Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

Lonely Together
By Velvet Crypt
For Cas

Willow looked around the Summer's home, searching for something that remained from her time there. Each room she visited made her heart clench a little tighter. She finally made it upstairs and into Joyce's old room...her and Tara's old room...the room where she watched her love murdered...

The bed was the same. The window. The mirror. But, the pictures on the mirror...those were different. And the clothes on the bed, definitely Buffy's. Further perusal of the room proved that Buffy had moved in here. She walked across the hall to Buffy's former room. Empty. Perfectly made, but empty. A guestroom. For a guest they didn't bother to meet at the airport. Or at the house. Or leave a note for.

Willow felt a familiar stirring. One she'd spent several months trying to suppress. Anger. Betrayal. Pain. She stormed back down the stairs and headed for town.


The Magic Box was still in the same place, but it was boarded up. Willow was about ready to turn away when the door opened and Anya stepped out carrying a box. As Anya's eyes met Willow's, Anya began backing up.

"What? What do you want? There's nothing left here for you to break or knock down. You got it all the first time." Anya struggled to keep her voice from quavering. Willow continued to advance on her, herding her back into the shop. Anya looked vainly around for help, and then sighed. "Fine." She dropped the box she carried to the ground and stood with her hands on her hips. "Is this going to be a fist fight or a magicks battle?"

Willow flicked her fingers in Anya's direction and the vengeance demon flew backwards through the door. She landed on her ass in a pile of plaster. She sat, glaring up at the witch. "Okay. Magicks it is." She allowed her flesh to bleed into its true visage and leapt to her feet.

Willow just glared. "Where are they?" She demanded.

Anya looked a bit confused. "Where are what?"

"The others. Xander. Buffy. Dawn. Where are they?" She growled. Anya rolled her eyes.

"Is that what this is about?" Her face went back to normal. "How the hell should I know?"

Willow took a step closer. "Because you're a Scooby. And Scoobies always stick together, right?" She laughed without humor. "Unless, one of the Scoobies pisses Buffy off. Then of course, you must pay penance before returning."

Anya warily brushed the plaster from her pants. "Um, Willow? Should I be expecting a dye job and some vein action here?"

Willow shook off some of her anger and grinned. "Of course not. I'm all better." Anya didn't look convinced.

"Right. I said, I don't know anything about where they are now. I kind of pissed Buffy off myself." She waved her hand vaguely. "One little boyfriend turned wormy demon and she totally wigged on me. Actually," she pondered for a moment, "I really don't see much of any of them unless they want something." She frowned. "Now that I think of it, they kind of treat me like we used to treat Spike. Only they don't pay me!" She looked horrified. "Oh, my goodness! I've been rendering services for no compensation!"

Willow snapped her fingers in front of Anya's nose. "Okay, so now we know they aren't proper capitalists. Back to the problem of where they are?"

Anya shrugged, still mortified. "They're probably at the High School. Everyone's at the High School. Spike's insane in the basement, Buffy has some counselor job and Xander is doing the construction on the building. See, they have jobs." She gave a little frown of irritation. "They expect me to let them do their jobs, but they won't let me do mine."

Willow snorted. "Anya, you don't exactly have a job. You kill, maim and terrorize men who piss their girlfriends off."

Anya glared at her. "Oh, that's rich coming from you! At least I have purpose! I don't just run around flaying people and draining their magic and life force in a tantrum!"

Willow's eyes darkened. "A tantrum?" She asked lowly. "I had a tantrum? My lover was shot to death in front of me. I was wearing her blood. Warren deserved what he got. He took the most beautiful, loving person that ever lived from this world. I can't hold her anymore. Or tell her I love her. I can never see her again, Anya."

Anya's gaze softened. "I know, Willow. I'm sorry. I know what you mean. I loved Xander more than anything in any dimension. I would have done anything for him. But he left me. Threw me away. I sometimes wish that he'd died. Because I have to see him now and know I can't have him. Watch him smile and know it's not for me." She dashed her arm across her eyes roughly and took a deep cleansing breath.

Willow's eyes faded back to their normal color. "Why don't you just leave Sunnydale, Anya?" She asked. "Move somewhere else? Go wherever you stayed before you became human?"

