Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

Never Argue With Cordelia Chase
By Darlean
For Slayage Summers

Cordelia left the Bronze and started to walk home. It was late, later than she'd planned, and she was alone. Not a good thing to be in Sunnydale, especially at night. Slipping her hand into her purse, she fingered the stake that she'd been keeping there. Hopefully she wouldn't have to use it.

And you just totally jinxed yourself there, Chase. she thought angrily as a vampire came out of the alley to stop in front of her.

Taking a quick look around, she noticed there was no one around. Great. Turning back to the vamp, now in full gameface, Cordelia pulled out her stake and held it in front of her threateningly.

"You don't want to mess with me, buster, I personally know the Slayer and she will not be happy if I turn up dead!"

The vampire seemed surprised for a moment, but then smiled. The smile sent shivers down the brunette's spine.

"Well," he said. "I'll just have to cut you into teeny tiny pieces so she can't find you, wont I?"

Cordelia opened her mouth to comment, but the vampire leapt forward. She jumped back and lashed out with her stake, but it missed the heart and imbedded it into his shoulder. With a howl the vampire yanked out the stake and tossed it behind him before resuming his attack. He grabbed her by the hair quickly and tilted her head back, exposing her throat.

"Oh God." she gasped.

"Not listening, hun, sor-"

She fell to the ground, offbalance from how the vamp had held her, and landed on her backside.


Before Cordelia could say anything more, a slim hand appeared in front of her. Looking up, she saw Faith staring down at her, an amused smirk on her face. The brunette considered ignoring the hand and getting up on her own, but these were brand new shoes and she'd be damned if she was going to break the heel. Reaching up, she clasped hands with the dark Slayer, ignoring the slight tingle that passed through her skin at the contact. Once she was up again, she turned to Faith.

"Thanks for the save."

"No prob," the Slayer replied with a shrug. "Plus, y'know, it's kind of my job."

"Yeah, but still, thanks."

Faith grinned and put something into Cordelia's hand. Glancing down, she saw it was her stake. It was a little bloodstained, but otherwise still sharp and able to slay.

"So, what is a supposedly vamp-aware person like yourself walkin' around alone?" Faith asked.

"Going home. Car's in the shop, so I had to walk."

"No escort from B or her little buddies?" she snorted. "Some good guys."

"I don't really hang around them anymore. Long story."

"Well, I'm going to walk you home, so I've got time to hear it."

Seeing the steel resolve in the Slayer's eyes, Cordelia sighed and started to walk. She told of how Spike, a vampire with horrible dye job, had come back to town to get Willow to do a love spell for him. And wasn't that pathetic? He kidnapped Willow and Xander and locked them in the basement of the Factory while he went to go get supplies. Meanwhile, she and Oz had found the scene of the kidnapping and were busy tracking them down thanks to the werewolf's enhanced senses.

"And you wont believe what we saw when we burst through the door and ran down the stairs!"

She was prevented from continuing when Faith's arm was held in front of her, making her stop walking. She shot the dark Slayer a confused look.

"What? Why did we-oh..."

The pack of vampires came through the gates of the cemetary they had been passing, encircling the two. There were five in all and they gazed at them with hungry eyes.

"Newly risen vamps?" Cordelia groaned. "Great!"

"Just stay back." Faith instructed pulling out her stake.

"Excuse me, but I can take care of myself."

Suddenly, the five vamps leapt forward, all aiming at Faith and ignoring Cordelia. Faith quickly staked one before it got to her, then took out another as it tried to bite her. The third went down just as easily as the rest. The fourth vamp was a better fighter, and went about distracting Faith as number five snuck around behind her. Even if she did notice, the fourth was too bust throwing blows for her to do anything but block.

"Faith, look out!" Cordy yelled as vamp number five jumped at the Slayer's back.

