Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

Laughing Boy
By RabidX
For Skargasm

Xander shuddered and settled back on his elbows. He wasn't going to lay flat, he just couldn't bring himself to do that. Spike glowered at him and reached out to push on one shoulder.

"All the way down."

"See, this is a bad idea. I know bad ideas. One of them was even giving the hint that I would be okay with this," Xander pushed back at Spike's hand.

Spike sighed and settled back on his haunches. "What's the problem now?"

"I... so do not want to answer that," Xander hoped for leniency but Spike growled. "Okay, okay! I... won't be able to see you. And stop smirking! Keep an eye on you, is what I mean!"

"Right," Spike raised up and began to move closer. "You wanna tell me how old you are again?"

"Twenty-five," Xander said, pulling his head back. "Spike..."

The vampire held up a hand. "Shush. Answer questions only. You've had sex?"

Xander frowned and tried to push Spike away again. "Yes, you know that. You eavesdropped plenty of times."

"Stop. That," Spike pinned Xander's hand to the bed. "Twenty-five, strong enough to survive on the Hellmouth, lose an eye to the cause, put up with witches and slayers and never shagged a bloke?"

Xander chaffed his pinned wrist against Spike's grip. The friction made him groan. "No, never shagged a bloke."

"But you've always wanted to?" Spike leaned in closer, looming over him.

Xander groaned again and Spike kissed him. It was not fair, it never was, Xander thought. Didn't make it bad, just for once he would love to be in control of his desires. Right?

"Never," Xander answered when Spike let him breathe.

Spike laughed and palmed Xander's crotch. "Liar."

Xander blink and tried to focus. "What? No, wait... I wasn't talking to you. Oh... god..."

"Who were you talking to then?" Spike kept rubbing, teasing with his fingertips, pressing hard with the heel of his hand.

Xander knew he looked shameless, hips starting to grind up into Spike's hand, but it didn't matter. He'd done far more embarrassing things in his life: sung on stage in high school, told Cordelia Chase he loved her, yelped out loud at the climactic end of a back row hand-job at a movie, drunkenly told Spike he was sexy...

What was he thinking? Oh yeah, how good Spike's hand felt. He wanted to collapse backwards but that would put him out of the range of Spike's mouth, at least temporarily. Except Spike wasn't using his mouth - that sneering, bottom lip heavy, wet thing - for kissing. Spike was talking again.

"Huh?" Xander's voice cracked with confusion. "I don't remember the question."

"Who. Were. You. Talking. To?" Each staggered word was punctuated with a hard grind of Spike's hand.

"Me! Oh shit, me! I answered my own question and I should've answered yours and the answer to yours is yes, I want to shag a bloke. Please can we do that, like now?" Xander pleaded, words picking up speed. "I am about to come in my jeans and I haven't done that since high school. Okay once in the back of the car at a drive-in with Anya but to be fair she was doing just what you're doing."

Spikes' grin, Xander decided at that moment, should be illegal. His hand stilled and Xander whined. "Tut-tut. What question did you ask yourself?"

"You suck," Xander ground out and fell back on the bed. Spike still had one wrist and the tug felt as good as the rest of it. "I asked myself if I wanted to be in control of my desires."

"Do you?"

Xander peered at Spike, measuring the placid expression on the vampire's face. This whole thing started over a jug of mulled wine and sexual confessions. Spike had seemed altruistic when he volunteered to help Xander with his lack-of-sex life. Now he was too calm and too something Xander couldn't put his finger on. And it was impeding his however nervous he was, he was way hornier sex.

"Not really," he said at last and pressed his hips up again. "I figure why start now?"

Spike's illegal grin shifted into a bright smile and he popped the buttons on Xander's jeans. "Good on you."

"Ah hell..."

Xander squirmed as Spike's fingers left his open jeans alone and scratched their way up his belly. There were noises that sounded appreciative but he refused to acknowledge them or even look despite his earlier protest. Xander pressed his free arm across his face and hid. Then Spike pinched one of his nipples hard enough to send a shock of pain through his chest and he jerked his arm away fast, almost dislodging his eye-patch.

"Good. Pay attention," was all Spike said before he tugged Xander's shirt up and awkwardly over his head.

Xander laughed, no help at all, and curled in on his stomach. It was getting too serious and too absurd. Spike watched him laugh, lips twisted with amusement.

"Silly boy."

That made Xander laugh even harder and Spike got off the bed, pulling his own shirt off. "You gonna laugh the rest of the night?"

"N... no, I'll stop in a second," Xander waved his hand and finally opened his eye. "Oh. Yeah like now. You're getting naked right?"

"I don't know what made me think I could actually get you to stop asking silly questions..." Spike mused as he reached for Xander's jeans. "Yes I am getting naked. It will make it easier to fuck you. Though I certainly am not above just getting my cock out."

"Whoa I say and hey those are my jeans. Which are now on the floor," Xander reached down to grab the waistband of his boxers.

Spike sighed. "God save me... I am taking those. Up to you if they're whole when I'm done. Look, when did this have to become a comedy skit?"

Xander arched an eyebrow. "You do remember living with me yeah? I need humor. It helps me cope. Or not as the case may be."

"Xander," Spike slowly peeled off his jeans and Xander tried hard not to think about what was going where and why the sight of that cock made his feel harder. "I plan on fucking you. You're the one who thought it would be easier if we did this whole I press on through your protests and I said 'as long as it also includes answer me and nothing else'. I think we're both full of shit so I am going to be me and you are going to be fucked."

Xander grinned. "Okay. But I am still nervous, embarrassed and going to babble like a coked up Six LeMeure. I am not a teenager anymore but apparently that sort of behavior is ingrained in these situations. You don't wear underwear."