Anya shrugged again. "I just feel like I belong here." She said quietly. "I had friends here. I had tolerance, even if I never managed acceptance. I was useful. I guess that's just kind of hard to give up."

Willow nodded. "I understand." She cracked a smile. "You know, Anya. Even though I don't really like you, I feel really in tune with you."

Anya returned her smile. "Yeah. I feel it too. I never liked you either, but I get how lonely you must feel with everyone pretending you never came back, hiding from you, not leaving you any note or giving you a phone c-"

"Okay, Anya! Getting the point here!" Willow snapped. Anya nodded again and they stood quietly for long minutes, each dwelling in her own misery. Eventually, Anya glanced up.

"So, you want to go to the Bronze or something?"

Willow nodded. "Sure. It's gotta be better than standing here hoping you won't ask me to help you clean up."


They managed to get a small table near the dance floor. Willow got them drinks and they sat toying with the glasses and watching the dancers gyrate to the sound of what was actually a pretty good band. Anya smiled wryly. "I remember I came in here once, by myself, wanting to drown my sorrows in anything alcohol. The stupid bartender wouldn't serve me. Underage." She chuckled. "It's strange that now that I'm ‘old enough', I'm sitting here just staring at my glass."

Willow shared her ironic smirk and lifted her glass. "To finally being old enough to know how much life really sucks." Anya nodded and clinked her glass to Willow's. Together, they threw their heads back and drained the glasses dry. With a grin, they slammed them down on the table and the solemnity was broken.

They made their way to the bar and got refills, plus one just in case they didn't want to get up when their first one was gone, and then chased the teenagers from the couch. Granted, the teenagers didn't want to move. But, the unfortunate occurrence of all of their drinks spilling in their laps at the same time convinced them that perhaps a nice table by the exit would be better.

The girls curled up on either end of the couch. Willow asked what Anya had been doing over the summer. Soon, they had scooted together in the middle cushion and were discussing the intricacies of magic. Anya warmed to the subject, though secretly she thought she would have warmed to any subject. She didn't feel lonely for the first time in months. And Willow was so smart. She really got what Anya was saying. And she wanted more! Not like, well, you-know-who who always told her he didn't want to hear about her days as an ‘evil-emasculator-of-men'.

After another round of drinks was brought to them, thanks to a thought that Willow delicately ‘inserted' into the mind of the bartender, Willow stood. "I wanna dance. C'mon." She held her hand out and Anya happily grasped it and allowed Willow to lead her to the dance floor.

They made quite the picture: the redhead taking control of the blonde, the blonde melting into the possessive grasp of the redhead. Willow claimed Anya's hips, dominating her movements, coordinating them with her own. Anya wrapped her arms around Willow's neck, closed her eyes and tilted her head back with a smile.

Willow's hands began to wander, setting fire to Anya's skin. The vengeance demon blanked out the stray thoughts reminding her that she disliked this usurping witch, that she was practically having sex on the floor of a public place with another woman. She vaguely noted the differences between the large, rough hands she was accustomed to feeling on her skin and the tiny, smooth ones manipulating her now.

Willow found if she closed her eyes and just let the music flow through her, she could almost bring herself to imagine it was Tara in her arms. Almost. Tara had been curvy, luscious. Anya was more angular, defined. Tara would never have let Willow practically take her on the dance floor. Anya, though not a lesbian or even really a friend, was perfectly willing to let Willow take her anywhere she damn well pleased. It was rather heady.

Willow opened her eyes to the long, pale column of the demon's throat. She could see a drop of sweat trickling down it, heading for cleavage below. Giving into temptation, she leaned forward and captured the droplet as it breached the barrier of Anya's neckline. She followed the trail backwards, skimming her tongue along the sensitive flesh.

Anya moaned low in her throat, vibrating against Willow's tongue. She splayed her fingers and thrust them into the fiery mass of Willow's hair and pulled the witch tightly against her. Willow followed the swipe of her tongue with tiny licks under Anya's ear. When she nibbled on the demon's earlobe, Anya whimpered aloud.

"Anya?" Willow whispered against the blonde hair.

Anya could only manage a strangled, "Eruh?"

"You want to take this someplace less...vertical?" She purred. Anya didn't even bother to verbalize. She just nodded and let Willow lead her from the dance floor.