Before Faith could turn around, the vamp had her arms pinned behind her back while the other was getting in a few punches. He pulled out a small knife and cut her along her side. Spurred into action, Cordelia eyed the stake Faith had dropped when she was grabbed. Not wasting any more time, she scooped it up and moved forward, managing to hit the heart of the fourth vampire before the fifth could yell out his warning. Taking advantage of the surprised state of the last vampire, Faith snapped her head back, the loud crunch of his nose soon followed by a howl of pain. Slipping away from the vamp, she took the stake from Cordelia and shoved it into his chest.

"Well, that was fun." Faith commented as they watched the dust settle.

"You're kidding, right? I've got vamp dust in my hair!" Cordelia exclaimed, grabbing a handful of her hair and shaking it at the Slayer.

"You'll be home soon, now come on, I want to hear what happened next."

They started to walk again and the cheerleader shrugged.

"We found Willow and Xander on the bed, making out."



Ten minutes later they stopped in front of Cordelia's house.

"It's...big." Faith said.

"Yeah, too big sometimes. When I was little I used to get lost all the time. The housekeeper always had to come looking for me."

The Slayer nodded. "All right then, I guess I'll see ya later."

"What? I don't think so. You're coming inside and we're going to patch up that nasty wound."

Faith glanced down at her side. You could see the flesh through the tear in her shirt and the slight trail of blood that the material sucked up. "It's not that bad."

Cordelia sighed. "It'll get infected. Besides, even with a little bleeding you'll attract every vamp within smelling distance. It's a wonder that we didn't get attacked again."

"I'll be alright."

"No, you wont. Now, listen up, I know you're new to Sunnydale so I'll let you slide by this once, but know this; no one argues with Cordelia Chase, you got me?"

"Yeah, I got ya."

With a triumphant smile, Cordelia led Faith up to the front door. She pulled her keys from her purse and cast a glance over to the driveway as she slipped them into the lock.

"Good, they aren't home," she sighed with relief, opening the door. "Probably at some party."

Faith followed the cheerleader inside and shut the door behind her. "They go out a lot?"

"Every night, though the real parties are on Friday's. Come on, my room's this way."

The Slayer noticed that Cordelia took off her shoes before walking onto the carpet and did the same. She carried her shoes up the stairs and down the hallway to Cordelia's room, where she set them in a corner.

"Wow, this place is bigger than my motel room."

"I've had this room all my life," the cheerleader replied, coming out of her bathroom with a First-Aid kit. She sat on her bed and opened it up, taking out antiseptic and bandages. When Faith made no move to go over, she raised an eyebrow. "You waiting for an invite? Get over here before you bleed on my carpet."

Faith complied, sitting across from Cordelia.

"Take off your shirt."

Faith did, then looked down sadly at her shirt. "This was my favorite shirt. Why do the best clothes always get trashed?"

Cordelia laughed. "I know the feeling. Looks like your bra's done for as well."

The Slayer twisted her head a bit and swore. A second later the bra was off and resting next to the shirt on Cordelia's bed.

The cheerleader's breath caught slightly at the sight of Faith's breasts, but she pushed the feeling aside. She'd seen other girls' breasts before in the locker room during gym class, this wasn't any different. She just kept her eyes averted and focused on her task, not the tempting sight to her right.

"Lift your arm a bit," she instructed, grateful her voice didn't come out husky. "It's easier to get at the wound."

Faith nodded and lifted her arm. The warm breath against the side of her right brest was calling her nipples to attention. That was easy to cover though, just say it was cold. Guys couldn't do that, hiding their attraction was impossible. Her gaze traveled down to watch Cordelia work and the slightly hungry look in those dark eyes surprised her. She wasn't normally one to go for girls, but there'd been the usual teenage thoughts on what it would be like. Something was telling her that it wasn't the same as it was with guys, you didn't just take 'em, please 'em, and leave 'em. At least for her it wasn't.

She hissed a bit as the antiseptic stung her wound. Her back arched a bit, making her breasts jiggle slightly. She could have sworn she heard Cordelia's breath hitch. More antiseptic came and she bit back the next hiss.

