Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project
Secret Slasha — The Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Slash Fanfiction Secret Santa Project

The London Slashers
By Kate
For Maggie

Xander was the first to notice something was going on.

He first noticed one night during dinner. Giles asked him to pass the beef, and Xander had cracked a joke about Giles not getting enough of his hot meat, and there was this muffled shriek and a giggle from the other end of the very long table.

Which, okay, maybe he was hoping to get a giggle from someone, but not like that, really.

He did get an eyeroll from Giles, though. Which made it all worth it.


Then he was working out a training strategy with Giles, while the Slayers were practicing some moves, and he could swear that gang in the corner kept on looking up at him, smiling, and then leaning in to whisper at each other.

And they kept doing it.

They had these ridiculous grins on their faces, and he could swear one of them was clasping her hands to her chest like some anime character or something, all doe-eyed and hopeful.

He made them run a few laps, but even then, he thought they were looking at them.


He tried to talk to Buffy about it.

"I don't know, it just seems...weird. Like they're talking about me or something."

"You're being paranoid again," Buffy said, pulling a punch towards him as she practiced.

"Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me," he said automatically. "Besides, I don't think they're talking bad about me. They're just kind of...talking. A lot. And grinning." He brightened suddenly. "Maybe they just can't control their torrid crushes on me."

Buffy snorted.

Xander shrugged. "Yeah, okay, maybe not."

She threw another punch, then frowned. "Which girls are these again?" she asked. "I'm losing count."

"Um...mostly English, a few East Coasters, ringleader's got brown hair and tends to wear Hello Kitty t-shirts?" He gestured vaguely. "Sam? Pam? Something like that."

"Oh! Sam, yeah. Part of the London Slashers."

Xander frowned. "The what now?"

Buffy shrugged. "Dunno. It's what she called them when we first found them, remember? Bunch of them hunting vampires in London? I thought it was just something vaguely Jack the Ripper-themed."

Xander frowned, and missed the punch coming towards him. "Ow!"


He tried to talk to Giles about it, but when he went into the library, that group of girls were right there, and they looked so hopeful and happy that he just turned around and decided to bring it up later.


It finally came to a head during a strategy lesson. Most of the girls were listening intently, especially since Xander wasn't just talking about strategy, but was sharing the epic story of how he snuck into the Army base and stole a rocket launcher and helped Buffy save the day. Some were even taking notes.

But that group of girls were sitting in the back, passing a notebook back and forth, scribbling furiously and giggling.

Xander never wanted to be a teacher. He never wanted to be that kind of stick in the mud. But he still found himself standing in front of them, holding out his hand for the book. "You can have it back when the lesson's finished," he said, and Sam handed it to him, eyes wide and terrified.

He didn't give it back to her after the lesson. Because he made the mistake of looking down at the open page, and seeing a sketch of him having sex with Giles.

And the lesson ended kind of quickly after that.


"I mean, it's right there! All nudity and sex and I think there's even a bottle of lube in the corner!" Xander wailed at Willow.

Willow was flipping through the notebook, trying to not grin. She wasn't succeeding very effectively. "I can see that..." she said. She looked up at Xander. "At least they're concerned with your comfort?"

Xander stared at her.

Willow shook her head and closed the notebook. "So they're writing stories about you--"

"And drawing pictures!" Xander interrupted.

"And drawing pictures..." Willow looked up at him. "So?"

Xander's mouth dropped open and he stared at her.

Willow shook her head. "No, I mean, so what do you want to do about it? It's not like we can ground them or take away all their notebooks or something like that." She looked at him and smiled. "Besides, I thought you would've gotten a kick out of it. Hot young women spending all their time thinking about you and sex?" She shrugged. "Seems like a great time to me."

"Ha ha," Xander snarked. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

Willow held out the notebook to him. "Have you talked to Giles about it yet?"

Xander held up his hands. "Oh my God, how do you expect me to do that? 'Hey, G-Man, funniest thing, there's this group of girls that've been writing these stories about us having hot gay sex. Gosh, those crazy kids, huh? Can't imagine where they got the idea!'"

Willow raised an eyebrow. "'Hot gay sex'?" she repeated, with emphasis on 'hot'.

Xander blushed and looked away.

Willow clasped her hands together, and Xander could swear there were hearts in her eyes. "Oh Xander!" she breathed, hopeful, excited.

"Oh God, kill me now," he muttered.


He finally had to talk to Giles. And, unfortunately, because of those girls, the only place he could talk with Giles in peace was in Giles's bedroom.

And he swore that one of the girls was being the lookout for such an occurance, because once he knocked on the door, he heard footstepps clattering in the other direction. Stealthy Slayer-like footsteps.

Xander could feel the start of a headache, and he rubbed his forehead tiredly. Giles answering the door in a bathrobe didn't help the headache either. "Yes?" Giles asked.

Xander sighed. "Um...can I talk to you about something?" he asked. When Giles let him enter the bedroom, Xander held out the notebook.

Giles took the notebook and began flipping through it. "What's this?" he asked.

"There's this group of girls and they..." Xander trailed off as Giles reached the art section. "Yeah."

Giles's eyebrows were raised. "Oh."


Giles frowned a bit as he tilted the notebook to look at the artwork closer. "Indeed."

Xander sighed. "So, yeah, they...I don't know. Do we take away their notebooks, do we tell them to stop it, what?"

Giles looked up at Xander, a light smile playing on his lips. "What do you want to do about it, Xander?"


The next morning, the girls were positively glowing in delight, but didn't say anything. Not even when Xander snuck out of Giles's room.


And Xander never mentioned the notebook again.