Anya fumbled with the key to her apartment and heaved a sigh of relief when she finally heard the lock click. Willow followed her in and pulled her jacket off, looking around. Hands shaking, Anya moved to the stereo and clicked it on then picked up the lighter and searched for calm in the action of lighting candles.

When the last candle was lit, she turned to Willow, feeling more composed. The composure slipped a bit when she realized Willow wasn't in the room anymore. "Where'd you go?" She asked, mentally cursing as her voice wavered.

"In here." The voice came from the bathroom. Anya stepped into the room to find a steaming bath being drawn and Willow sniffing her bath oils. Some she smelled then put down immediately. Others, she sniffed, nodded and poured a bit into the swirling water. "Feel like a bath?" Her eyes sparkled mischievously.

Anya returned the smile and nodded. "Sure." Willow placed the bottle back on the vanity and stepped forward. She tilted her head and latched on to a soft piece of skin on the underside of Anya's chin. She sucked gently, letting her hands wander over Anya's hips and ass. Anya sighed and let her head fall back again, thrilling at the havoc the neck sucking was wreaking between her legs. She ran her own hands up Willow's shirt and marveled at the smoothness.

Willow broke the suction long enough to tug Anya's shirt over her head and drop it to the bathroom floor. She cupped the demon's breasts and nuzzled the valley between them before slipping her hands around the back for the clasp to the bra. Moments later, she was back to nuzzling Anya's breasts, unimpeded by fabric.

Anya let her hands wander farther up the expanse of Willow's back and unclasped her bra as well. She regretfully lifted Willow away from her chest to pulled the witch's shirt and bra off in one move. Ducking her head, she licked a tiny, pink nipple and was rewarded with Willow's first whimper of the night. She worked her tongue around it, laving the skin surrounding it. Then she took the nipple between her teeth and rolled it. Willow howled.

The redhead grabbed the wall beside her as her knees went weak, not feeling anything but the warm mouth teasing her and the tingling beginning in her stomach. She fuzzily realized that Anya was undoing her pants and she obediently lifted first one leg and then the other. She heaved herself back up from the wall to help Anya remove her own trousers and found the demon had that problem taken care of already.

Willow grinned and stepped into the tub. She eased down into the soothing water and beckoned Anya. The blonde delicately stepped in and sank into the water and the embrace of the redheaded witch behind her. They lay for long moments, basking in the warmth of the water and the comfort of another body against their own.

Anya was dropping off to sleep when Willow nudged her into an upright position. She complied and felt water cascading over the back of her head. Smiling, she closed her eyes and let Willow wash her hair. She reveled in the feel of Willow's small but strong hands threading through her wet locks, massaging the soap into her scalp. She was disappointed when Willow rinsed the last of the bubbles from her hair.

But then, she felt the loofah slide across her back, slick with body wash, and her disappointment sluiced off of her like the soapy water Willow ran across her back. She had bathed him like this once. He had thought it was great, but after the hand job, he wanted to go to sleep because he had to work early the next day. Anya didn't know how far Willow was going to go, but she was damned sure going to reciprocate whatever it was.

Eventually, Willow dropped the soapy loofah into the water and commenced to use her hands. She ran them over the slickened body in front of her and nearly purred when Anya arched up into her touch. She slid the pads of her thumbs over the hardened nubs of Anya's nipples, pinching them gently. Anya leaned back into the witch's embrace and Willow began to tongue her ear.

Easing one hand down Anya's body, she made patterns on the woman's soapy stomach. She dipped a finger into her navel and possessively grasped her hip. Then she twined her fingers into the soft curls at the vee of Anya's legs. Anya's legs fell apart with no active suggestion from her brain. She could only feel. And she wanted to feel Willow touching her.

A small chuckle escaped Willow's mouth, absorbed by Anya's skin, and she dipped her hand beneath the water. Anya yelped as Willow brushed over her clit. Her hips thrust upward and she was rewarded by the witch slipping one finger inside of her warmth. Anya tried not to thrust down onto it, knowing the awkward angle it presented, but it felt so good.