"Shut up."

Any glib response was lost as Spike kissed him again, sliding his cool body along Xander's. The gentle rhythm of Spike's cock rubbing against his rode the edge of annoying and perfect. He really didn't want to come soon but it wouldn't be terrible if he did.

"If-if you make me come now..."

"I'll just make you come again."

Xander blinked and smiled. "Bastard."

"Allegedly, yeah," Spike waggled his eyebrows before he nipped Xander's bottom lip and slid down. "Gonna take the edge off."

"N-no, that's..." was as far as Xander got before Spike's mouth latched onto his cock. That was the only way Xander could describe it. Spike was sucking hard and flicking his tongue like it was a race to get Xander off. It wasn't like he hadn't had blowjobs before, he told himself. He knew how to behave. You did not talk dirty, you touched their hair (unless it was Cordelia), you always told them when you were going to come and, above all, you never thrust. He tried to raise another protest, he pushed at Spike's head but his fingers tangled in Spike's hair instead and he bucked his hips up to meet that greedy mouth.

"Fuck, Spike, I can't hold on. Please just do that more, I really want to come," Xander begged.

Spike obliged him with a hard suck and some sort of twisting with his lips and tongue and Xander shouted once and started laughing as his hips jerked violently. It was the best orgasm he'd had in years and he was fucking laughing again. Spike was going to kill him.

"Sorry..." he gasped out when Spike finally raised his head.

"Damn near broke my nose there," Spike half-growled. "And he's laughing again."

"Well you shouldn't be so good at cock sucking, should you? I mean I was content to avoid the whole issue of what happened after then there was kissing and are you actually rolling me over and not listening now?"


Xander tried to stop Spike from moving him but Spike's fingers dug deep into his hipbones and he rolled onto his stomach. "Fine, but only because I like this."

"Good. Now, where's your lube?" Spike nipped the back of his neck while waiting for a reply.

"Gah, in the nightstand," Xander shivered.

"Thank you."

Xander settled his head on his arms and tried hard not to listen to the somewhat squishy noises coming from behind him. It was actually going to happen. Spike was going to fuck him. He bit back yet another giggle and tried to relax.

Then one of Spike's hands caressed his ass and he froze.

"Relax," Spike purred.

"Easy for you to say," Xander whispered.

"It will be fine, trust me," Spike said and rubbed a slick finger over Xander's hole.

Xander squirmed and bit his lip as Spike continued to rub. It was almost maddening how slow Spike was going, fingers just moving in a slow circle. He'd done this to himself before, to see how it felt. It felt pretty good then but now it was almost soothing.

"I'm really looking forward to this," Spike said.

"Oh yeah? Well I am glad... you love doing stuff when I'm talking. don't you?" Xander arched his back as Spike pressed a finger in.

"I really do," Spike said and slowly twisted his finger in deeper.

Xander groaned and breathed deep, matching Spike's movement. When Spike added the nect finger, he cleared his throat to stop from gasping. He let his mind drift, riding on the warmth moving up his body. It felt like forever, just fingers pressing in, pulling out, Spike murmuring softly to him, before the bed shifted and the fingers withdrew.

"Take it easy now," Spike muttered and pulled Xander's hips up.

The blunt push of Spike's cock brought him back to reality and he thumped a fist on the bed. "Spike, it's too much. I can't."

"Yes you can. Just relax, remember?" Spike stroked a hand down Xander's spine.

"No, I can't. Really, you're too big and it... no."


"No, I, oh holy hell, are you in?" He tried to turn his head to look.

Spike laughed and nodded. "Yeah. Now hang on."

Spike began to thrust shallowly and Xander hung his head, rubbing his forehead against the pillow. It hurt, burning and stretching, but he found himself pushing back. The pain dulled and he shivered as his cock tried to stir again.

Spike bit out a curse and gripped Xander's hips tight. He thrust in deeper and Xander shouted. It was too much and too deep and if Spike stopped, Xander was going to kill him.

Spike's body behind him, where it touched the back of Xander's thighs, his ass or pressed briefly across his back, was as hard as his cock. The room or the sex had warmed him and Xander wondered if he would steal more body heat when they slept. They would eventually sleep, he was sure, when this was over.

Unless Spike wanted another round and Xander was pretty damn sure he would say yes after he stopped giggling.

His hand was hard too, where it wrapped around Xander's cock. Spike squeezed and pulled, nearly forcing hardness back into semi-soft flesh. It made Xander's whole body stutter, trying to figure out the rhythm of all of this. Xander found himself hissing Spike's name over and over, not sure what it would accomplish but he had to. Spike had to know what he was doing to him by his tone.

Then Spike twisted his hand like he'd twisted his lips and Xander shouted again, drawing Spike's name out, accusing and stunned, as he came again.

When Spike came, he curled his body over Xander's and bit his shoulder. A growl reverberated through Xander's body and all that hard weight collapsed on him, driving them both to the bed. They lay there, Xander panting like a beached fish, he was sure.

After a long moment, when breath finally stuck around long enough for words, Xander spoke. "You still alive-ish back there?"

Spike chuckled and bit Xander's shoulder again. "Yes. Not much for the romance, are you?

"I'm plenty romantic, buddy. I excel at it. I, in fact, will show you just how romantic I am if you will get off me," Xander said, rubbing his head against Spike's.

Spike rolled off and stretched out over the rest of the bed. "Do tell."

Xander hissed as he sat up and peered at the clock. "Well it's Christmas officially and that means cookies and hot chocolate. You still like marshmallow in yours?"

Spike grinned. "That I do, laughing boy."