"Don't worry," said Cordelia sympathetically. "The pain just lets you know it's working."

"Pretty sucky way, why couldn't it just be tingles of joy?"

"World doesn't work that way."

Next the bandage was applied with an expertise that gave Faith the impression that this was a common occurance. Though hopefully the half-nakedness didn't always occur. She wondered if Buffy or Willow had ever been in this position, then held back the hint of jealousy that shot through her.

"All done." Cordelia announce, pulling Faith out of her thoughts.

While Faith inspected the bandage, the cheerleader got up and went to her closet. A moment later she came back with a dark blue shirt and tossed it to Faith.

"Sorry, but I don't have anything black. You'll just have to deal and be glad I didn't give you a pink one."

She laughed at Faith's instant look of disgust and took the First-Aid kit back to the bathroom. When she came out, Faith had put the shirt on and mourned a little at the loss.

"I guess I should get going now." Faith suggested.

Before Cordelia could think of a reason for the Slayer to stay, the sound of a car pulling into the driveway caught her attention. The front door opened and closed and muffled voices drifted up to the room.

"Cordelia, honey?" came a female voice, Cordelia's mother. "Are you home?"

"Yeah, Mom, I'm getting ready for bed."

Faith went over to put on her shoes and glanced at the clock. Nearly midnight. Kind of early for her, maybe she could get a few good kills in before beddy bye.

"Well, see ya." Cordelia told her, sounding a little disappointed.

Deciding to be bold, she stepped over to Faith and pressed her lips to the Slayer's. They lingered there for a moment, then she pulled back.

"Thanks for saving my life." she said.

Faith grinned and leaned forward, grabbing Cordelia's lips in her own, though not as chaste, kiss. She flicked her tongue at the soft lips, which instantly opened and allowed her entry. Her hands moved and rested on her waist, and one of the cheerleader's hands did the same while the other went to cradle the back of her neck. She broke the kiss, but didn't pull back.

"Thanks for saving mine."

Once again, she kissed Cordelia, who moaned softly into her mouth. It wasn't until one of her hands drifted to Cordelia's bottom that the cheerleader stepped back.

"Hey," she said, breath coming in soft gasps. "I'm not that easy."

"You want a date?" Faith asked seriously.

"Wouldn't mind," Cordelia replied, smiling a little. "I tried the whole making-out relationship. Didn't end well...wait, you want to take me out on a date?"

Faith shrugged. "I admit, it's not my usual strategy, but I'm flexible."

"Good, 'cuz I expect flowers and a movie." she teased.

"All right."

"Seriously? I mean, I was just joking...about the flowers and the movie, I mean."

"Seriously. I'll take you out on a date, then if it works out you can take me on one. Friday at eight sound good? Besides, if it's one thing I've learned in Sunnydale, it's to never argue with Cordelia Chase."

Cordelia smiled and Faith pulled her in for another kiss. Footsteps coming up the stairs broke them apart and the Cordelia quickly led Faith to the window.

"There's a tree just outside, closest branch is a couple feet down," she informed the Slayer quietly. "Now go! My parents'll kill me if they find out I was making out with someone in my room."

No sooner had Faith slipped out the window and disappeared from view had Cordelia's bedroom door opened. Her father came through and frowned.

"Cordy, Princess, close the window, it's hot out." he told her.

"Yes, Daddy." Cordelia nodded, giving a little wave to Faith before shutting the window.

"That's my girl, now get some sleep."

He walked over and gave her a kiss on the forehead before heading out. As Cordelia went to lay on her bed, she realized that Faith's ruined clothes were still on the bed. It was a good thing her father hadn't seen them, the tears and blood would definatly suspicious. She placed them in her nightstand drawer, making a mental note to give them back to Faith tomorrow, and changed into her nightclothes. Snuggling down under her blanket, she turned off the bedside lamp and went to sleep, already anxious for Friday to roll around.