Willow added a second finger and began to pump them in and out of Anya's wet channel. She used her thumb to tease her clit. Soon Anya was thrashing, moaning, begging for more. Willow shifted a bit, slipping down further, and crooked her fingers. This time, Anya howled. Willow moved harder, faster, making sure to scrape her fingers across the roughened place deep within the demon each time. She brought her other hand down to focus solely on the nub outside of Anya's body and gently bit her neck.

It pushed Anya over the edge. She came, shaking and trembling, mewling and whimpering. Willow held her as the tremors subsided and then toed open the stopper on the tub. They sat, wrapped in each other as the water drained out around them. Finally, Anya rose and stepped out of the tub. She held out a hand to Willow and drew her to her feet. She could see by the flushed skin, the hardened nipples and the wanton lust on Willow's face that she was still in the moment.

With a sweet smile, she led Willow to the bedroom. She eased her down onto the bedspread and took a moment to drink her in. Gorgeous. Just gorgeous. Slightly damp hair, spilling like liquid flame over the pillow. Pert breasts with perfect pink nipples standing hard at attention. The dip of her waist was fluid, melting into her smooth hips. The triangle of silky red curls summoned her attention.

She licked her lips and then crawled up the bed and straddled Willow. With long, flat swiped of her tongue, she marked every inch of exposed flesh on Willow's torso, licking then nibbling as though the witch were covered with chocolate. Hmmm, chocolate. If this is more than a one-time thing, I'll have to consider that, she smirked inwardly. She felt Willow's hands in her hair, clenching spasmodically as she dropped her attention to the junction of Willow's thighs.

The small whimpers and squirms guided her as she parted the witch's legs. She eased Willow's knees up and breathed in deeply the scent of arousal. With her feet flat and her knees bent, Willow thrust her hips upward. Anya giggled and gave a tiny swipe of her tongue to the dripping folds. Willow squeaked and threw her hands out to take on a death grip on the bedspread.

Anya gave a tiny mental thank you that Willow hadn't grasped her hair that hard, and then went to work. She licked and nibbled and worried the delicate folds of skin. She lapped at Willow's opening, and then replaced her tongue with her fingers. She began with two, pleased at Willow's easy acceptance of the invading digits. Since her fingers had taken over her mouth's task, she moved her questing lips up and engulfed Willow's sensitive clit.

As she suckled on the engorged nubbin, she added another finger. Willow groaned and thrust upwards again, trying to impale herself further onto Anya. A tiny idea flashed through Anya's mind. Had she done it before? Tara didn't strike her as the experimenting type, but they had been together a long time. Giving in to her internal debate, Anya added a fourth finger. She then formed her hand into a wedge and included her thumb.

Willow gasped and Anya felt the witch's internal walls constrict, then release. She moaned and let her legs fall further open. Slowly, gently, Anya pushed. Willow's head thrashed back and forth on the pillow, and Anya kept looking for signs of pain. But when none came, she gave a final thrust and sent her hand inside the warm cavern up to her wrist. She paused for a moment, letting Willow adjust to the girth inside of her, feeling the witch tremble around her hand.

When Willow had relaxed, Anya began rolling her wrist, letting her knuckles scrape across the roughened patch. She timed it so that she was alternating the rolling with the sucking and Willow thought she was losing her mind. She couldn't see anything, though her eyes were wide open. She couldn't speak, though her mouth was moving to scream in pleasure. She felt her orgasm building like an earthquake, sending tiny quakes through her limbs.

She tensed until she was sure she'd have sore muscles the next day. Then Anya began to hum. And the world exploded.


Anya gently eased her hands back out, slowly, one finger at a time, still feeling the occasional shudders Willow's body made. She grabbed the cover off of the bottom of the bed and pulled it up over the both of them. She could feel when Willow came back to consciousness. She was surprised, however, when the witch opened her arms up and let Anya snuggle under her chin.

The two outcasts lay there, each staring at the ceiling in a different part of the room. Their thoughts were swirling around in their heads even as their arms tightened around each other. This was nice. Both knew it wouldn't last. Both knew at some point they would have to get out of bed, face the world outside the door. Anya knew she would have to make peace with him if she wanted to continue to call the Hellmouth her home. Willow knew she would have to face Buffy, Xander and Dawn eventually.

But for now, they could just be. They could lay here and, for once, not be lonely alone. They could be lonely together.

They fall asleep each thinking how they're still lonely, but they're lonely together now.