Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

Who Would Win In a Fight, Galactus Vs. Thanos? And Three Other Arguments Had By Spike and Xander
By Beth
For Maggie

I. Who would win in a fight, Galactus or Thanos?

"Galactus could devour anyone," Spike offered after a brief pause in conversation. They were driving down to meet Giles in London, and Spike could see Xander starting to fall asleep.

"Hmm, what?" He asked sleepily, stretching in his seat.

"Again, Galactus could devour anyone."

Xander shook his head, "Not if Thanos had the infinity gauntlet."

"I didn't say anything about the infinity gauntlet, this is a fight free of infinity gauntlets," Spike answered back.

Xander paused and looked oddly at Spike, "Wait a minute, how do you even know who Galactus or Thanos is?"

Looking down slightly embarrassed, Spike gripped the steering wheel. "I had a lot of time tied up in your basement, they were the only thing that Anya would give me to read."

He was caught off guard as Xander stepped, kissing him roughly.

Spike kissed back briefly, before tearing himself away, "We were just fighting here!"

"No, you are right, it is barely even a fight," Xander grinned, "I just liked hearing you talk geek-speak."

Spike raised an eyebrow, "Picard or Kirk?"


II. Who dresses better, Spike or Xander?

"Willow, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Xander asked first, hearing someone pick up on the other end.

"Xander, it is 3 am, of course you woke me," Willow answered, clearing her throat.

"I'll be quick then, Spike and I were arguing and, who dresses better, me or him?" he asked.

He heard a light chuckle in response.

"Most people wouldn't think of calling someone as powerful as me this early for a problem like that," She said slightly amused.

"Well?" He asked again.

"You dress like a dyslexic 4th grader, and Spike should be worried that Billy Idol is going to ask for his jacket back," She answered, "I will talk to you in the morning, good bye!"

"What did she say?" Spike asked as Xander hung up the phone.

"She said that I dress much better."


III. Which is better, "A Christmas Carol" or "A Charlie Brown Christmas"?

Xander looked stunned for a moment, followed by complete and total disbelief. "Excuse me, I've made women fall in love with me over that dance!" he announced triumphantly.

"And then she went after the ladies, fancy that?" Spike shrugged sarcastically.

Xander's eyes widened further, "Buffy likes it too!"

"That's why you watch it with them!" Spike yelled stomping towards the bookcase. Looking briefly, he grabbed a book off on of the shelves and tossed it in Xander's direction. "Read it and I'll try watching that sodding cartoon."

Xander caught the book and promptly threw it to the ground, "Not if you're going to make fun of my dance! That dance saved my life!" He turned on his heels and walked out of the room.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Spike chased after him, "It isn't that stupid."


IV. Who is crazier, Drusilla or Caleb?

"No contest, poked out my eye!" Xander pointed at his face.

Spike shook his head, "Drusilla liked to eat them."

Xander threw his hands up, "You win, let's not go down this road."