Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

The Debt
By fish_23
For Wolfling

'You don't understand Angel', Doyle pleaded, anxiously pacing about the office's wooden floors. 'I've managed to get myself messed up with some heavy duty guys here. We're talking Angelus level bad guys'.' He paused from his pacing briefly. 'Okay, maybe not that psycho, but we're still talking big trouble here!'

Angel gave a weary sigh and set his pen down on his desk. 'So, okay, we find out who the leader is, have a talk with him, see about maybe a payment plan. We can be reasonable here..'

'.reasonable?!'' Doyle yelled with a side order of shrieking. 'Are you nuts? Yeah, they'll be real reasonable when they're removing my testicles with a screwdriver and a teaspoon. And that's if I catch them on one of their better days. I hear otherwise it's with dental floss and a toothpick, and you just know that that's going to be a bad week.' Doyle continued to pace and Angel started to frown; there was a little bit too much expectation in Doyle's pacing.

'So what do you tell them, Doyle?,' Angel gritted out warily.

'Why do you think I told them anything?,' Doyle said, hurt feelings evident in his expression and the fact that he then said, 'My feelings are hurt, man! That you'd think that I'd stoop so low as to say that my boss, formerly known as Angelus, scary bad arse of the demon world, had a night of passion thereby losing his soul and that, as his boyfriend, and the reason for said soul losing, that they'd sure as hell better not touch a hair on any part of my body that grows hair on pain of some very painful, and may I say, messy repercussions.'

Angel made pained eyes and looked down at his desk, picking up his pen again and staring at it intently rather than having to look in Doyle's hopeful direction. He looked at it like a man who liked his pen a lot, like it was a shiny metal cylindrical security blanket that wouldn't make unreasonable demands on him. Like a man who maybe right then was contemplating replacing Doyle with a pen and was thinking on how much easier his life would be. Angel sighed again, slowly looking back up like a man defeated and Doyle stopped pacing even if he wasn't about to stop talking.

'Look, I'm sorry man, but really, what else could I have said? I was in a spot, my knackers on the line both figuratively and very, very literally. It was a case of thinking on my feet, and you've got to admit it was a pretty damn effective way of making sure that they weren't going to touch me. And once you go down with me to their hideout and tell me they'll be no detaching various bits and bobs of old Doyle here, they'll be sure to leave me alone and I can pay them back once I get paid off for the bet I made on the Hockey game playing Wednesday. Which, okay, hasn't played yet, but is a sure bet. It's all in the bag, man!'

'Doyle, I'm really just not comfortable bet on the Hockey?' Angel's face briefly brightened with interest. 'Which team?'

Doyle clapped his hands, stretching his arms out. 'Why only the Philadelphia Flyers of course! Man would be a fool to bet on any other team!'

A small smile appeared on Angel's face until a small frown skated in quickly after. 'You're only saying that because you know that's my team!' Angel said accusingly. 'You're trying to soften me up!'

'And that's all I'll be if I don't talk these guys into giving me more time to pay them back,' Doyle exclaimed. 'Look, Angel, I've learned the error of my ways here, seriously. I just need you to help me out here a bit, back me up here buddy. Because telling a loan shark that we're shagging and you acting the heavy, that's so what friends would do! You've got to get with our human ways here, Angel!'

Angel sighed once more and reluctantly gave up his grip on his most favoured pen. 'Look, I guess I could.'

'Thanks man!,' Doyle exclaimed. 'You're the best! Now grab your coat and we can be down there in ten minutes!'

'Now? We're.going now?' Angel said, befuddled at already having his jacket thrust into his hand as Doyle stood there with the door open and a 'will you hurry up already' expression on his face.

'Time stands still for no man. Especially when his balls are at stake.'


Contrary to popular belief Los Angeles was in fact home to some rather attractive wharf front settings.

However, this was not one of them.

'Breathe in deeply, Angel!,' Doyle exalted as they walked along the pier. 'Get some of that fantastic salt air into those saggy lungs of yours!'

Angel took a hesitant sniff, recoiled and then took another one in a hapless act of faith. 'Is this some kind of Brachen demon smell thing?' He looked sideways at Doyle with a vaguely worried look on his face, his nostrils crinkled in misery.

'No, Angel. That was the fine art of sarcasm at work.' Doyle sighed as he looked around. 'Why can't these secret rendezvous points be somewhere nice for once instead of a place where the smell of reeking fish is only working to hide some of the more unpleasant smells that are floating about this dump? Why can't they have these places in parks, or beaches, or a place which gives ample opportunity for ogling scantily clad woman? Like a changing room?'

'You mean places that would attract people? Might not be the best thing possible for a hide-out,' Angel said, stepping on half a seagull while a rat scurried away in irritation. Doyle saw Angel making puppy eyes at his desecrated shoes and knew that this casualty of war meant he was going to owe Angel big time.

They rounded a corner and came across a lone street light, its dim light wavering and illuminating a wooden hut. Mist rolled about the doorway and Doyle half expected the horn of a freighter to sound, maybe the sound of a saxophone to start up. This was cliché city and Doyle was a man without a fedora. He squared his shoulders and walked up to the door, rapping loudly and then frantically waggling his head at Angel for him to stand closer, and to possibly grow five inches and growl a lot. The door squeaked open and Doyle held his breath.

There were a few things that quickly raced through Doyle's mind. The guy standing in the entrance was big, the guy was mean looking, the guy was standing on a step, the guy was now stepping off the step and glowering at Angel's bellybutton, and the guy was causing Doyle to now choke back a serious case of the giggles. But manly giggles, because Doyle could at least gaze sternly at Angel's nipple area if need be. Not that he gazed at Angel's nipples, mind you.

