Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

Sweetest Downfall
By Wendy
For A Secret Slasha Dropout

It all started with the white lilies. I suppose it ended with them too.

Xander always felt that it was wrong that the best time of his life had been when he was almost constantly in danger, mainly by being hunted by demons, or split in two, or just vampires generally. It made things hard to move on from.

Administration was not his forte. Although, on the site, it used to be. He was a decent manager. A planner. Practical. Here? Talk about at a loose end. Giles saw more action than he did. Not in the "action" action sense of the word. Willow seemed to be getting plenty of that. There were only so many times Xander could walk into a room and back out hastily.

In the end, he decided he needed a holiday. Leaving the exotic castle in the non-disclosed European location, waving bye bye to Giant Dawn and slinging his knapsack over his shoulder (metaphorically), he set off for pastures refreshing. So why did he end up in Los Angeles? Perhaps it was familiarity, or the ever present death wish.


In some ways, running a multi-million corporation was easier than day-to-day demon slaying. Corporate level meant the suits covered in goo were always dry cleaned in plenty of time. Even so, sometimes Angel needed to get back to the street; beat the information out of the goon and slay the pesky vampire. It was during one his 'sabbaticals' that he ran across a familiar face.


The beer raised in absent salute. "Angel."

"What? No 'Dead Boy'?"

There was a suggestion of a grin around Xander's rather grim countenance. "Got yourself a sense of humour?"

It was a few hours, a lunch, more beer and some hot dogs later that Xander decided that he had better head back to his hotel. He explained that he was just passing through, visiting the odd stomping grounds before heading to Hawaii or something. "I spend so long in the darkness that I need a little sunshine."

"LA has plenty of sunshine," Angel protested. "I never seem to get tired of avoiding it."

"Plenty of darkness too." Xander had obviously hit the morose side of drunk. Angel volunteered to let him stay at his place. They agreed on the hotel after some arguing.

Angel had no problem entering and getting comfy.


It became a regular occurrence. An "accidental" meeting, a drink or four and a return to Xander's hotel room. Later on, a certain urgency overtook them. A return to the room without the need for Dutch courage. It was there that Angel shared a confidence that changed their routine forever.

His lips were caressing Xander's neck. He trailed his tongue from ear to collarbone and laid a kiss on top of Xander's jugular. He suddenly pulled back. "I never bring you flowers."

"Don't matter." Xander insistently rubbed his neck on Angel's lips, rubbing his hands down his smooth broad back.

"But it should. I suppose I gave you flowers before." Xander found his hands being grabbed and drawn up above his head.

"When?" He struggled a little, useless against Angel's strength.

Angel grinned at him. "At the hospital. Buffy was ill."

"That wasn't you. That was..." Xander trailed off as he realised the vampire currently holding him had probably undergone a personality regression. "Angelus."

"Got it in one, loverboy." And with that, his face turned from human to vampire, and the kiss became teeth. "I was going to drain you and leave you, but I rather enjoyed our mano-a-mano." Then he bit hard into Xander's neck. After a few moments, the vampire withdrew. "Be seeing you."

Xander struggled into unconsciousness.


Back at the farm, it was a peaceful few months. Xander wondered whether to report Angel's change in circumstances. He pondered hard, thinking on how to disguise the fact he knew. Then the flowers started arriving.

An elegant bunch of white lilies, "Love Deadboy" on the tag. The first arrangement went straight into the composter. The second out of the window. The third were found by Willow. Xander decided to avoid explaining and stop this at the source.

Xander's vampire drained body was found in an alley in Los Angeles a few weeks later. There was very little sign of struggle. And it became a sad sight; rain stained gravestone, fresh earth piled high. The first in this small section of consecrated ground. A few days later, a bunch of white lilies appeared. No one knew who had left them. No one, for sure.