Drawing Down The Moon
"Blessed be thy lips, that shall speak the sacred names." - Gerald Gardner
Time passed differently for Tara after she died.
The passage of time had been slow when she thinks of the last few memories of her mother, but fast when she thinks of the years in between.
Then the seemingly endless stretches of her and their life. They managed to both seem too fleeting and an eternity tucked in Tara's pockets months after she left in receipts from their dates and notes.
My love, Don't forget milk and that I have the prettiest girlfriend ever.
Forever Yours, W
Tara doesn't remember much after she left. It was a void, an aberrant moment. Her life started again in that bed.
But then it ended again, and time seemed to slow to the ticking seconds as the world shifted without her.
Tara had sat in Astronomy 101 and tried desperately to understand it. Willow had laughed when she explained that she thought it would be more the mythology about the constellations and pretty pictures. It was all complicated equations with more letters than numbers and celestial bodies that made her feel small.
But she now only had one explanation for time now, an event horizon. Nothing outside of her impacted her, light and time and people went on, and nothing seemed to change for her. She couldn't shine down to them and she could feel herself falling deeper.
When she first woke up in the darkness, the world seemed like a fuzzy haze for her. She couldn't see their faces, but she could feel Willow's heartbeat.
And the moon. The moon shone across the floor, illuminating the emptiness of her surroundings.
The first person she met was a petite dark-haired brunette with a bruised neck and a sad smile.
"I thought you might skip here," she said softly, reaching out a hand.
Tara didn't recognize her and Jenny wasn't surprised that they didn't talk about her.
She shrugged as they sat together, "You may have noticed they didn't talk about a lot things."
Jenny was the one who showed her how to see through.
"It is drawing down the moon," she explained one night when Willow's heart had slowed and Tara knew she was sleeping, "She is still listening to us, you can still talk to her."
"Willow?"
"No, someone a little more important."
Tara raised arms to the sky and could feel herself rising into the silvery orb overhead.
And it came to her in shimmering, shining love; wrapping around her and she could feel warmth for the first time since she first arrived. The Moon told her to listen and she did as the world she missed sharpened clearly and she could finally see Willow. She could see their bed, their home, and their life.
Tara kissed Jenny that night and the moon sang overhead.
The world around her started to change after that night as the dark began to sharpen into an array of inky blacks and stormy gray. The land took on elevation and spirits began to stand out over the distance.
Some formless shape, some sharp contrasted light streaming past in the sky, all distant and peaceful. Jenny sang and Tara danced as their world continued on without them and sometimes the stars would shine through like a spotlight trying to break the sky.
The Moon and Willow's heartbeat and Jenny were all there. Tara was there and everything was black but light. Full but empty. Ugly but beautiful. The world outside there turned and Tara knew she would wait.
"We stay because we aren't ready to go," Jenny explained, her hands tangled in Tara's hair. The marks had faded from her neck, Tara's shirt was no longer stained in blood, but they had bruises covered by the darkness. "She told me one night," she continued, "that I had unfinished business and I can't rest. She said that she wants me to rest, but she knows I have to wait for him."
Tara knew, the Moon had told her the same.
*Little Andromeda, I'm sorry you are trapped. You won't be forever.
Tara knew that. Her forever had been in that room, in that bed, sleeping wrapped in her arms. She knew that forever would return, but this was her new eternity.
Jenny, the Moon, and their twin hearts beating in the distance. She kissed Jenny and fell into her, sinking into their loss with ease and familiarity.
Some days, she didn't even look outside. She didn't struggle to peek through, strain to get a glimpse of the other worlds. Some days, she'd sit blankly staring.
Jenny was quiet those days. Tara knew she mourned too.
One day, a new girl appeared and they went from two to three.
"Why do they think they can't rescue me?" she asked, staring into her new world, "I'm right here and they can't find me."
Tara shook her head, "We can't be rescued from here."
Fred was dim, like one of the distant spirits Tara had seen sprinting past here. But she was solid and Tara could feel her tucked against her as they called to the Moon.
She is split in two, she sees her tie through the eyes of another, but we can watch her and wait together for them to come.
They laugh more with Fred. Jenny smiles more. Willow's heartbeat stays constant. Tara looks to the Moon.
Willow looks to the stars.
They live together in the twilight and the circle stays unbroken.