Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

Nothing the Same
By Georgiana C. Cupcakes
For Thomas

They fucked in the car that day. It was a new car. Well, it was a different one, and it was new to them, but technically it was an old one, with an enormous backseat that was pretty much made for sex. Buffy didn't really want to think about how many people must've been conceived in that backseat.

She was glad she and Tara couldn't conceive, that they couldn't have even if they'd been the right genders, because that was pretty much the last thing they needed in this life.

Anyway, there had been Tara's hands, and Tara had stubble starting to grow already, and even in this new body, stubble drove Buffy crazy and only one of her boyfriends of the past, like, ever, since LA, had been able to even grow it.

Tara had been beautiful as a woman, lush and round, but as a man she was -- she was all angles and points. She wore her hair kind of like Angel's, which was weird, but she was nothing like Angel. She swore when she kissed Buffy, and groaned loudly when they had sex, and her dick was different than Buffy remembered Angel's being, which, to be fair, she'd only seen it the once, but still.

The hair was where the similarities ended, basically.

Buffy sucked Tara's cock in the backseat, because the way Tara groaned did more for Buffy than pretty much anything. If they were stuck like this for the rest of their lives -- and if Willow found them, their lives would probably be over before they could get changed back, so the odds were pretty good that they would be -- she wouldn't mind that she got to have sex with Tara like this. It made Buffy so freaking hard -- she would take her hand off of Tara sometimes just to give herself a little something extra to strain against.


Like she did every night, Buffy sat beside the door for a lot longer than she needed to, and when she got tired of that, she paced for awhile. Like she did every night and most days, too, she wondered if Willow had detected the change yet, how much longer the changed DNA would hold. She wondered a lot of things, and each time, Tara only laid her head against Buffy's, saying nothing. Really, what could she say? It was only a matter of time.

"Do you think it's worth it?" she asked. "I just keep thinking about -- "

"The people you could have saved." Tara's voice was still low, kind of rough now -- now it was mostly the clove cigarettes she smoked.

She still couldn't think of herself as 'he', even after a year in this strange male body. It was still strange, too -- it was hers, maybe, but it was strange. Her body had been strange for a long time, though, what with the superpowers, so that was probably to be expected.

"That obvious?" Buffy asked.

Tara smiled, put her arms around Buffy from behind. And there she went. Which brought a smile to Buffy's face, at least, even if it was a totally awkward one because oh my GOD, could guys' bodies be any more ridiculous?

Tara rested her head against Buffy's, like she did every night, and Buffy felt that cock she still wasn't used to, even after all this time, getting even harder.


"Hey," Tara said one morning, opening the shower curtain enough to smile in at Buffy. They were both kind of short, as guys went, but Tara was still taller, and Buffy honestly felt that if she was going to be losing her super-strength she should've at least been getting to be taller, but whatever.


It was weird. You became a guy, and suddenly you really had no need to communicate beyond that. Tara said it was more complicated than that, that after a year or so of traveling alone they'd reached the comfortable silence part of things. Buffy still thought it was a guy thing, thought.

They smiled stupidly at each other for a few more seconds, and then Buffy realized she was getting cold, and moved away a little, breaking the line of sight so she could get back under the spray.

"Which direction today, do you think?" she asked, as Tara let the curtain fall closed. They weren't going in circles, not exactly, but they weren't going anywhere, exactly, either. She tried not to think about the fact that it was just a game of days -- God knew she thought about that enough whenever anything reminded her of Willow. Which, given that she was on the run with Willow's ex, was pretty often. The black eyes flashed so often in her dreams that she was surprised when she dreamed of anything else at all these days.

There was quiet, but she knew Tara had heard her as she set to shaving. Buffy couldn't understand how Tara had the patience for a non-electric razor -- heck, she couldn't understand why she hadn't got one back when she was still a girl.

She liked a little stubble on Tara, but that was another story altogether.

"North, I think," Tara said at last, her voice muffled by the steam even in this small space.

"Okay," Buffy said. "North it is."

It was morning, and they still had each other, and that was something.