Except, Doyle thought, his eyes wandering off to stare into the distance with a furrowed brow look of sudden concentration of his face, that time when Angel was wearing that white singlet, but that was only because of the seriousness of the perky nipple action that was going on that day. Doyle was suddenly startled from his musings as he heard Angel clearing his throat and looked over to see the teeny glowering henchman and the vamp in question staring at him strangely, and he decided that the nipple retrospection that was currently showing in his head was best left for another time.

He was determined to take charge of the situation once more, and more importantly to stop them from looking at him as if he was going to burst into another round of giggling followed by seemingly staring at a half-filled rotting case of fish that sat in front of the shack as if he wanted to lick the pile of fetid fish flesh and breathe naughty things into its various ears. He clapped his hands together brusquely and decided to get the show on the road.

'So,' he said meaningfully. 'Did you get the message that I left on your answering machine?'

'Nah, piece of crap answer machines broken,' Tiny said good naturedly, looking up at Doyle expectantly and bouncing on the souls of his feet. 'You're Doyle, yeah? Owes me money? Thought you might show up.'

Doyle nodded his head looking vaguely disappointed but then taking a deep breath prepared to go into his pre-prepared schpiel once more.

'Okay, like, so you know that I'm a bit behind on one of my payments that you brought off McKinley, through no fault of my own I might add, and I know this is the part where you send around the henchman to break my legs and give me a good beating, but I'm telling you know that I'm good for the money and I'm just needing a bit more time and I'll pay you back as sure as my boyfriend here is a deadly blood thirsty vampire feared throughout this demon world and the next, which is entirely beside the point, but I thought it should be said.'

Angel shuffled uncomfortably beside him and Doyle tried to will him with the power of his mind to glower and maybe growl. He was a vampire, where the hell was the damn growling already?

Teeny henchman gave a grunt and crossed his arms. 'Yeah, alright,' he said grudgingly. 'You can have until the end of the week.'

'What?,' Doyle exclaimed in a strangled voice. This wasn't how it went. Where were the threats back, the menacing; the tradition? Doyle internally flailed about, his script book suddenly having turned traitor and scampered off. He stared wide eyed not knowing what to do. 'This here's my boyfriend you know, he's a big guy, he can completely kick your arse if you try and have someone come and kick mine.'

'Alright, alright you can have until the end of the month. But that's only because my daughter got married yesterday and I'm feeling in a sentimental mood.' Tiny looked back and forth assessing them. 'Plus two kids in love, guess I can stand to give you a hand.''

'Erm, yeah, thanks,' Doyle said, still startled, although the squeaking was back under control. 'Yeah, using the money for a house deposit you see, getting together a bit of a love nest for me and sunshine here, thinking about adopting kiddies at some point what with Angel here being barren and all and.'

'Yeah,' said the guy, interrupting quickly before he was standing outside all night and missing out on all his favourite shows. 'That's great, but you're not getting any longer. Plus, tell anybody about this and you'll be wearing your testicles as a pair of earmuffs before you can say, "no, please doesn't cut off my nuts with a teaspoon, mister!".'

Doyle almost breathed a sigh of relief. At least some of the old traditions weren't being overlooked and now he had all the time in the world to win his money back. He thought he saw a slight order of glowering happening out of his side vision and intercepted before Angel could say anything. 'Sure, no problem. Lips are sealed, testicles intact, and all is okay mate!' Doyle took a step backwards, a hand darting out to nudge Angel back with him. With a jaunty wave of a hand and a door slammed on their retreating backs, they started their way back along the pier to the car, Doyle with a newly found bounce in his step from a job well done.

'Ha, did you see him?' Doyle crowed. 'Tiny little guy like that, what the hell was I shacking in my boots about? Could have flicked him about with my fingers and finished him off with a nudge of an elbow.' He drew himself up, courage suddenly surging through his veins. 'Hell, I might go back, tell him where to stick his debt. Tell him that Doyle here's not intimidated by no cheap loan shark with some terrible taste in shoes. I mean did you see those things? Scariest part of the whole evening!'

A slight smile appeared for a brief instant on Angel's face. 'He was a Borasch demon. Their saliva is acidic and they have extendable ten inch claws.'

Doyle sniffed and they walked for a while in companionable silence.

'Well obviously it would be wrong of me to welsh on a debt. And his daughter did just get married. Would hate to upset the family and all on such a special occasion.'

'Generous of you.'

'Hey, I'm a generous guy! And talking about that, how about I buy you a drink? Least I can do for my newly betrothed husband.'

Angel gave an amused look. 'I thought we were just meant to be boyfriends?'

'Sure, right now, but next month if I miss the payment I can say that we had to use the money for the wedding, it'll be a sure fire strategy!'

There was an unhappy groan. 'Look, how about I buy the drink. You pay back the debt. And I don't have to keep coming down to the wharfs and being thankful I can't breathe?'

'Okay, okay. But if you're buying, let's go somewhere a bit swanky, yeah? We can celebrate, get out there and embrace life, dress up to the nines, hit the town and give a toast to acid spitting demons having daughters getting married and therefore me getting to keep my nuts! Come on Angel, man, lets live it up a bit!'

They reached the car and Angel paused slightly before fishing out his car keys. 'Okay, why not.'

Doyle was surprised for a second before enthusiastically bundling into the car. 'Fantastic, we can stop off at your place so you can get changed.' He perked up in his seat. 'You could wear your white singlet!'


'Err, nothing!'