a slashy wonderland
- Living in a slashy wonderland...
Good Vamp Angel
(to the tune of "Good King Wenceslas")
by Dolores Labouchere
- Good vamp Angel looked down,
- At the chest of Devon
- Smooth and trim with tan of brown,
- His pack one less than seven.
- Tightly bulged his leather'd crotch
- Angel he did drool
- His bedpost soon had 'nother notch
- And Devon limped to school
- Cordy to the jailhouse went
- In her best black skirt
- Men to Faith she did repent
- They began to flirt
- Steamy did this visit get
- Swopping their dream dates
- Cordy she liked Cate Blanchett
- Faith just wanted Kate.
- Write me slash, and write me smut
- Write me same sex pairings
- Have Oz groping Xander's butt,
- At Dru, Darla staring
- Lesbo Joyce and Spike in drag
- Even slash the Mayor
- Make them all wave the pride flag
- Write your fav'rite pair!
Hark The Herald Slashers Write
(to the tune of "Hark The Herald Angels Sing")
by Prophecy Girl
- Hark the herald slashers write, Glory/Willow, what a sight
- Larry drives Oz and Percy wild, Faith and Buffy reconciled..
- Joyful all ye hard-ons rise, what a surprise that Spike likes guys.
- Xander wanted Angel to nail, and Slash was born in Sunnydale..
- Hark the herald slashers write, Glory/Dawn is just not right
- For Giles t'was Oz he adored, hetero-fic just makes us bored
- Late at night Oz made him come, in daytime Xander wanted some
- Female flesh is all Faith craves, screwing 'B' on top of graves
- Pleased as man with man to dwell, Joss has set us up so well.
- Hark the herald slashers write, Glory/Buffy don't have to fight...
- Hark Oz playing Prince of Pain, Hail Giles doing Ethan Rayne
- Girls on girls is what we need, guys on guys we like to read.
- Ben he passes Buffy by, his hand grazes Riley's thigh
- Porn to pass our time away, porn where everyone is gay.
- Hark the herald slashers write, we don't care if it's not right..
Spikey The Vampire
(to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman")
by Buffonia
- Spikey the Vampire
- Was a soulless happy soul
- With a large bloodlust and a fangy mouth
- And two eyes like yellow snow
- Spikey the Vampire
- Is an old nightmare they say
- He was made by Dru
- But by Angel too
- Which is right, no one can say
- There must have been some boylove
- In his veins way long before
- For when he was 'round dear Xander
- He flirted like a whore
- Spikey the Vampire
- Was undead as he could be
- And the boys all say
- He was flaming gay
- Just the same as you and me
- Spikey the Vampire
- Knew the sun was hot that day
- So he said I'll bum
- And I'll have some fun
- Now before I burn away
- Down to Sunnydale
- With a dark song in his heart
- Running here and there all around the square
- In his pimp ass pretty shirt
- Away he went to Xan's basement
- A tube of lube in hand
- And Spike jumped him good there and then
- To satisfy Xanman
- Spikey the Vampire
- Had to hurry on his way
- But he waved goodbye
- Saying don't you cry
- I'll be back again some day
- Thumpety thump thump
- Thumpety thump thump
- Look at Spikey go
- Thumpety thump thump
- Thumpety thump thump
- Xander don't like slow
- Thumpety thump thump
- Thumpety thump thump
- Ain't they quite a show...
Kinky Slayers
(to the tune of "Jingle Bells")
by Buffonia
- Dashing through the graves
- With their stakes poised to slay
- Trading kicks and blows
- Punning all the way.
- Buffy's vamp Faith flings
- And they win the fight
- What fun it is to quip and sing
- A slaying song tonight. O!
- Kinky slayers, kinky slayers
- They go all the way,
- Oh what fun it is to ride
- Faith's thighs after a slay! Hey!
- A day or two ago
- They went out on patrol
- And soon to their surprise
- Their hormones took control
- The fuck was fast and hot
- B up against a crypt
- Faith held her up and licked her down
- Her tongue 'tween Buffy's hips. O!
- Kinky slayers, kinky slayers
- They go all the way,
- Oh what fun it is to ride
- Faith's thighs after a slay! Hey!
- And it is Faith's turn now
- Leather removed with speed
- Buffy takes her like a pro
- And gives as she received
- Now the deed is done,
- Although the night is young,
- Buffy's lost her thong
- So sing this slaying song! O!
- Kinky slayers, kinky slayers
- They go all the way,
- Oh what fun it is to ride
- Faith's thighs after a slay! Hey!