Secret Slasha – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

1000 Deaths
By Beth
For RabidX

What's a troop's recipe for treacherous times?
I tell 'em fast cars, danger, fire and knives.
Fast cars, danger, fire and knives...
I got her majesty Athena riding shotty wide-eyed
"Fast Cars", Aesop Rock

"Sometimes it's just about a fast car," Buffy shrugged when people asked her why she dated the Immortal. The Immortal would chuckled and squeeze her ass, as he pulled her towards him.

Xander still didn't get it, but people didn't get Anya either.

He was in Japan now, chock full of Japanese language courtesy of Willow and 7 slayers who patrolled Kyoto. The post had opened earlier in the year, and Giles had finally accepted that Xander's wide anime knowledge might actually be useful. It had proved slightly useful with possessed Shinto temples, and kitsune shapeshifting mercenaries but overall, Kyoto was calm.

Sometimes, Xander wondered if that's why they had sent him there. Africa had to be taken over by Willow when they found a new Hellmouth in Tunsia. No one had told him exactly that he wasn't qualified enough but Giles had mumbled something about shared responsibility, and Buffy promised to come visit more if he moved there. So he took the ticket and decided to eat more fish and less game.

Sometimes it bothered him, since he was the one that had found the Hellmouth. He had liked Africa, even if he was afraid of Ebola and Hyenas. But these were good girls, and he was a little happy that his chances of losing one of them was smaller then when he was in Africa.

Overall, he was happy. He liked the food, he liked the entertainment, and he liked getting to see Oz. Oz was the surprise part of the package. The girls had begged him for sweets, and he found himself pacing back and forth Fuka, waiting to buy nama-fu.

Oz walked up slowly, in that stride that Xander had practiced but never mastered with gangly teenage limbs.

His face brightened when he came into view, "What are you doing here?"

"The red bean is pretty good," Oz offered with a shrug.


He was there hoping that a mix of Shinto practice and Japanese girl surf bands would help bring balance, and he walked through the city, dressed like a 1960s throw-back in pencil leg pants and a nehru jacket. There was a basic theory he held about rhythm, that to every person that asked, he demonstrated vigurously on whatever hard surface available. He tested video games for Nintendo and drove the most amazing car Xander had ever been inside.

"Where did you get this?" Xander asked one day, running his finger delicately over the tricked out Honda's instrument panel.

"I won it," he smiled, driving quickly through traffic.

"Won it?" Xander's jaw dropped in awe, "Who would give this up?"

Oz smiled a little bigger, "I won. It's only fair. He shouldn't have challenged me to a game I tested."

"You won this playing video games?" Xander said, slightly outraged, "What did you bet?"

"My scoot-."

"Your scooter!" Xander interrupted, "That must have been one amazing scooter."

Oz sighed, pushing the car harder, "I miss my scooter."

"You're pretty good with this car," Xander placed a hand on Oz's thigh.

"I am very good at many things," Oz's foot pushed harder, as Xander's hands began unbuttoning has jeans.

He pulled the zipper down, "It's just a fast car sometimes."

"What are you doing?" Oz choked out, as his fingers finally snaked inside.

Xander chuckled slighty, "No underwear. I guess I should've expected that."