Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

Life Is Just This
By Alixtii O'Krul
For Chokolattejedi

The worst part of being back from the dead is the way Willow looks at her.

Buffy's not sure when she realized that Willow was in love with her. She's not sure that Willow is even aware of it herself, even after all that's happened, if the witch has figured out why she knew she wasn't able to live without Buffy, why she had to resort to ripping Buffy's soul from heaven itself.

And now Tara is leaving and Buffy knows that it is her fault, that all of the two witches' relationship troubles can ultimately be traced back to the spell Willow cast bringing Buffy back to life. Except Buffy can't be blamed, not really, because it's not like she asked Willow to resurrect her, to choose her over Tara. But it doesn't matter, not really, in the end who holds the blame, for what has happened has happened and can't be undone, and now the Summers' household is back to three residents again. Now it's just Buffy and Dawn and Willow, not Buffy and Dawn and Willow and Tara or even just Willow and Tara and Dawn, and they're three lost souls traveling without an anchor.

Buffy's not sure what type of comfort she is willing to offer or Willow is ready to accept. There is a part of her which wants to tell her friend that she understands why Willow did what she did, why Willow tore her away from her happy place in heaven. She wants to tell Willow that she'll never leave her again, that there's a reason why death can't even keep them apart.

She wanders into what used to be Willow and Tara's room, was her mother's before that, and sits on the bed, lost in thought. She's still lost, lost in the far recesses of her wandering thoughts, when Willow returns from her shower, dressed only in the towel wrapped around her. And Buffy looks up at her oldest friend (even if she only has Xander beat by a matter of hours) and it comes down to this: Willow is in pain, and Buffy can give her what she wants.

Buffy opens her mouth to speak, but she finds there are no words her lips can utter to express what she needs them to, so instead she simply lets them find their way to Willow's.

Willow's lips know what she wants even if her mind hadn't caught on yet (Buffy thinks it won't be all that much longer, now) and kiss Buffy back with passionate abandon. The towel is dropped to the floor, and Buffy finds a naked, wet body, still warm from the heat of the shower, pressed against her, dampening her clothes.

Those clothes are removed in the moments that follow, and it's like a dam of hitherto-repressed emotions has now been broken, as Willow furiously pushes Buffy down on the bed, the bed that once had been her mother's, once had been Willow and Tara's, but now has become, in this moment and forevermore, Willow and Buffy's.